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top 200 commentsshow all 364

[–]HighDefHotDog 165 points166 points ago

Carthaginian war veteran.

[–]jleonardbc 23 points24 points ago

Elephants: Never Forget

[–]ShasOFish 6 points7 points ago

and Never Forgive.

[–]lindh 54 points55 points ago

Let's stay neutral, go with "Punic"

[–]voiceofverse 5 points6 points ago

The Romans did not use elephants.

[–]okmkz 5 points6 points ago

I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the vehicle and provide a source for that claim.

[–]voiceofverse 10 points11 points ago

Okie dokie. One second.

Turns out I wasn't entirely accurate. While the Romans did not use elephants in the Punic Wars, the Carthaginian war elephants so impressed Roman commanders that they adopted their usage in subsequent conflicts.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_elephant#section_1

[–]HighDefHotDog 2 points3 points ago

Instead of traditional wars, I think they should have had armies of war elephants fight it out while they all got drunk and laughed. That sounds like something Romans might do, right?

[–]Noah_JK 14 points15 points ago

[–]HighDefHotDog 3 points4 points ago

Oh, man. That's awesome.

[–]rickanddianne 8 points9 points ago

Callous but funny.

[–]voiceofverse 2 points3 points ago

If you think that callous, you should grow some thicker skin.

[–]Shiftkgb 4 points5 points ago

Long live Hannibal! Death to Rome!

[–]Lux_Perpetua 5 points6 points ago

Carthago delenda est.

[–]freedomonster 237 points238 points ago

AAAH my EARRRS!

[–]darthchurro 95 points96 points ago

Elephants' ears are mad tough. It's how riders mount their elephants in south asia.

[–]llcbdavis 57 points58 points ago

id like to ride into work on an elephant. that'd show 'em who's crazy as hell and likely to go on a mad shooting rampage

[–]ithunk 79 points80 points ago

id like to ride into work on an elephant

We do this in India.

source: indian.

[–]SGMD1 56 points57 points ago

I remember I was visiting Delhi about 5 years ago and we were on what seemed like a brand new or recently paved highway. All of a sudden, boom. Dude riding on an elephant walking down the road.

EDIT: Pic!

[–]Big-Baby-Jesus 57 points58 points ago

I see he had recently appeared on Pimp My Elephant.

[–]CtotheW 26 points27 points ago

Don't try to find the Xbox.

[–]Ozlin 7 points8 points ago

Put an xbox in your trunk, dawg!

[–]didntVoteObama 21 points22 points ago

I find the work you put into your blur very refreshing. Not just your average scribble with the paintbrush.

[–]A_Goddamned_Liar 9 points10 points ago

These things make one realize how small the world is.

I saw these same individuals (two men on elephant) in Dehli at the time you described (early summer of 2008). I believe the second man only had one leg and was carrying crutches on elephant.

I believe my mother took few photographs as well.

Will edit comment with link to pictures if she can provide them.

[–]imhereforthevotes 4 points5 points ago

Runs on biofuel.

[–]llcbdavis 7 points8 points ago

sweet. id slap somebody i love to go to india. wish i could ask you about 37million question

[–]FireCrotchRockt 13 points14 points ago

Reddit Request AMA Indian Who Rides an Elephant Into Work

[–]InspiredByKITTENS 10 points11 points ago

You'd slap someone you love, but that's not much of a sacrifice. Would you cut off your left hand for it? If you cut off your left hand, I will fund your trip to India*.

*just kidding, I can't even fund dinner tonight.

[–]llcbdavis 9 points10 points ago

shit! i cut off my hand before i read the last part. that was my other typing finger. sorry if you're hungry. id share my dinner with you if i could

[–]brainburger 5 points6 points ago

Do you want a pizza?

[–]InspiredByKITTENS 8 points9 points ago

Naw man I'm good. I've been on randomactsofpizza, and the people there need it worse than I ever will (hopefully). I've got student loans to live off of right now, I'm at least not living paycheck to paycheck. I'm just getting hit with unexpected expense after unexpected expense this month and it blows. Thanks though, you're awfully kind :)

[–]maarakane 0 points1 point ago

who needs to go on a shooting rampage, when they have an elephant to do the work?

[–]llcbdavis 3 points4 points ago

good point. id put bootees on my elephant so he doesnt get jerkwad blood on his toes

[–]maarakane 2 points3 points ago

i suggest spikes for a little bit of collateral damage

[–]llcbdavis 2 points3 points ago

spikes it is. thank you.

[–]themoop78 174 points175 points ago

I guess now I know where my table came from... :(

http://www.tooveys.com/lots/116683/1thumb.jpg

[–]tickleberries 13 points14 points ago

Love the table! Would love it even more on an elephant as a prosthetic leg!

[–]StuffHobbes 5 points6 points ago

That sucks, man. Here, have a cigarette

[–]nietczhse 13 points14 points ago

That sucks, man. Here, have a cigarette

FTFY

[–]mysistersthetoastgrl 19 points20 points ago

No....I think of you as a...3-legged elephant...named Tendafoot

[–]wackyappy 5 points6 points ago

Lil Brother! You have the heart of a champion!

[–]skare44 14 points15 points ago

As an Amputee, I highly approve of this, would like to just see what it's like to have the other one off too!

[–]Jungle2266 5 points6 points ago

Are you saying you'd like to see what it's like to be a double amputee? If so, how come?

[–]usernumber85 18 points19 points ago

At a guess (informed, perhaps, by the fact that I am an amputee as well), if that is what he's saying, it might be because different muscle groups than you might expect are used to move the prosthetic leg. Mostly back and hip. After a while, if you don't take care of yourself, the muscles begin to seem a bit uneven.

Also, many single-leg amputees injure both legs, but only lose one. So one is new, and one is both damaged and required to compensate. My "good" leg is usually much worse than my amputated leg, because the ankle/shin/calf/knee not only took shrapnel damage and healed imperfectly, they are required to support an unequal amount of my weight and balance. Plus the earlier-mentioned back pain and tendency to rely even more on that leg if I'm not keeping up with my exercise.

All in all - I have wondered many times if the balance from being a double amputee would make things easier. However, having talked to too many, I would say that having a natural joint on just one side, even if damaged, is better overall than missing that joint on both sides. Maybe more painful, but a higher quality of life.

I know you weren't asking me, just thought I'd try to help! Most don't know anything about amputees, but you're more likely to have met one than you think - most of the time, in jeans, no one knows.

[–]snoops69 1 point2 points ago

I am also an amputee and run seminars for child amputees through the War Amps in Canada. During the experiences i have had their, I have learned that it is easier for kids atleast, and most specifically their backs, to have a residual leg still intact. The stress that would come from having a bi-lateral amputation would severely limit the strain your back could take later on in life.

[–]Cazmonster 58 points59 points ago

Sometimes, science makes up for the worst things in the world.

[–]skeptic11 71 points72 points ago

Aren't landmines just as much science as prosthetic limbs?

[–]Mixed-Signals 165 points166 points ago

No way man, prosthetic limbs are at least 9 times more science.

[–]mrbooze 41 points42 points ago

I mean, it's funny, but it is kinda true. It took us some like 700 years to get from land mine science to prosthetic elephant limb science.

[–]PapauNewGuinea 15 points16 points ago

But it took us hundreds of years to get from human prosthetic limb science to land mine science.

[–]Uhrzeitlich 14 points15 points ago

Ol' Pegleg.

[–]iDontSayFunnyThings 4 points5 points ago

Well.. We've got peglegs now.. We just need to find some way to remove the legs...

[–]ThunderGyra 11 points12 points ago

[–]aspergers-hermit 17 points18 points ago

Sometimes I wonder what animals think about the benevolent actions of humans. Like when an animal falls down a hole and gets saved, are they thankful? I wonder if this elephant is grateful for his prosthesis. If so, I am sure she( i didn't see a giant elephant shlong) will always be nice to whoever strapped that thing on there because after all, an elephant never forgets.

[–]Haughtstuff 10 points11 points ago

Elephants also never forgive......

[–]thebest99 5 points6 points ago

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor. It then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

[–]GrandmaTITMilk 6 points7 points ago

I like how they still put the "toe nails" on the prosthesis

[–]Tarantio 9 points10 points ago

"What? . . . They turned it into a wastebasket?"

[–]walkerkg 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, Far Side!!

[–]Bixby66 11 points12 points ago

Eh I think I'm getting more use out of it.

[–]crentist1 3 points4 points ago

Looks kinda like its held together with duct tape.

[–]luckyhandz 3 points4 points ago

We have the technology. We can somewhat rebuild him. We can make him, um, better...kinda. Strong-ish. Faster than, say, a marble statue of an elephant.

[–]The_Maddog 25 points26 points ago

It's not awesome. It's sad. A landmine did it.

It saddens me that humans caused this....but it outright disgusts me that as a species, some of us can actually invent and use something as heinous like a landmine.

Edit: Since I've heard "it's easy to say that when no ones trying to kill you" more than once now I'd like to say what a fucking stupid frame of mind that is. Laying down an explosive that will indiscriminately kill someone when stepped on, friend or foe, at any time after being laid...well..that's outright fucking insane! That's not a defensive tactic, it's just random mayhem with intent to kill. There's a reason the Ottawa Treaty exists. I suggest you learn about it before you proceed further!

[–]Thjoth 41 points42 points ago

Landmines are really just an alternative for the normal traps that humans have been using on each other for tens of thousands of years. I wouldn't really call them heinous so much as an inevitable development of the human species. The only difference is that the landmines remain dangerous for longer than the traditional alternative, but traditional traps using punji sticks and other such devices tend to inadvertently kill and maim things for years after the fact as well.

[–]helloimhary 19 points20 points ago

And its not like traps are even that heinous a thing. They're an effective way deterring enemy movement. I'm sure a lot of people would say war is a heinous thing and I wouldn't disagree, but landmines are no more heinous than any other part of warfare. The only real heinous thing about landmine deployment is not to keep detailed maps and for the countries involved in the war to clean them up afterward.

[–]Chumbaniya 8 points9 points ago

It's not as if all war is equal. War which is focused on eliminating enemy forces and achieving strategic objectives quickly and efficiently is vastly less damaging than war which involves indiscriminate shelling of civilians and leaves behind devices which will maim and kill for years to come. As much as war is in itself undesirable, there are forms of war that are worse than others. Sending in a small elite force to capture an enemy stronghold is very different to shelling that stronghold and the surrounding town into oblivion.

[–]thebrassnuckles 1 point2 points ago

Technically, killing enemy forces is bad war fighting.

If you maim an enemy, not only did you remove the wounded fighter, but in most cases you also removed 2 more enemies by having them carry their comrade back to medical care. That's 3 guys you don't have to worry about for a while.

[–]ghostdog20 7 points8 points ago

Really? It seems like an effective way of hurting something that you don't like.

[–]Pizzadude 7 points8 points ago

The issue is that they are indiscriminate. You are just as likely to kill someone you like as someone you dislike.

[–]MiracleWhipSucks 2 points3 points ago

Theoretically if I were to put down a landmine, the first thing I would do is tell people I like "hey, I put down a landmine over here". But I see your point.

[–]gattofila 3 points4 points ago

Like kids and elephants? :/

[–]ghostdog20 3 points4 points ago

Sure, if that's how you roll. Then again, people may not like you for doing that, so they would then kill you.

It all balances out.

[–]gattofila 1 point2 points ago

If only it did "all balance out." If only.

[–]murtclurk 14 points15 points ago

amputephant

[–]wizzz 3 points4 points ago

Does anyone else think he has the biggggggest smile on his face?

[–]Calveezzzy 0 points1 point ago

Is this the sequel to that stupid dolphin movie?

[–]darahen2004 2 points3 points ago

aww, poor baby

[–]werstardust 5 points6 points ago

poor guy, i hope he's ok

[–]SoulLessGinger992 5 points6 points ago

Unfortunately, she is not an amputee, she stepped on a land mine. This is a more common occurrence than most people are aware of, especially in Burma and Vietnam. She's also one of many with this type of prosthetic. Here's one of the more recent occurrences.

[–]GrinningPariah 67 points68 points ago

I'm pretty sure that "amputee" does not refer to how the limb was lost, just that it is minus a limb.

[–]thebest99 11 points12 points ago

I felt slightly dumber after reading the original post...

[–]flying-sheep 8 points9 points ago

Also if you lose part of a limb to a landmine or another clause that's not a clean cut, they surely amputate a bit more to ensure it's clean.

[–]GrinningPariah 4 points5 points ago

Sure, but the point is that the landmine itself amputated the rest of it. I guess the comment I replied to thinks all the amputees coming back from Afghanistan just got tired of their legs or something.

[–]MoarVespenegas 1 point2 points ago

If it's a legitimate land mine the elep-
A fuck, I can't do it.

[–]rwbronco 5 points6 points ago

ugh, kind of didn't expect to see an elephants foot blown up. I feel sad now...

[–]ckitz 3 points4 points ago

Somebody should photoshop a party hat on it.

[–]CyberSoldier8 10 points11 points ago

[–]lisabadcat 3 points4 points ago

That's not bad, but you should check out my new umbrella stand!

[–]rickanddianne 2 points3 points ago

I know your all kidding with the tables and umbrella stand, It's just not funny.

[–]WOWAMAO 2 points3 points ago

who is this man who gave this animal another leg?! WHAT IS HIS NAME. I NEED TO GIVE HIM AN AWARD.

[–]KingRadon69 0 points1 point ago

Awesome!

[–]drylube 1 point2 points ago

this is just depressing

[–]MyManD 1 point2 points ago

Personally it makes the elephant look like an old man with a walker, probably shouting for the humans to get off his lawn.

[–]Sonicboom510 1 point2 points ago

TECHNOLOGY BABY!

[–]taypat 0 points1 point ago

He has such a wise and refined smile :)

[–]SerDelta 0 points1 point ago

No titanium for this fella. Carbon steel?

[–]705nce 1 point2 points ago

This elephant is more bad ass then you think. Baby elephant that stepped on a landmine at 7 months 2nd pic in slide show. http://www.newser.com/story/66995/elephant-getting-prosthetic-leg.html

[–]TopsBloobie 0 points1 point ago

One step closer to the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant...

[–]Medd_Ler 0 points1 point ago

I wonder how much anesthetic they had to use for the operation?

[–]lidahasbrouck -1 points0 points ago

whoa - that's weird. and... am I the only one who thinks the realish foot tip is creeeepy?

[–]element6868 0 points1 point ago

for all you know he could be a total asshole! unlikely though

[–]Bindlz 0 points1 point ago

Im guessing you were watching Oasis HD yesterday?

[–]iamagainstit 0 points1 point ago

quite relephant.

[–]needsomesleep 1 point2 points ago

Awesome! I was wondering why people where talking so much about the pictures of the next Robocop!

[–]Whompa 0 points1 point ago

HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR?!

[–]Mr_Softy 0 points1 point ago

I think her name is "Ilene."

[–]TheLoveMachine 1 point2 points ago

:'( Poor guy :S

[–]buyingaspaceship 1 point2 points ago

i wonder if the elephant is even smart enough or aware that he is wearing an amputee leg, do you think when he see`s other elephants walking around hes looking at there legs and wishes he had a leg ? im high right now so i would like an answer since i have been pondering this

[–]ConnzoBaggins 0 points1 point ago

Hmm. Looks like duct tape.

[–]DeepSpaceHomer 0 points1 point ago

At first I thought his leg was really pixellated.

[–]jereff23 0 points1 point ago

I can't wait until they attach a Gatling gun to it

[–]REO_Teabaggin 1 point2 points ago

Man, Heather Mills has really let herself go.

[–]tickleberries 0 points1 point ago

That is amazing! I wonder how much weight is on that leg. I kind of wonder if a wheel of some type might be better, not that I'd want an elephant rolling by.

[–]othankevan 0 points1 point ago

Heh...Heather Mills elephant...

[–]TylerStoney 0 points1 point ago

All alliteration aside.

[–]BenNCM 1 point2 points ago

Let go of his ear you little knobhead!

[–]TimmyPitts 0 points1 point ago

Stumpalupagus!

[–]f_face -1 points0 points ago

i bet that thing stinks

[–]merzachief 0 points1 point ago

Someone should turn this into a children's book. It would definitely inspire kids with similar disabilities.

[–]SirN3on 0 points1 point ago

First thing I thought of, Elephant Skywalker.

[–]zarexruhh 0 points1 point ago

I thought this was a meme at first.

[–]tomhynes 0 points1 point ago

We need better mine fuzes. How about a fuze with a clock that will go off exactly at midnight at some expiration date not more than x months in the future on the first of the month?

Just stay the hell out of the fields at midnight on the first of every month, and old minefields will clear themselves. Fuze shouldn't cost more than a dollar.

Mines are very useful in warfare, and you aren't going to get people to stop using them, including the U.S. Army.

[–]theunderjungle 1 point2 points ago

Elephants always look so damn happy.

[–]27yearold 0 points1 point ago

[–]juhikhan -1 points0 points ago

i'd like to ride into work on an elephant :)

[–]FireCrotchRockt -1 points0 points ago

Elephant Punch?

[–]ElagabalusCaesar 0 points1 point ago

What a shame. I never asked for this.

[–]penkap1 -1 points0 points ago

How do you know he's awesome? For all you know he lost it while trying to steal money from an orphan.

[–]morceli 0 points1 point ago

That is the Oscar Pistorius of elephants. Although, I wonder how an elephant would feel wearing "Cheetah" prosthetic blades...

[–]goddit 0 points1 point ago

Elephant has that old man grin.

[–]calamormine -1 points0 points ago

Fun fact: most mammals would consider such a prosthetic a faux paw.

[–]wolfgang5feet 0 points1 point ago

That elephant is totally saying to himself "I'm freaking awesome right now!"

And also he's saying "Holy shit! I can speak English!"

And I'm all "Yeah."

[–]iSqueezeBunnies 0 points1 point ago

I know this was caused by a landmine and elephant poaching is a big deal.

But here: there are some elephants that need to put on a diet because they are overweight.

[–]Enzodbr9 0 points1 point ago

Elephants eats chutes and leaves.

[–]suxguy 1 point2 points ago

Oh Lord he's got the diabetes.

[–]drsuperfly 0 points1 point ago

Just 3 more times and I can complete my set.

[–]tie3278 0 points1 point ago

AWESOMEEEEEE, usually they would just discard them

[–]Whargod 1 point2 points ago

He was warned to take care of himself when he got the diabeetus...

[–]warrantofice 0 points1 point ago

I fail to see how an elephant with a missing leg is 'awesome'.

[–]HyperbolicPixel 0 points1 point ago

That elephant's a trooper!

[–]Nishta 1 point2 points ago

I don't like the way his ears are grabbed, may be that's normal? They have obviously helped the poor creature.

[–]senexmajor 0 points1 point ago

what a wanker

[–]jun2san 0 points1 point ago

Never Forget.

[–]Dresden_skyline 0 points1 point ago

Paralympics mother fucker!

[–]JonEinTheCitites 0 points1 point ago

I wonder what goes through the mind of an elephant (or any animal for that matter) that has a prosthetic limb. To what extent do they understand their injury and the prosthetic that we've provided them with? When it wears the prosthetic, does it think: "well I've got a leg, but there's something weird about it..."

[–]BrownSlop 0 points1 point ago

... Pretty awesome

[–]TimothyGonzalez -1 points0 points ago

How is this an awesome elephant?! I prefer mine healthy and fully functional.

[–]CrazyDrummer 1 point2 points ago

Awesome my balls. Awesome would be to see all the people that hurt elphants burning slwoly while listening the whole discography of enya.

[–]Hargisr 0 points1 point ago

I Fucking love elephants!!!!!!!!!

[–]Psychomyth 0 points1 point ago

I didn't even know this was possible.

[–]XxCOLExX22 0 points1 point ago

Just wondering, similar with a person, how does that stay on?

[–]TheOneTrueCripple 0 points1 point ago

KUDOS to whomever built that prosthesis! That's so awesome!

[–]ilosemyhair 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if the elephant is smart enough to quickly realize that the strange device it's keepers put on it's leg is there to help it.

[–]Connor6 0 points1 point ago

Well how the hell did that happen.

[–]oceansmaximus 0 points1 point ago

Made me smile. Now I'm gonna go play prototype and rip people in half. Funny how that works.

[–]BigBear94 0 points1 point ago

They had something similar in Cambodia:

http://i.imgur.com/jhv2J.jpg

[–]gayfoot 0 points1 point ago

God, I love elephants.

[–]Anaract 0 points1 point ago

can anyone find that Far Side comic where the 3-legged elephant is in the phonebooth, saying "They used it for a waste basket?!"

Because I can't find it anywhere

[–]danmul 0 points1 point ago

Holly balls that thing must be sturdy.

[–]dazeeed_70 0 points1 point ago

I really dont like the way hes pulling his ears

[–]misty-mountain 0 points1 point ago

Aw, great story!

[–]Griffdude13 0 points1 point ago

All I can think of is Hellboy.

[–]arjysseus 0 points1 point ago

Who's the dick who's about to pull the elephant's ears off? Hasn't he suffered enough?

[–]shnazzle23 0 points1 point ago

what a trooper! i love elephants :)

[–]Soulfly37 0 points1 point ago

part of the picture looks pixelated

[–]Monkey_Logic 0 points1 point ago

If you trust a bunch of humans with guns you're going to have a bad time.

-Awesome Amputee Elephant

[–]spoonard 0 points1 point ago

Poor packy-dermian!!!

[–]JD397 0 points1 point ago

It looks so happy!

[–]hipinhipster 0 points1 point ago

This is fly as fuck.

[–]GypsyCrab 0 points1 point ago

hooray for this amazing animal!!! i am, however, totally trying to resist the urge to take this picture and draw a little skull and crossbones on his prosthesis [as if this elephant isn't already pretty badass!]

[–]pullo1658 0 points1 point ago

What the hell is he doing to it's ear?

[–]nottodayfolks -1 points0 points ago

There's nothing I like seeing more then animals getting better healthcare than some humans have access too.

[–]syllabic 0 points1 point ago

Tacky elephant leg furniture everywhere..

[–]ThisIsCobb 0 points1 point ago

SCIENCE!!

[–]DrDisgusto 0 points1 point ago

The meat was later used in school lunches everywhere.

[–]EuropeanLady 0 points1 point ago

Cute elephant! I wonder what happened to him that caused him to lose his leg?

[–]EmpressSharyl 0 points1 point ago

Why are they yanking on his ears? Assholes.

[–]B1naryG0d -1 points0 points ago

I wonder who the automail mechanic is. Winry?

[–]tacobelljunkie 0 points1 point ago

It's so cute!

[–]noobwriter 0 points1 point ago

I like to think this elephant was in some badass fight and tusked the shit out of a tiger or something after having it's leg bit off. But it probably was an infection.

[–]sarcasm_r_us 0 points1 point ago

Somewhere, there is an umbrella stand with an awesome prosthetic elephant attached.

[–]Sulgoth 0 points1 point ago

My god, that thing must have suspension like a bloody flat bed.

[–]Lostwanderer91 0 points1 point ago

He looks extremely happy!

[–]i1ducati 0 points1 point ago

Pistorius...

[–]booful11 0 points1 point ago

Wow that's amazing. First elephant ive seen without a leg

[–]Arthus 0 points1 point ago

I didn't ask for this.

[–]pat0307 0 points1 point ago

The 6 million pound elephant. " we have the technology"

[–]GB20 0 points1 point ago

Wait until we perfect the rocket boosters buddy, you'll flying in no time!

[–]curly84 0 points1 point ago

Looks like the poor thing is about to lose it's ear next.. Wtf?!

[–]yeahHedid 0 points1 point ago

... as opposed to all those asshole amputee elephants.

[–]Unrealdude 0 points1 point ago

Generation 6 Pokémon: Phamputee.

[–]ctrimble 0 points1 point ago

Pull his ears, keep him in chains. I hate the way people treat elephants.

[–]Max_Beezly 0 points1 point ago

That is the happiest elephant I have ever seen.

[–]MarsSpaceship 0 points1 point ago

elegphant.

[–]luxanderson 0 points1 point ago

I don't know if anyone has said "fucking amazing" yet. I figure they have. But my give-a-shit-to-read-every-comment leg got run over by a train, and they haven't developed a prosthetic for it yet.

[–]TheDiscoBastard 0 points1 point ago

That elephant is a badass

[–]Itsmeagainmom -1 points0 points ago

But now he'll never jump.

[–]jingle_of_dreams 0 points1 point ago

She's smiling! :)