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How I feel when my wife gets me to buy "feminine products" for her.... (imgur.com)

submitted ago by fumanchuprimus

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[–]dabadguy 17 points18 points ago

Does no ones wife tell them exactly what to get? Do you not see packaging under the sink or in the closet or wherever they are kept?

[–]Trifur 1 point2 points ago

My wife would carefully describe the package and brand. I would still buy the wrong size or absorbency.

[–]dabadguy 0 points1 point ago

If she sent you for milk or bread would that be difficult too? Why is it so hard? I just don't get it.

[–]Trifur 1 point2 points ago

Because I can buy the milk I like and the bread I like because I buy them frequently and I know what they look like. If I see a sale on a different brand or have a coupon then I can feel free to buy different ones.

With feminine products you have to buy exactly the right one she wants at the right time. For low flow you buy a certain product, for moderate flow you buy a different one, for Shining blood elevators you have to buy a tampon and a pad to catch what the tampon lets by and both of those must be a certain brand and type that is different than the others.

Don't get me wrong. I have gone out and bought all this shit for my wife and for girlfriends but they are very tetchy about you buying not quite the right one or the right size package or whatever. There is no catching a sale or having a coupon for a different brand. You must have the right one.

[–]jrlp 50 points51 points ago

I've never understood the idea that men shouldn't get female products..

I've always thought of it as "It's my vagina, I need to take care of it!"

I'm out the door to get tampons, heat packs, chocolate, and midol when I first hear those words..

[–]crestonfunk 47 points48 points ago

Yeah. This is true. Summed up best here

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 8 points9 points ago

TIL Louis C.K. Is my one true love.

[–]jared030858 5 points6 points ago

I'm 20 and never gave a shit. Oh god its blood! AAAAHHH!....really?

[–]pigbutts -3 points-2 points ago

logged in just to upvote

edit: wat

[–]degumommy 14 points15 points ago

This makes a lot more sense once I get that you're male. And as the soon-to-be-wife of a man like you, good job sir. You make your lady's life easier!

[–]jrlp 10 points11 points ago

Yup, male. It's funny, though. I've left job sites covered head to toe in grease, smelling of burned hair and oil and smoke (I'm a weldor) strolling into a WalMart at 3am to get feminine care products.. gets quite the looks!

Glad to hear you have a man who takes care of you! Seems far and few between, sadly enough, now days..

[–]danaofdoom 12 points13 points ago

See everyone? Nice guys do get the girl.

[–]BrainInAJar 9 points10 points ago

I never thought of it as a big deal. The only "I don't know what I'm doing" moment comes when you have a new girlfriend and you don't know her brand preferences yet. Other than that, I've always made it clear that "if you need tampons, put them on the shopping list, because I'm shit for guessing what the date is"

[–]amputeenager 3 points4 points ago

that's just it though. It's the variety. I look at the box in the bathroom and think to myself "I got this." I get to the store and the aisle...and the rack slowly starts expanding both horizontally and vertically until I'm looking at the Great Wall of China of feminine hygiene products. Eventually a female staff member realizes what's going on, takes pity on me and helps me find what i need.

TL/DR: go to store, look overwhelmed.

[–]CandyDish 3 points4 points ago

Take a photo on your phone of the exact box. I'm a girl and sometimes I can't even remember which ones I've bought :/

[–]amputeenager 2 points3 points ago

that's...brilliant.

[–]lilfunky1 1 point2 points ago

That makes a lot of sense!

I used to just tell them to take the empty package and match it. This is at least more discreet in that they're not walking around with a cardboard tampon box in their back pocket!

[–]BrainInAJar 4 points5 points ago

Just get the Tampax variety pack and you're good man... Every girlfriend I've had has been happy with that.

Also, I can't believe I'm discussing tampons with another dude. What the fuck have I become?

[–]amputeenager 2 points3 points ago

the only thing we can do is look down, never make eye contact and slowly walk away from each other riddled with shame.

[–]attigirb 5 points6 points ago

It's not shameful. It's normal.

[–]Ennil 0 points1 point ago

To be fair as a woman I also get overwhelmed and freaked out when I go to a big chain supermarket. Once you have to face the "Great Wall of China" of products like you said, you suddenly realize how many choices there are.

[–]zymmetrix 1 point2 points ago

I don't mind, as I usually do the grocery shopping. My wife takes photos on her smartphone and texts them to me, though. That way, I have visual references.

[–]Trifur -3 points-2 points ago

Quit being so pussy whipped. It is her vagina. She can take care of it.

In any case women are often crazy specific about what they use when on their period and get all crazy on you when you buy the not quite right tampon or pad or on those crazy months tampon and pad.

They know this will happen every month or so. Why are they not stocked to the ceiling on this stuff?

[–]Vouk73 35 points36 points ago

"Hey honey, what exactly do you want?"

"I want brandX typeY..."

"Alright."

But that's probably too outlandish a suggestion. I mean, who can remember two words, right? (Or write them down)

[–]Aperture_Lab_Tech 3 points4 points ago

Lets be honest here, you spend your spare time vectoring ponies. You have never been in this situation.

[–]Vouk73 -2 points-1 points ago

Sure, Aperture Lab Tech, sure. Please tell me about life and women.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 1 point2 points ago

That must be why GlaDOS is such a bitch, amirite?

[–]p47121ck -4 points-3 points ago

Hey man, just enjoy the joke

[–]connorblikre -1 points0 points ago

they always leave out one important detail and then you're at the store looking at three different products that fit the given criteria and you have no choice but knock over the shelves, bar the doors, and shoot everyone

[–]fireorgan 8 points9 points ago

somebody get this goat some gloves.

[–]IPostInWrongReddits 9 points10 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/HiWju.gif

[–]Jubeii 1 point2 points ago

you can't argue with that

[–]akatherder 1 point2 points ago

Yes the shoes should be on the back legs and gloves should be on udder. This makes no sense.

[–]fireorgan 1 point2 points ago

somebody give that ass a haircut

[–]synicalx1 1 point2 points ago

OH&S hazard right there, poor guy could lose a finger

[–]oldman78 9 points10 points ago

I just take a picture of the package at home first. Occupational hazard of living within range of an active vagina.

[–]synicalx1 2 points3 points ago

You make it sound like a volcano

EDIT: Mt Vagineus

[–]oldman78 2 points3 points ago

A lot like a volcano. Quietly powerful and impossible to contain when it is angered.

[–]beckysmom 25 points26 points ago

My poor husband... he's outnumbered by women in his household and has found himself in that situation often. One evening when younger daughter was a baby & older daughter in throes of puberty (yeah - we have 11 years between our 2 children, great family planning there!)- he was sent to the store for diapers & pads. Came back & asked the young teen "you want the ones with disney princesses or the ones with wings?"

[–]ANAL_QUEEN -1 points0 points ago

You know that Becky!

[–]Social_Minnie 11 points12 points ago

Here's one rule: DO NOT GET THE SCENTED KIND!! There is a possibility of her getting irritated.

[–]fendenkrell 11 points12 points ago

always buy the SUPERS you cant go wrong with those. if you buy em too small you might wake up to your bathroom sink filled with cold pink water and stained panties soaking. its really fucking gross.

[–]Bobsentme 29 points30 points ago

True story:

My wife had given birth to our first son, and sadly, had to ask me to go buy her pads. Now, being that this woman just given birth, I was in NO POSITION to say "um...no?". So, I manned up and went into the nearest box store possible.

My mission? To buy feminine pads. Pads that Sinbad himself had joked bout soaking up entire rivers.

I walked in, and literally had to go to the back of the walmart sized store. This meant I had to walk the length of the store holding these in my hand. Ok, no worries. I'm a fucking man, I'm gonna tell everyone who snickers that I just procreated and by god, my wife has my everlasting respect.

I look for a few minutes, compare prices and features (really, there are hundreds of options. How ladies do this on their own in the middle of a period, I'll never know.

Eventually, I go for the most absorbant. (because, you know, she is bleeding quite badly down there). I grab the pack, and begin walking through the store, head held high. I practically strut up to the counter, lay down my money and look the cashier in the eye. I'm so manly right now, that when our eyes meet mine are practically DARING his to say something. He says nothing, states my total, and I walk out of the store dignity intact.

Until I get home. You see, I handed them to my wife, happy to be a helpful type husband. Only to get told I had brought home not pads, but adult diapers. SUPER ABSORBENT adult diapers.

I've never been sent out for those again. Ever.

[–]degumommy 8 points9 points ago

Plenty of my friends are having children right now, and most of them actually loved adult diapers immediately post-partum; no worries about... things happening when you sit funny. I think you did just fine!

[–]Bobsentme 5 points6 points ago

Yeah...wife yelled at me when I got home; then said NOTHING over the next few days. I can only imagine them being slightly more helpful.

[–]DangerFierce 5 points6 points ago

Reminds me of right after I had my son. I could barely walk because, childbirth being the super fucking ample opportunity for infection that it is, I had a crazy UTI. (Oh, also because I'd just expelled an almost 10-lb sack of human from my vagina--my husband said "It looked like WWII down there") ANYWAY, sent my husband to the store for some pads, and he came back with these teeny tiny, paper-thin little pantiliners. Not even close to what I needed. It was analogous to trying to absorb the flow of Niagra Falls with a postage stamp. I sighed and shoved a bath towel in my pants and waited for him to return from WalMart with my salvation.

[–]danaofdoom 7 points8 points ago

Woah woah woah, are you telling me that women bleed after giving birth? Like worse than they would with a normal period?

That's it, I'm adopting...

[–]jenandthemisfits 4 points5 points ago

Think, baseball sized clots. Yep.

[–]danaofdoom 4 points5 points ago

Dear god. Okay, getting my tubes tied tomorrow...

[–]MuxBoy 4 points5 points ago

I'm a guy and I'm getting mine tied also!

[–]Bobsentme 0 points1 point ago

Father of 3. Mine were cut, tied, and burned. I know, because I was entirely awake to see everything, including a small mushroom cloud coming from my junk. Twice.

[–]MuxBoy 1 point2 points ago

I've been told the smell is awful

[–]JimmyKeepCool 1 point2 points ago

I've never been so happy to be infertile.

[–]fazzah -1 points0 points ago

Downvoted you for being a fuckin pussy. It's nature, ffs... If it makes you feel any better, you were once neck-deep in your mothers vagina. And had her juices all over your face and INSIDE your mouth. That's how this works...

[–]swagglebutt 1 point2 points ago

we figure it out in the middle of a period because we buy them just about monthly, so we know exactly what we want :)

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

um... you are in a position to say no. you say "no".

[–]ruination77 2 points3 points ago

I swear to god I have those exact pants in right now.

[–]devosdk 2 points3 points ago

Really? I know exactly what kind my wife uses because I'm not an idiot.

[–]baconmeupscotty 9 points10 points ago

I never understood this situation; I always just buy my products when I am getting low since my period inevitably comes and it's not like they are going to expire. Plus what about having a period stops you from being able to run to the store?

[–]gnome_champion 9 points10 points ago

I understand your first part, and I do that sometimes too, but I think it's because of the cramps and just the "'meh" feeling most women get when they're on their period is what stops them from going to the store. I know that whenever I'm on my lady days I really do not want to get up or do anything. If someone else can and will go to the store for me, hellz yes bitches.

[–]danaofdoom 1 point2 points ago

Ugh, I wish I were as organized as you. I never think about it unless the need is imminent. And then, on occasion, I get these monster periods where I can't even move and I just want to throw up and die...

[–]mtled 0 points1 point ago

Sisters or daughters that use up the last of your things and neither tell you nor replace them. I took to locking my pads and tampons in my room as a teen because my sister was a selfish twat and i had to send dad to the store once while I waited on the toilet...

[–]HandBananaHammock -4 points-3 points ago

Nothing . My wife gets Clint Eastwood and shes not prepared shell just have to snail trail her ass to wal mart and alleviate the situation.

[–]BigBassBone 3 points4 points ago

Why wouldn't you help your wife out?! Don't be a douche.

[–]HandBananaHammock 0 points1 point ago

It's her responsibility.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXW9w17Tf0A

[–]BigBassBone 0 points1 point ago

Jesus.

[–]HandBananaHammock 0 points1 point ago

I imagine it sucks being married to me. Poor, poor woman.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Thank you! YES.

[–]jimbolauski 7 points8 points ago

Just come back with cotton balls and dental floss, she'll never ask you to go again.

[–]fumanchuprimus[S] 4 points5 points ago

I prefer the eenie meenie miney moe technique.

[–]DJAshian 1 point2 points ago

There's a place for these. It's r/HIFW.

Edit: dammit...

[–]Frizkie 3 points4 points ago

How I when feel?

[–]noturtypicalredditor 0 points1 point ago

This is why you take a picture of the packaging with your husbands' phone...easy. That's what I did the one time I was too sick to go to the store myself to get feminine hygiene products.

[–]swagglebutt 1 point2 points ago

My favorite thing was in an episode of 7th Heaven I saw (yes, I used to watch that) when the youngest daughter got her first period and was embarrassed so she didn't tell anyone. Instead of buying the product that she'd undoubtedly grown up seeing under the sink/in the closet, she just grabbed the first thing she saw and went with it. And of course, the cashier at the store knew her and her whole family and the type of product her mom usually buys.

[–]jessicahonig 2 points3 points ago

Female here. I don't need my boyfriend to me feminine products, don't see why anyone else does.

[–]butt2face 4 points5 points ago

I know that feels.. Took me a while to figure out what's the difference between thin/think pads or a pantie liner...

[–]Heilo_Elephant 0 points1 point ago

If at all possible, have your wife take a picture of what she wants and text it to you. Then you know exactly what to get! Try grabbing a hand held basket to put them in and self check out - that's what they're made for :) If someone sees you, don't worry. Girls will think you're awesome and guys will be jealous that you have a wife/girlfriend!!

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

or everyone will think you're pussywhipped for buying them and wonder why your gf/wife didn't get her lazy butt out of bed to go get them or PLAN AHEAD

[–]danaofdoom 1 point2 points ago

Aw, but you're an awesome husband for doing it for her. :)

[–]Culturalculdesac 1 point2 points ago

Just went on a beach vacation. Was handed a grocery list to stock the condo. First item on list: tampons.

Headline flashed in my mind:

"Tourist's hopes dampened by Red Tide."

Feelsbadman.jpg

[–]Darknezz19 0 points1 point ago

they are either just acting weird or using it for bj fodder latter.

[–]deadendcruiser 0 points1 point ago

When a guy wants to suddenly earn his red wings, he will go to CVS while he tells the girl to get nekkid.

[–]ZealousSlayer 1 point2 points ago

I always get worried other people will think I need them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

why is it so hard to plan ahead? you know it's going to come every month, save for if disaster strikes. might as well buy in bulk!

[–]zymmetrix 0 points1 point ago

I'm right there with you bro. My saving grace is that my wife takes photos on her phone and sends them to me, so I know what I'm looking for.

[–]triplaur 0 points1 point ago

Always get the ones with the wings

[–]necromundus 0 points1 point ago

Don't ever buy the "heavy flow" products when she only needs regular ones. For some reason this is the wrong thing to do. Turns out too much absorbancy is a bad thing.

[–]spiffy20 0 points1 point ago

I work at a local pharmacy. Whenever I see a man alone, standing by the tampon aisle, they would stand there for a good hour just looking at the different kinds. Eventually they would get out their phones and say "honey...I have no idea what to get.." It cracks me up every time.

[–]SammyLocked 0 points1 point ago

Anytime I go to get tampons for my gf:

"Babe can you get me some tampons from the store?"

"Sure."

look down isle

"Uhh...what kind?"

"The regular ones."

".....uhhhh. Ok...what the fuck is a pearl?"

[–]SaladSlayer 0 points1 point ago

I always just ask "what is it you want?" then... i get it. I've onlyhad to ask once now, inever let the stock of tampons and pads get lower ghan half a box. the way i see it if she dosent have to ask then i dont have to go out again and can stay home eith her

[–]bone_it 0 points1 point ago

What the fuck reddit?

[–]xMandaPandax 1 point2 points ago

I really don't see what is so complicated about feminine products :P

[–]s0butterfly 0 points1 point ago

Ahahaaha

[–]gravytown 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who finds it very weird that women ask men to get their feminine products for them? I cannot imagine asking a man to get me a box of tampons. They would either get the wrong ones or get lost in the tampons aisle for days, curled up in a ball crying.

[–]jaekido 0 points1 point ago

I have never had a problem buying feminine products for my wife. Being ashamed or afraid is just ignorant. If you're worried about getting the wrong thing, write it down. You're not ashamed or afraid to buy toilet paper, are you?

[–]Schreber 0 points1 point ago

It's not rocket science, if you're uncertain write down the exact details of the product(s) and/or take pictures (if she keeps the containers) and just use those to "figure out" what you're doing [wrong].

[–]mfter 0 points1 point ago

If you think there is construction involved in feminine hygiene, you obviously have no idea. Good luck building that period dam!

[–]dmslofdsgst 1 point2 points ago

When there's communists in my fun house my boyfriend constantly offers me chocolate and weed, with the occasional belly or back rub. He's offered multiple times to get me girl stuff, but I wont let him do it... I'm such a lucky lady.

[–]BigBassBone 1 point2 points ago

I ask my fiancée what brand and which specific box to get. It's not that hard.

[–]HappyGrandPappy 0 points1 point ago

I commend whoever was brave enough to try to get pants on a donkey. There's a high risk of getting an ultra donkey-kick to the face by doing that.

[–]Noams_daughter -2 points-1 points ago

i've never had to ask someone to get me feminine hygiene products and i had hellish periods. i guess it could happen after just giving birth but even then there's usually a grandma or grandma-in law around to do that plus the hospital has always sent me home with enough to last till i could go to the store myself.

[–]DCLID -4 points-3 points ago

Dude, it's really REALLY awkward when you're girlfriend asks you to buy her underwear while in high school. To be honest, I'm too generous towards her...

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