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all 83 comments

[–]BadAtThisGame 25 points26 points ago

That's me. Except with cake. Or cake-like foods. Or even foods that remind me of cake.

[–]MoreBadIdeas 19 points20 points ago

Or any food really. I'm beginning to think that even things that remotely resemble food are adding calories just by their proximity to my person.

[–]BadAtThisGame 10 points11 points ago

You know what jacked me up? The discovery of Ben and Jerry's Red Velvet Cake ice cream. Life=complete. Well, aside from finding a woman whose b.s. I can tolerate and vice versa, but one step at a time.

[–]MoreBadIdeas 6 points7 points ago

That flavor is my fucking Kryptonite...

[–]BadAtThisGame 3 points4 points ago

Had my first pint a couple of weeks back. I'm now hooked, and I have a pint once a week. So yeah, I understand. It's got real chunks of CAKE in it FFS. Magic.

[–]Trevelayan 0 points1 point ago

Portal must have been rough on you, huh?

[–]BadAtThisGame 0 points1 point ago

No cake+lie= rage. I happily mutilated that A.I. wench for her categorical inaccuracies.

[–]JBFRESHSKILLS 10 points11 points ago

This is mine. I feel your pain.

[–]thatoneagain 4 points5 points ago

My boyfriend has about 50lbs of beer weight to lose. :<

[–]aidanf123 13 points14 points ago

You'll lose most of that weight once you go to the toilet.

[–]FFEMT39 14 points15 points ago

I have yet to eat taco bell and not end up pissing out of my ass.

[–]Photovoltaic 10 points11 points ago

I have yet to eat taco bell and end up pissing out of my ass.

I HAVE THE IRON COLON!

[–]Astrocricket 2 points3 points ago

I once ate Taco Bell on a track trip home. I am quite certain my duodenum turned into a portal, through which all the methane of all the parallel universes violently poured into my intestines.

[–]heracleides 2 points3 points ago

Seems to be a common occurrence. Thanks for sharing your version.

[–]frazier6567 5 points6 points ago

If you count calories or works!

[–]VAGINA_BLADES 9 points10 points ago

I mix the fire sauce in with the nacho cheese, and dip my motherfucking crunchwrap supreme in that shit.

[–]VictorClark 1 point2 points ago

[–]Jbota 1 point2 points ago

The thing about Taco Bell, at least for me, is that you eat 1 lbs of food and shit 2 pounds of chemical warfare

[–]HilarityEnsuez 0 points1 point ago

I read that as 'chemical welfare'

[–]ZumaZoom 6 points7 points ago

Ugh, you're not even that fat.

[–]Trinitykill 22 points23 points ago

Nahh, if you look real close at the edges, you can see, it's not a real person.

[–]AndSoItWasWritten 2 points3 points ago

Are you trying to say this is a cartoon?

[–]CharioteerOut 0 points1 point ago

I.. I don't follow.

[–]tenehemia 5 points6 points ago

Taco Bell is delicious.

[–]fearstrikesout 0 points1 point ago

if you can't stop yourself from eating taco bell, you have much bigger problems than just being a fatty.

[–]stniesen 9 points10 points ago

Guess what? Buy some food at this little thing called the grocery store instead of eating out somewhere shitty like Taco Bell or McDonald's.

Buy skinless chicken breasts, brown rice, whole wheat bread, peanut butter, fruits & vegetables, peppers, and maybe some steak or lean burger. That will start you off well.

One of my favorite quotes you should know, "The key to getting ahead is getting started."

[–]Raeki 2 points3 points ago

My solution is to run five miles then eat whatever the fuck I want.

[–]HeyJewed 5 points6 points ago

There is also something called "portion control"!

You can become overweight by overeating at home too.

Obviously, eating healthier food is the best option, but people can't just blame their weight on the places they choose to eat; they need to make better choices when they get there!

When I was in nursing school, our dietetics teacher showed us a movie called "Portion Size Me" where two students were only allowed to eat fast food for a month, but had to stay within their assigned caloric intake every day. They both lowered their body fat, cholesterol, and blood pressure over that month.

[–]Jiles-Mcfrafon 1 point2 points ago

But eating at home is cheaper!

[–]Lucavious -3 points-2 points ago

"Portion control" is a fairly ignorant mindset in my experience. You're eating a lot of food for a reason, and usually that reason is beyond something you can get over with a little bit of willpower.

For me I realized carbohydrates seem to affect me more than other people. They make me hungry even when my stomach is full. I could eat 12 crunchy tacos and want more an hour later. Completely insatiable.

I started following /r/keto some time ago earlier this year. My appetite is like night and day. I no longer feel hungry ever, and sometimes have to remind myself just to eat something in a day.

Results will vary, but I now believe people who over eat really need to address why they do before they can stop. For me it was all the junk.

[–]horrorfetish 0 points1 point ago

I'm replying to you so that anyone thinking keto is a good idea from your comment will research first.

Ketogenic diets are built to imitate starvation, and are used in extreme cases of epilepsy to help prevent seizures. They are NOT good quick fix diets if you are overweight. They are not good diets period, and will make you very sick, especially doing it long term.

Both Keto diets and Paleo diets are recent fads that are very nervewracking for me. Your body NEEDS carbohydrates. Energy comes from complex carbohydrates, and helps your body keep moving every day. Yes, a high amount of carbs is very bad for you, and it comes in all sorts of forms- breads and cereals are of course the most common. The problem with these diets isn't just cutting out carbs completely, but also the encouragement to eat as much meat as you like; often this is red meat. Red meat, aside from junk food, is the WORST THING YOU CAN EAT, especially when you are eating too much of it. Fish is far better for you, but even that, with the rising levels of mercury can be bad. Protein can be obtained not just through meat, but through beans, chickpeas, soy meats as well. Just because you aren't vegetarian doesn't mean you can't use commonly used protein subs in veg diets for your own protein.

Instead of cutting it out completely, you need to balance your diet and eat portion controlled meals. No, it isn't that easy. You might be of the lucky pool of genetics that working out isn't necessary, but in order to stay at a healthy weight AND in shape, exercising is key. Without a healthy, balanced diet and exercise, you'll end up just gaining all the weight back as soon as you stray from your diet. If you're eating a balanced diet, and exercising.... having pizza once in awhile isn't going to kill you, or pie, or cake. It's about moderation.

Please don't give me bullshit (pardon the language) about portion control being an ignorant mindset. Portion control is what is used to help people from 600 pounds drop weight till they are healthy. That's what stomach stapling is. Portion control IS however, a choice you make for YOURSELF. Like any other personal choice, nobody can convince you that you want to be healthy, or that you want to lose weight. I made the choice for myself after years of hovering around the 220 pound line (for reference, I am a 5'4" woman), that I had to take it into my own hands. I cut out sweets, chips, and soda, except for a small treat on the weekend (that right there is called moderation), and not even every weekend. My family tends to order out every week, but I have changed my style to once a month, unless it's a flatbread sandwich from subway. I started cooking more meals myself, and experimenting with foods, to keep me away from the amount of bread I was eating. I'll note here that I am vegetarian, and my problem in a big way was replacing meat with bread. I've changed that and replaced meat with soy substitutes and veggies/legumes that have a good amount of protein in them instead.

I've seen people drop pounds like flies in ketogenic diets, however they're not doing it because they are healthy. They are doing it because they are sick. Once the fad goes past, or once they get sick enough that they have to stop, they are going to gain all that weight back by stepping out of the diet. As I told my friend; If you have to test your urine to make sure you're doing it right, you're doing it wrong already.

So, TL;DR; Keto mimics starvation and is used as an extreme treatment for epilepsy, it is not healthy. The only way to lose weight and keep it off (while remaining fit and healthy) is to live a healthy life style with a balanced diet (veg or non veg, it's possible), and exercise every day. Doesn't have to be a lot, a little bit on a treadmill, weights, or even crunches, jumpingjacks, etc... Otherwise once your fad diet blows over or you get too sick to continue, you'll be in the same spot. Consult a dietitian if you are not sure about what you should be eating, and if you're interested in becoming vegetarian, be aware of how to get your protein and iron from non-meat sources.

[–]Lucavious 0 points1 point ago

Do you have any proof that your body needs carbohydrates? Because I've read several studies (posted on /r/keto, the link I posted once before) where the results were inconclusive at best. There is no scientific evidence I have seen that a person would be less healthy on a restricted carb diet over the long term. The people in that community have been doing that "fad diet" for years.

Your scare tactics are ridiculous.

[–]Lucavious 0 points1 point ago

Atkins isn't dangerous either. None of the sites you listed are actual research, they're just random people spouting the same nonsense you are. You have been lied to. The body performs optimally with some carbohydrates, however that amount is grossly exaggerated. You're fine with as little as 10-15g per day.

[–]horrorfetish 0 points1 point ago

Been lied to by my doctors, right. And yes, atkins is. It leads to heart disease, clogged arteries... but like I've said, I can't force someone to be healthy. You have to make that decision yourself.

[–]studmuffffffin 1 point2 points ago

Fuck you and your sensible advice.

[–]stniesen 2 points3 points ago

Sorry.

[–]Sajam 3 points4 points ago

Man, those doritos tacos are just ridiculous.

I recently tried them for the first time and fell in love.

[–]VAGINA_BLADES 2 points3 points ago

I'll start by saying I love them too, but, and correct me if you think I'm wrong, it's just a normal taco shell with Doritos cheese-powder right? The corn of the taco itself tastes totally different from the corn in Doritos chips to me.

Now I know there were reasons for this but I still couldn't help but be a little disappointed and now I'm left wondering what the world would be like if I could get a real doritos taco.

Now that I think about it, I'm gonna buy a bunch of regular tacos, and empty the contents onto a pile of spicier nacho doritos. Should pretty much make my life.

[–]Corinfosho[S] 1 point2 points ago

You fucking genius.

[–]VAGINA_BLADES 1 point2 points ago

I'll report back with my findings.

[–]Photovoltaic 0 points1 point ago

I was thinking you could get doritos and grind them into a flour. Then use THAT to make a taco shell.

That is a real doritos taco! AND you can make it with any type of doritos.

Taco dorito taco shells? WHY THE HELL NOT

[–]Corinfosho[S] 0 points1 point ago

That is my weakness.

[–]cwill0122 0 points1 point ago

This comic is actually very well drawn. Does anyone know the source?

[–]njayhuang 2 points3 points ago

The original was by Adri Tibbs. Tumblr, DA.

[–]NikkiNewport 1 point2 points ago

You too?! I'm not alone!

[–]TwoLegsJoe 0 points1 point ago

Willpower man! You can do it! You gotta believe...

[–]MaximumUltra 1 point2 points ago

You'll lose weight when you're the one punching Taco Bell.

Good luck.

[–]phongku 0 points1 point ago

Who is the artist?

[–]Pinto15 0 points1 point ago

Taco Bell reopened in my town Thursday, reddit begins taco bells posts, this is no coincidence!

[–]AlexWilliamRoss 0 points1 point ago

Be like oooohh ahhhhh

[–]thermalcry 0 points1 point ago

Try the cantina bell menu. until q2 2013 that is when the doritos locos cool ranch launches.

[–]namrettik 0 points1 point ago

I fucking love the cantina food.

[–]Shortest_Giraffe 0 points1 point ago

Well I was going to the store... but taco bell is good too

[–]venividivixi -1 points0 points ago

r/keto

[–]stormageddon007 1 point2 points ago

When you play the game of tacos you win or you get a grande meal.

[–]donkeythong64 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who thinks that the girl in the cartoon really doesn't need to lose weight?

[–]hugocrepax -1 points0 points ago

Taco Bell?! Seriously? Since it comes out of your ass in the pretty much the same mud-like form it was when you put in your mouth, shouldn't you lose weight by getting stomach sick?

[–]pepg 0 points1 point ago

Learn how to cook?

[–]HilarityEnsuez 0 points1 point ago

I moved to the Los Angeles area from out of state and can't recall seeing one Taco Bell. I know it's a flooded 'Taco Market', but still, how am I supposed to satisfy my craving for a volcano taco, a cheesy gordita crunch and an oversized cup of ice-cold Mountain Dew? EDIT: I just finished reading the article and watching the clip. Do not want cause sand.

[–]Voixmortelle 0 points1 point ago

There's this ~25 lady who comes through my drive-thru three or four times a week and orders one cheesy roll-up and a small water. That's it. Every time. $1.06. I just wonder why she even thinks it's worth stopping at Taco Bell for that. But on the other hand, she is super skinny.

[–]Photovoltaic 1 point2 points ago

I sometimes go to taco bell and get a single doritos taco. 170 calories. It's a small guilty pleasure.

Once in awhile (re: when I didn't have time to go shopping) I'll get 2 or 3 cause my normal lunch was non-existant.

[–]civilian11214 -1 points0 points ago

Guna? Really? Are you that stupid or just that lazy?

[–]CptOblivion 0 points1 point ago

You're allowed to split text across two lines, you know.

[–]__eMpTy__ 0 points1 point ago

Cheesy gorditas with Dorito Taco shells will be the death of me. Mmmm... delicious death.

[–]dopestep 0 points1 point ago

you can make healthier tacos that taste better at home... dont blame taco bell for existing.

[–]awrobot 0 points1 point ago

... Can I just say that I work at a donut shop? ;__; my liiiife.

[–]4BDN 0 points1 point ago

This person obviously has an eating disorder if they feel they need to lose weight when they are already thin.

[–]bb_man94 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one around here that can eat lower grade Mexican "food" without having digestive stress?

[–]neotropic9 0 points1 point ago

Eating Taco Bell is perfectly consistent with losing weight. As long as you are working out smart.

[–]AllYourBase3 0 points1 point ago

OP is fat

[–]OHAI_DERE 0 points1 point ago

Join the club. Taco Bell is apparently irresistible. Ask my stomach. It'll tell you all about it.

[–]ClementineClemenza 0 points1 point ago

Every. Fucking. Day.

[–]riptaway -1 points0 points ago

Wow, that's pretty pathetic

[–]Father_of_God 1 point2 points ago

i coulden't help but notice she was skinny alredy.

[–]sweatpantsromance 0 points1 point ago

This is hilarious - where is this comic from? I want more.

[–]sweatpantsromance 0 points1 point ago

Thank you!

[–]echoNovemberNine 0 points1 point ago

Maybe this will help with your fight against Taco Bell: Sand meat

[–]pepg 0 points1 point ago

reddit: loves controversial information about major corporations. unless its people trying to convince them to be healthy.

[–]crazypixeltoast -1 points0 points ago

Gonna*

[–]LeastServant -1 points0 points ago

You couldn't lose any actual weight in a day anyway...