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1700
1701

Report for booty (imgur.com)

submitted ago by [deleted]

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[–]erkose 277 points278 points ago

LOL Baggage Claim

[–]Aithos 28 points29 points ago

Finished with one duty, time for another...

[–]GeorgeForemanGrillz 7 points8 points ago

badum tish

[–]jaynoj 30 points31 points ago

A. Neal here, where's the back of the line?

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 4 points5 points ago

Its 10 deep.....all dudes. You sure you want to.be in the back.of the line?

[–]762headache 4 points5 points ago

Better than the middle?

[–]jaynoj 1 point2 points ago

I'm an Englishman, what more needs to be said?

[–]w00df00t 219 points220 points ago

That would have been awesome... I just came home to kiss a wife whose mouth tasted like other dudes' dicks.

Edit: To clarify, I did a 5 year contract in the Marines (got out in February) with two overseas tours.

[–]bizarre-potato 50 points51 points ago

37 dicks...

[–]m4n715 40 points41 points ago

...in a row?!

[–]missjolie 35 points36 points ago

Try not to suck any more dicks on the way through the parking lot!

[–]kkkilla 13 points14 points ago

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

[–]FUCKING_EVERYTHING 6 points7 points ago

Hey.. Hey! You! Come back here!

[–]w00df00t 2 points3 points ago

I wasn't even the last one, like Dante fortunately was.

[–]ANTI_D3_NECKBEARD 51 points52 points ago

You know what other dudes' dicks taste like?

[–]The_Law_of_Pizza 75 points76 points ago

What else is there to do in the desert?

[–]SoSp 45 points46 points ago

ouch... thanks for your service.

[–]Badgermeister 36 points37 points ago

In the Navyyyyy

[–]veruus 2 points3 points ago

Just Department of the Navy. The Men's Department.

[–]count757 0 points1 point ago

Cuz it's all dudes.

[–]Counterkulture 3 points4 points ago

He does now.

[–]w00df00t 0 points1 point ago

Some shit in life you just get to find out the hard way.

[–]amputeenager 87 points88 points ago

ouch...thanks for your service.

[–]MrsLCPLMitchell 10 points11 points ago

:( I'm sorry. That shit always pisses me off.

[–]w00df00t 7 points8 points ago

It only really pisses me off when I hear people justify it. I understand that it happens, and it happens a lot, but it's absolutely infuriating to hear how some people think it's a perfectly ok thing to do.

[–]MrsLCPLMitchell 7 points8 points ago

I don't think it "just happens" honestly. I think you have to put yourself in the position for things to happen whether it's a male or female. For instance, one of the marines my husband was on ship with started talking to me and he got kind of...weird so I told my husband and stopped talking to him. I married him knowing there were going to be extended periods where I was lonely and alone. If you can't handle it, sex with other people isn't how to deal with it.

[–]w00df00t 3 points4 points ago

You are one of a very, VERY small minority. Thank you.

[–]MrsLCPLMitchell 1 point2 points ago

I keep hearing that. It makes me sad, too, but thank you. I appreciate it. :)

[–]longhornmd 5 points6 points ago

Sorry man. Thanks for your unwavering dedication and hard work

[–]cumfarts 9 points10 points ago

all you know about him is that his wife sucked a bunch of dicks

[–]longhornmd 4 points5 points ago

ya but I like to see the good in people and assume that he served in the military like his post implied.

[–]kampfy3 6 points7 points ago

I didn't realize there were no shitty people in the military.

[–]longhornmd 6 points7 points ago

Not saying that in the least. He can be terrible person and I don't have to respect him as a person, but I thanked him in my original reply for what I do respect him for (assuming he is in the military) which is risking his life.

I'm sorry if that makes me naive, but it is absolutely tiring to see the pessimism in the world even though it is rightfully deserved.

[–]theartemisfowl 3 points4 points ago

righteous redditor. This person just showed you that reddit is full of people ready to believe in good..

Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they get a good look at the real w00tf00d

[–]w00df00t 2 points3 points ago

*w00df00t. It's a play on my Dutch heritage. w00t f00d sounds like some hellish concoction of pizza, cheetohs, and caffeine pills.

[–]cumfarts -2 points-1 points ago

well you are talking about a guy who signed up to be a paid killer

[–]cumfarts -1 points0 points ago

he still might be a lazy asshole for all you know

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

atleast it wasnt one of your friends.

[–]reagan2016 1 point2 points ago

So you already knew what dicks tasted like?

[–]DarkKobold -2 points-1 points ago

Uh... story?

[–]bricardo 13 points14 points ago

His girlfriend/wife cheated on him. He got angry. They broke up.

[–]w00df00t 6 points7 points ago

And since Colorado is a no-fault state, she got the car I paid off and half my savings account. Ah, to be in love again...

[–]RizzoFromDigg 0 points1 point ago

That's what prenups are for...

[–]Streamwave 1 point2 points ago

A patch for a broken system?

[–]w00df00t 1 point2 points ago

I didn't have anything when we entered the marriage, it was all stuff I paid for while we were together.

[–]RizzoFromDigg 1 point2 points ago

But could you prove infidelity? Presumably you could then have protected yourself from her getting anything. IANAL, though, so I can't say for sure.

It seems if you could prove she cheated on you and you had a prenup, you could have protected your money and possessions even those you accumulated over the course of the marriage.

[–]w00df00t 1 point2 points ago

Possibly, but there's also the part where you typically marry someone counting on them not being a whore. I've come to learn that marriage is essentially just betting someone half your shit that you'll love each other forever.

[–]RizzoFromDigg 1 point2 points ago

Were you in the military before or after you got married?

I don't mean to be stereotypical, but this seems to happen a lot. And yeah, you're betting half your stuff on the marriage succeeding. Which I would say is generally a bad move, and in your situation, the deck was stacked against you.

[–]w00df00t 1 point2 points ago

Stupidly enough, got married about a year after I'd been in. I knew her for quite a while before though.

[–]w00df00t 1 point2 points ago

Went on deployment, came home, found out she sucked other dudes' dicks whilst away.

[–]renasissanceman6 74 points75 points ago

A pic for the grandkids to cringe over.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Oregonja 0 points1 point ago

Wincest!

[–]throwaway7418 46 points47 points ago

umm...something about a foxhole...

I'm too tired this morning. Someone else make the innuendo.

[–]schattenteufel 22 points23 points ago

Something something major woodie, something something private parts. I dunno.

[–]YourPantsAreSagan 4 points5 points ago

In your endo.

[–]Pxzib -5 points-4 points ago

Dig or die? No...?

[–]stormtrooper775 35 points36 points ago

Time for some PT....

Down...

UP

Down...

UP

[–]Flavor_Enhanced 40 points41 points ago

Thought it said "Anal report for booty."

[–]LKillie 34 points35 points ago

Saw this on Tumblr. She's a really nice lady!

EDIT: Here's the tumblr! http://misses-neal.tumblr.com/

[–]LKillie 3 points4 points ago

Why would I get down votes for seeing a picture somewhere else, and mentioning that someone is nice? Uhh..

[–]ImOnAWalkieTalkie 31 points32 points ago

Because most redditors aren't as smart as they think they are and they're frequently rude, hypocritical little shits to boot.

[–]lupe2012 8 points9 points ago

Welcome to Reddit where truth doesn't really matter

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]LKillie -1 points0 points ago

Now I did. :)

[–]jfjjfjff -3 points-2 points ago

can someone weed through this shit and just deliver some pics? ty in advance.

[–]uri_76 22 points23 points ago

Classy gal

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

*Classy lassy

[–]cahill12 0 points1 point ago

You mean witty? What does class have to do with this sign. She's completely covered as well....if she was in revealing clothing then I think this would be more suggestive. Haven't you have heard the common military command 'report for duty?' Because if you have then you would understand it's simply a play on words. I can't understand why people don't have a sense of humor anymore. But if you have never experienced something like this, a military homecoming like I have, then you can't even begin to understand. I'm sure this sign gave many people a smile...something everyone would need after being separated for many, many months. And by the looks of this photo, the patch on that soldier's arm represents his deployment to Afghanistan. The only thing I get from this is- welcome home soldier and thank God he made it home safely!

[–]ImOnAWalkieTalkie -1 points0 points ago

Is this meant literally or sarcastically?

[–]seckatary -1 points0 points ago

I'm guessing sarcastically. It is, after all, an airport. I'm pretty sure they allow kids in those nowadays.

[–]topdawg312 10 points11 points ago

will somebody think of the children!!

[–]ImOnAWalkieTalkie 0 points1 point ago

That's what I thought, which is why I downvoted him, what a stupid condescending little prick.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]alexander_karas 40 points41 points ago

    That's funny, I don't see any booty, just a skinny-ass white girl.

    [–]EndEuphoria 18 points19 points ago

    I think her target audience agreed with her 100%.

    [–]PublicAccessNYC 24 points25 points ago

    Sad but true. She's pretty anyways.

    [–]oyofmidworld 3 points4 points ago

    Just because she doesn't have an ass like a shelf doesn't mean she's got no donk.

    [–]alexander_karas 0 points1 point ago

    Yes it does. Donk is large by definition.

    [–]fridista -1 points0 points ago

    She's wearing clothing, of course you can't see her body.

    [–]alexander_karas 0 points1 point ago

    Even if she wasn't her ass would still be flat as a pancake.

    [–]fridista 1 point2 points ago

    But... you don't actually know that. It's covered up in a long skirt.

    [–]alexander_karas 0 points1 point ago

    It doesn't pop.

    [–]Azr43L 30 points31 points ago

    Looks like he answered the

    puts on shades

    Call of Booty.

    [–]pjpjr6 58 points59 points ago

    ugh.

    [–]dauntlessmath 9 points10 points ago

    YYYYYEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

    FTFY

    [–]SofaCommander 7 points8 points ago

    Yep, that was the pun.

    [–]stortz 2 points3 points ago

    oh it's that joke again!

    [–]LettersFromTheSky -2 points-1 points ago

    He should get a medal of honor for that.

    [–]ObeseSnake 0 points1 point ago

    What's a name for a pirate's buried treasure?

    [–]xSPYXEx 3 points4 points ago

    Buried treasure.

    [–]OverMachoGrande 1 point2 points ago

    Oak Island?

    [–]PilotInspektor 2 points3 points ago

    classy

    [–]Evil_One 2 points3 points ago

    She has a bad case of nassatall.

    [–]kcinaz 2 points3 points ago

    I like the way she thinks!

    [–]TEABAGKING 2 points3 points ago

    Cute photo. When I got back from iraq there were only 12 spouses waiting for their S/O. And they were all staff NCOs and officers. Fuck that shit was depressing. Luckily it was Okinawa Japan and prostitution is legal.

    [–]aleigh80 -1 points0 points ago

    LOL his unit is the nicknamed the bloody butt hole! Oh man this made it just that much better!

    [–]squeakyneb 1 point2 points ago

    I'm not sure where you got that from...

    [–]aleigh80 3 points4 points ago

    His arm patch, the Ohio state flag, etc. He's an Ohio National Guardsman. It is just a nickname.

    [–]squeakyneb 0 points1 point ago

    That big black dot? Righto then :)

    [–]ThMick 7 points8 points ago

    Arm patch. A lot of units get nicknames from what the patches look like, usually with a disparaging element... some of the ones I remember were the 101st Puking Chickens (their patch is an eagle's head in profile with it's beak open and tongue protruding; their "real" nickname is the screamin' eagles) The "Eight up" infantry (the numeral 8 with an arrow superimposed behind it- "Ate Up" is a military term for stupid or screwed up, short for "Ate up with the dumb ass") The "Tilted Shithouse" of the 1st Corps Support Command (COSCOM is a unit that provides logistics and support materials {including latrines} , and their patch is a circle with an arrow pointing in towards it's center, so that it appears to be the silhouette of an old fashioned outhouse) The 3rd Infantry Division patch is often called the busted T.V. or busted monitor because it's diagonal stripes look like the stripes that used to appear on CRT televisions when the tracking went out. There's a lot more.

    [–]squeakyneb 0 points1 point ago

    Heh, that's funny. I like that sort of military humour.

    [–]Harmon1986 1 point2 points ago

    Possibly from his Arm, or maybe he knows the guy?

    [–]squeakyneb 0 points1 point ago

    Yeah, I guessed the arm patches but I seriously can't read anything on there.

    [–]Harmon1986 2 points3 points ago

    It wouldn't say the nickname, he'd just recognize it and know the nickname.

    [–]squeakyneb 0 points1 point ago

    Well yeah, but I was hoping for a unit name I could google that would turn up some info.

    [–]horribledad 0 points1 point ago

    It isn't like unit patches are just the same symbol and text indicating the unit.

    [–]squeakyneb 0 points1 point ago

    What?

    [–]VidenTheColdOne 0 points1 point ago

    A. Neal... is that supposed to be what they'll be doing, or is his name? A. Neal. Either way it works on so many levels.

    [–]omni_presents 0 points1 point ago

    any neal?

    [–]WIDE_OPEN_BEAVERS 0 points1 point ago

    Any Neal will do.

    [–]wigglewigglewiggles -1 points0 points ago

    I read "Anal, report for booty"

    [–]naomisparks -1 points0 points ago

    she's a keeper!!

    [–]mistermog 0 points1 point ago

    Looks like he's going to get some aneal

    [–]bodford 0 points1 point ago

    She's a keeper!

    [–]wcr115 0 points1 point ago

    If only his last name was Nal.

    [–]henatron 0 points1 point ago

    wasn't long before he was standing to attention

    [–]unknown_poo 0 points1 point ago

    They both appear to be equally attractive individuals.

    [–]jewp460 0 points1 point ago

    you should post this in /r/USMilitarySO !

    [–]herpesmyderpes 0 points1 point ago

    A. NAL. Report for Booty.

    [–]Ramxi 0 points1 point ago

    Fire in the hole!!

    [–]soAsian -1 points0 points ago

    Where's da booty? She is kinda flat...

    [–]xsymbiot 0 points1 point ago

    Am i the only one who sees these "romantic" military pics and thinks.....how many dudes did she bang while he was out earning a paycheck? Serious question!

    [–]cahill12 0 points1 point ago

    not all wives/girlfriends are unfaithful and the fact that you made that assumption while looking at this photo goes to show what a bitter, ignorant shit you are

    [–]xsymbiot 1 point2 points ago

    Im not gonna deny im bitter or ignorant. But lets not deny the majority rule on this one. You have military friends with faithful spouses? Gee thats great, my experience says otherwise.

    [–]Jerhien -2 points-1 points ago

    I hate to be a jerk, but that's pretty seriously against reg's. I know, I know...

    If there weren't a uniform there, it'd be awesome though!

    [–]Amanda_Hugnkiss 7 points8 points ago

    What is against regs? Getting a kiss at the airport after a deployment? Pshh...

    [–]Jerhien -2 points-1 points ago

    It is though - PDA is against the regs, and her sign kind of makes it worse. I'm not saying it's morally or ethically wrong - just that the reg's are against it.

    Most importantly, it's an image thing. When you're in uniform you're representing the military, and they don't like us to be doing that kind of thing.

    Again, remember, it's not really a debate here - it IS against the rules to do that if you're in the service. Like you could get paperwork for that if someone decided to be a dick.

    [–]mediocretes 2 points3 points ago

    You are correct, but let's assume they didn't start fucking right there in the terminal: you'd have to be a real hardass to enforce regs over this.

    [–]Jerhien 0 points1 point ago

    Yep, you're absolutely correct.

    [–]Undercrown 2 points3 points ago

    Enforcing that rule would be PR suicide.

    [–]Jerhien -1 points0 points ago

    They enforce that rule all the time....?

    Seriously, people get counciled for PDA in uniform all the time.

    You gotta remember, you're in the military. You're in uniform. Different rules, guys.

    [–]Amanda_Hugnkiss 1 point2 points ago

    Nobody would ever, ever say anything about a guy getting a welcome home kiss after deployment. In fact, it's a tradition in the Navy that by way of raffle one specific person gets to be the "first kiss" when the ship hits the pier. Yes it's in the regs, but no, nobody is gonna give a single shit or say anything unless you're sitting there full-on making out.

    [–]Jerhien 0 points1 point ago

    I guess you guys just run into nicer people, air force folks tend to get pissy about that stuff. It's not the welcome home kiss even, it's the sign saying "hey you're home, lets go fuck" that would raise eyebrows.

    I don't even have a personal issue with it, I just thought it was odd that the guy let someone snag a pic of it and throw it up on the internet was all. Typically when you break a rule you try and keep it on the DL.

    Also, from what i understand, the marines are particularly hyper-conscious about that stuff. Last time I was on paris island they were beating their troops up about minimum body space between husbands and wives when dancing at official functions.

    If you're in, then you know, all it takes is for one higher up to get pissy about something and it ruins it for everybody. I've seen people punished for less.

    [–]SickSalamander 2 points3 points ago

    http://i.imgur.com/SEMAb.jpg

    [–]CallMeD3 0 points1 point ago

    Oh shit they're in Ohio same place as me!

    [–]apwessen 0 points1 point ago

    Hopefully there wasn't a flight delay. I would think that'd be awkward to hold that sign for a very extended period of time.

    (Though I do realize that the adrenaline and excitement of seeing your loved one probably overcomes this social anxiety.)

    [–]MrsLCPLMitchell 1 point2 points ago

    There's always a flight delay. Lol

    [–]ApolloHimself 0 points1 point ago

    That multicam looks badass

    [–]darkciti 0 points1 point ago

    Does anyone know what the flag behind them is? (right)

    [–]SofaCommander 0 points1 point ago

    Ohio

    [–]capedcrusader777 0 points1 point ago

    You know, the bootynator. Like I'll be back, but with booty.

    [–]Shit_Tsunami 0 points1 point ago

    Punchline title combo again.

    [–]ImOnAWalkieTalkie -2 points-1 points ago

    Awesome wife is awesome.

    [–][deleted] ago

    [deleted]

    [–]gloomdoom 11 points12 points ago

    Jesus Christ! You're actively blaming gays (there's no apostrophe necessary, by the way) for a photo of a man and a woman kissing? And you're dragging DADT into it?

    HOW? There's absolutely no connection with this photo and gay folks or couples or gay troops.

    I didn't submit it but it's of no more questionable quality than 90% of the other shit submitted regularly to /r/pics.

    For fuck's sake...lay off whatever it is you're ingesting right now. It's turning you into an asshole. And that's coming from a huge asshole.

    [–]on0bi 4 points5 points ago

    it's called "trolling". he's doing it very poorly.

    [–]SickSalamander 0 points1 point ago

    not so poor he couldn't catch gloomdoom

    [–]Anal_Explorer -1 points0 points ago

    That's not a troll account. He's had for the better part of a year and a half with over 22000 karma.

    [–]whoami9 3 points4 points ago

    Trolls aren't always full time trolls.

    [–]rohirrim 2 points3 points ago

    ...You know that's a picture of a straight couple, right?

    [–]cheebnrun 0 points1 point ago

    ugharr.. my cancer

    [–]RepostThatShit 0 points1 point ago

    i don't want to see pictures of straight couples kissing just the same i don't want to see pictures of gay couples kissing.

    Just close your eyes or put them out with a hot poker, then. Nobody forced you to come here and view this picture you goddamn moron.

    load more comments (3 replies)

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