this post was submitted on
1,688 points (60% like it)
5,057 up votes 3,369 down votes
shortlink:

WTF

subscribe2,232,941 readers

4,748 users here now

New Rules:

  • No screenshots (e.g. Facebook, Youtube)
  • No memes, captioned images.
  • No rage comics
  • No politics / posts with political implications - Includes Activism, Call for public outcry etc.
  • No re-hosted web comics
  • No begging for upvotes
  • No links to reddit
  • Personal information is not allowed and will be removed, repeat offenders banned
  • Links to facebook are not allowed
  • NSFW posts must be tagged or will be removed.
  • Gore and Porn are not by default WTF, consider posting the more extreme stuff to /r/spacedicks

All (& only) things that make you say WTF. The moderators of /r/WTF reserve the right to moderate posts for not being WTF and would be more appropriate in more relevant subreddits.

Thanks to licenseplate for the excellent logo & thanks to humansmartbomb for the previous logo

Please DO NOT post personal information

Such posts or comments will be removed and offenders may be banned. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

Shout Outs:

/r/weird

/r/creepy

/r/creepy_gif

/r/offbeat

/r/WTFart

/r/NSFW_WTF

/r/sfw_wtf

/r/BugWars

/r/awesome

/r/toosoon

/r/mildlyinteresting

/r/FanTheories

New: /r/tifu

New: /r/MorbidReality

Exceptions to the rules can be granted by the moderators; The moderators of /r/WTF reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

1687
1688

BRB, just off to Dover (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by kemme

all 82 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]GrandmaTITMilk 104 points105 points ago

CAPTAIN! Jack Sparrow

[–]imbignate 14 points15 points ago

...

[–]theTezuma 5 points6 points ago

Now we know why all the Rum is gone.

[–]barry4bama 2 points3 points ago

I wanna party with her

[–]timboot 9 points10 points ago

Michael Bolton approves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY

[–]ruin 5 points6 points ago

This is the tale

of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Woman so drunk

on the seven seas

[–]timboot 2 points3 points ago

The Jester of Tortuga

[–]Bubbadog12 0 points1 point ago

He's the pauper of the surf

[–]gingerwithglasses -2 points-1 points ago

Thank you, that is what I was looking for here.

[–]Seano23 9 points10 points ago

Dartmouth

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Surprised this doesn't happen more in Yarmouth

[–]kemme[S] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, i'm drunk.

[–]seldn123 2 points3 points ago

After she got arrested she actually claimed she was heading to Saint Tropez.

[–]SouthPads 0 points1 point ago

I am also drunk, Hooray!

[–]C_M_O_TDibbler 17 points18 points ago

Be aware this is an from The SUN newspaper and anything from said 'news'paper should not be relied upon as being the truth they are notorious for using over exaggeration, half truths, and flat out lies to try and sell their paper...

this is the sister paper to the news of the world who were pretty much shut down for tampering with peoples voicemail

[–]a1phanumeric 8 points9 points ago

This actually did happen - it was in the local news too. Happened ages ago, but she only got charged recently.

I was on that same boat a few weeks back for a booze cruise, so it's still going.

[Edit: typo]

[–]C_M_O_TDibbler 2 points3 points ago

I'm not arguing that it happened just that the sun will have blown it all out of proportion to make it sound worse than it really was

[–]birdmankustomz 0 points1 point ago

Worse? It sounds awesome!

[–]NotBane 1 point2 points ago

Was also in the metro.

[–]Dglsdms 0 points1 point ago

Oh, well if it was in The Metro it MUST be true. /s

[–]NotBane 0 points1 point ago

Yep, quality newspaper.

[–]Nobby_Nobbs 0 points1 point ago

Can I get a sausage inna bun? And who are you to talk about shady business practices?

[–]C_M_O_TDibbler 0 points1 point ago

Special discount for a member if the watch and that's cutting me own throat! My business practices are all above board some are even above the table

[–]theGladstonian 5 points6 points ago

This story is clearly inferior to the fact that there's FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS OFF a sofa at DFS!

[–]Jammey90 3 points4 points ago

The question is, when isn't there five hundred pounds off a sofa at DFS?

[–]theGladstonian 1 point2 points ago

The bloke who bought it full price must be kicking himself. If he'd gone in any other day in the year, it would have been a sale. Turns out he'd gone in the day after the spring sale ended, they hadn't priced everything up for the summer sale yet!

[–]Johnnybravo60025 1 point2 points ago

When your Mom's still on it.

[–]SwankyGinger 8 points9 points ago

There should be a Captain in there somewhere

[–]akppve 4 points5 points ago

she was actually on shrooms as well. probably why she thought she was jack sparrow. looks more like keith richards to me.

[–]Binznicht 0 points1 point ago

Well, Keith Richards plays the father of Captain Jack Sparrow in the movies, so kind of works out somehow.

[–]dazzled1 1 point2 points ago

Read the full article here

PS - we must be pretty local.

[–]frothy_cunt 2 points3 points ago

I bet if she made a video game reference the media would mock video games for being a bad influence. Instead they just make a joke about it because it's from a movie

[–]pikeybastard 1 point2 points ago

She obviously confused talk like a pirate day and make like a pirate day

[–]Omnamah 3 points4 points ago

Downvote for reading The Sun.

[–]itsanrnotau 2 points3 points ago

Fellow scouser, or just aware that sun is a step down from even the daily star as far as newspapers go?

[–]Omnamah 2 points3 points ago

Just a human being with the capacity for rational thought.

[–]TheChosenOne013 0 points1 point ago

Clearly this is the only option, given the situation.

[–]LUV2ChUM 0 points1 point ago

If she had a beard, straight hair and that hat, she would look like exactly like Capt. Jack Sparrow.

[–]nismo9 0 points1 point ago

At first glance i might have believed her.

[–]WheresPersephone -1 points0 points ago

Was it just me, or did everyone else read this in a british accent? IM JACK SPARROW

[–]EJR94 0 points1 point ago

You're going to have to be a bit more specific, which British accent? There are loads.

[–]DoktorSteven 0 points1 point ago

If the police didn't give her a standing ovation before cuffing her then I have no faith in the justice system any more.

[–]kemme[S] 2 points3 points ago

the woman is my idol, she deserves an OBE. anyone who gets inebriated enough to think this is a good idea and yet still be capable of stealing a ferry is a pirate in my eyes.

[–]alxxer 0 points1 point ago

No she commandeered that vessel!!!!!

[–]A7X4REVer 0 points1 point ago

Heard this on Dave and Chuck the Freak this morning, I love 89x :D

[–]RunningWithBeer 0 points1 point ago

Twist: Her name is Jaqueline Sparrow (friends call her Jack).

[–]Mogura 0 points1 point ago

Movies are corrupting our people and making them turn into pirates!

[–]hells_cowbells 0 points1 point ago

That is, without a doubt, the worst pirate I have ever seen.

[–]Hatteras11 0 points1 point ago

More Info

[–]jinhasda 0 points1 point ago

I saw that in my local newspaper in torquay, I couldn't stop laughing afterwards

[–]Gazongola 0 points1 point ago

This did actually happen in Devon, and she was very drunk. And did claim she was a pirate.

[–]MBAfail 1 point2 points ago

Can I get 50 bucks of whatever she was on that night...

[–]cazter 1 point2 points ago

I firmly believe that these are the sort of crimes people should shoot for when they have gone off the deep end. A good time for nearly everyone, laughs for us, insurance companies make up the difference.

Much better then going out and deliberately hurting people.

[–]iamsmooshyhearmerawr 0 points1 point ago

i heard about this earlier!

[–]derpthebass 0 points1 point ago

You disappoint me once again /r/wtf

[–]4fast4ward 0 points1 point ago

Whoa heard this on Kevin and Bean this morning!

[–]tonyfl0w 0 points1 point ago

Ahoy there mateys

[–]oryes 0 points1 point ago

Good, I'm glad that this happened

[–]Thefishman89 0 points1 point ago

So glad I moved to Torquay last week...

[–]theTezuma 0 points1 point ago

Now we know why all the Rum is gone.

[–]GracieAngel 0 points1 point ago

Not going to lie I can see myself doing that...

[–]Nightmareknight 0 points1 point ago

  • CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow *

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Smoke me a kipper!

[–]wijet 0 points1 point ago

I was run off a job site not more than 2 weeks ago by a half naked drunken woman with a scottish accent. She also claimed to be Jack Sparrow.

[–]YoungFoeBreaker 0 points1 point ago

To Tortuga!

[–]iamasociopath22 0 points1 point ago

There should be a captain in there somewhere.

[–]Frase 0 points1 point ago

BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE?!

[–]serpentjaguar 0 points1 point ago

Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?

[–]maRtoUK 0 points1 point ago

Awesome to see something on reddit which i first read in my local paper! :)

[–]ninjaredbeard 1 point2 points ago

Please don't buy the Sun, it is a piece of shite

[–]Ieuan1996 0 points1 point ago

It worries me how a drunk woman can easily steal a ship...

[–]clevindsouza 0 points1 point ago

My new role model

[–]DanniMcBoo -1 points0 points ago

You buy The Sun? Shame on you.

[–]kemme[S] -2 points-1 points ago

do you genuinely think i BUY newspapers? I have the internet for news, this was courtesy of a waiting room.

[–]DanniMcBoo 0 points1 point ago

Obviously some people do.

[–]TheDerpofYork -3 points-2 points ago

"Government officials say that for the health and safety of the aquatic community, all Pirates of the Caribbean films will be removed from stores across the country and Disney shall be sued a total sum of 100 Million Dollars to pay for damages and distress caused by their Movies." -Future typical ass who doesn't have their facts straight.

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 6901 on app-101 running 6d5566f.