this post was submitted on
1,612 points (57% like it)
6,216 up votes 4,604 down votes

funny

subscribe2,476,003 readers

9,571 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 281

[–]MrFeelBadButtHurt 275 points276 points ago

As the Hornets' mascot, it certainly wasn't the first time he saw shit on the basketball court.

[–]9tailsmeh 55 points56 points ago

Ayooo!

[–]ebdragon 11 points12 points ago

Hahah fuck you.

[–]jmarks7448 24 points25 points ago

[–]HorseRapeSociety 6 points7 points ago

MrFeelBadButtHurt

I am now a gooey pile of laugh.

[–]Captain_Crepe 5 points6 points ago

As a New Orleanian, this is true.

[–]a_randy_sewer 2 points3 points ago

Boomshakalaka!

[–]dinorawrr 308 points309 points ago

I just can't stop laughing

[–]Picksie 187 points188 points ago

All I hear is the "are you ready for this?" basketball anthem playing while this happens.

[–]stevo_knevo 57 points58 points ago

I lost it.

[–]TripperDay 16 points17 points ago

So did I. Actual extended LOL.

[–]colihondro 7 points8 points ago

just stopped laughing with tears in my eyes to type this

[–]stevo_knevo 5 points6 points ago

I was able to keep myself in check, silently chuckling, but I read that and heard the music, saw the sights... dear God I couldn't stop.

[–]dontforgetaboutme 10 points11 points ago

that is amazing.

[–]Zoghurt 9 points10 points ago

oh god i nearly shit myself thinking that

[–]badgarok725 4 points5 points ago

I nearly shit someone else reading that

[–]uuninja19 3 points4 points ago

Bravo, laughing all over again

[–]anangrybanana 4 points5 points ago

I don't think Hugo was ready for that.

Dun dun dun duh-duh dun dah

[–]r_runner_75 83 points84 points ago

I can't stop laughing at work. I am in tears.

[–]whowilliupvotetoday 33 points34 points ago

I am in a car with my boss as she is driving back from our business trip. I can't stop giggling in the passenger seat.

[–]PigeonBoy 65 points66 points ago

Im at a funeral. Laughing my ass off. Getting a lot of dirty looks. Oh well, RIP mom.

[–]Mein_Tarnaccount 38 points39 points ago

I'm in Irak disarming a bomb as we speak. Can't stop lau

[–]budrico_2 5 points6 points ago

Must be Apple's new plastic surgery project. The iRack!

[–]dan_au 2 points3 points ago

They're like, a full inch bigger. Revolutionary.

[–]clamdever 5 points6 points ago

I'm sitting in the potty and I keep breaking into laughs.

[–]the_one_ups_man 6 points7 points ago

I laughed so hard i had to stop reading more than once.

[–]gifafi 3 points4 points ago

I can't even breath

[–]Goodspellr 10 points11 points ago

Seriously, I can't either. It's like an allergic reaction or something... to the funniest damn thing I have ever read (well, funniest thing so far today).

[–]bryan_514 5 points6 points ago

I can't stop either. I'm crying.

[–]hellerbenjamin 9 points10 points ago

This is the funniest thing i've ever read on reddit. I would have changed my shorts and then changed schools. I hope college went better for you.

[–]envyc 2 points3 points ago

Literally brought me to tears laughing as I read this with my roommate.

[–]Bogsy 2 points3 points ago

I actually cried with laughter. My stomach still hurts from laughing.

[–]codythomashunsberger 2 points3 points ago

I'm weeping right now. I don't get to weep from laughter every day. Thanks, OP.

[–]Manholt 101 points102 points ago

"sprays all over the kids sitting in front of me" makes me picture the mascot holding the kid like a super soaker, spraying shit all over the kids.

[–]Qhapaqocha 61 points62 points ago

I was imagining this graceful arc of diarrhea, like when one of the ladies on Baywatch would flip their hair after coming up for air.

[–]boozecruisin 21 points22 points ago

this is also how I pictured it. Him coming out of the spin and the arc sweeping slightly behind his ass, like the arm of a spiral galaxy, dividing the room in half with his Pollock pooh.

[–]Qhapaqocha 12 points13 points ago

Lost it at "arm of a spiral galaxy". It's...it's beautiful.

[–]Qhapaqocha 11 points12 points ago

This. This but with doody.

[–]oathy 5 points6 points ago

I just imagined it all happening to the Blue Danube Waltz.

[–]05slvrgt 22 points23 points ago

All I can picture is a poop rainbow.

Also, can't stop laughing as if something were wrong with me. Amazing.

[–]PanderKing 3 points4 points ago

Sounds a lot more colorful than the fibonacci poop spiral I'm imagining.

[–]gregogree 18 points19 points ago

I envisioned all of this. It was like an award winning movie playing in my head. LOL black man says what the fuck ?! and starts puking.

[–]VinRayd 119 points120 points ago

Goddamn. Everyone on 4chan has some kind of traumatic story to tell. Go figure.

[–]melance 29 points30 points ago

There seems to be some correlation in that fact.

[–]soapstud 14 points15 points ago

And they all seem to deal with explosive shit.

[–]OurNameIsLegion 68 points69 points ago

>implying you believe stories on 4chan

[–]jaheiner 26 points27 points ago

I want to believe!

[–]manboat 4 points5 points ago

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact".

[–]JamersonRosenburg 3 points4 points ago

Well... once in middle school we had to run for 20 minutes and this fat kid shit himself by the end of it. We laughed about it for the next 3 days and then everyone forgot about it. The End. True Story.

[–]Inthethickofit 12 points13 points ago

Liar, at least part of that story is a lie, Clearly you didn't forget.

[–]julianf0918 3 points4 points ago

The difference between reddit and 4chan: people actually believe the BS posted here, 4chan is full of BS too, only people know that it's BS and treat it as such.

[–]Magnesus 2 points3 points ago

Well, I had similar occurence but with vomit. People quickly forgot though. At least I hoped so.

[–]nyuck 66 points67 points ago

This is the first post in funny that actually made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing.

[–]thatguywholooked 23 points24 points ago

agreed, how is this not in first place when a stupid picture of 2 people on chatroulette is?

[–]nyuck 11 points12 points ago

I usually smile at funny posts (though lately blatant re-posts have been pissing me off) but I never actually laughed out loud. I was at work when I read it and couldn't control myself. The image is just golden.

[–]underdabridge 7 points8 points ago

But... but... they offered you so MANY reaction gifs with the title "How I feel when". You heartless, humorless BASTARD!

[–]rileyhimself 32 points33 points ago

I laughed so hard that I almost shit myself.

[–]melance 26 points27 points ago

Careful that you don't get picked up by a sports team's mascot.

[–]AeroNalex 58 points59 points ago

Can we get IAmA: The kid who shit on Hugo the Hornet?

[–]SeniorDiscount 22 points23 points ago

I'd like to hear what HtH has to say about all this.

[–]grantly0711 4 points5 points ago

An AMA from an NBA mascot would be cool anyway.

[–]jevmorgan 4 points5 points ago

I'd like an AMA from anyone that actually believes this story is true.

[–]moar_noaw 2 points3 points ago

I am Reddit AMA.

[–]kellymoranco 9 points10 points ago

For some reason any joke that involves someone publicly shatting themselves makes me laugh, first joke that's made me actually laugh out loud on here, and its actually someones traumatic story, go figure.

[–]GronlieNaynd 23 points24 points ago

Oh lord This is the hardest Ive laughed in a long long time

[–]puro 8 points9 points ago

the part where hes screaming and diahrea gets in his mouth. oh god.. lol

[–]TooBoldForBlunts 5 points6 points ago

Jesus Christ, Shitty_Watercolour has to see this.

[–]dksprocket 4 points5 points ago

Time for him to live up to his name.

[–]cptncrnch 3 points4 points ago

We should make a bat signal equivalent to call him.

[–]SmellsLikeWinning 11 points12 points ago

"The tiny breathable holes in my gymshorts work like a shit colander"

I sense this going something like this:

[–]thejam15 12 points13 points ago

Going like what? DON'T LEAVE US HANGING!

[–]QCD 4 points5 points ago

I'd shit on an NBA mascot if I could become as popular as him

[–]redditdumpster 4 points5 points ago

Oh man my sides are in agony right now ..cannot stop laughing...

[–]x50_Spence 4 points5 points ago

everyone just asked in work why i was laughing. I had to sit there awkwardly and explain what I was laughing at and why i was looking at it and not doing work.

[–]ericsundqvist 6 points7 points ago

Made me laugh so hard. I pooped myself a little.

[–]DumbledorePubes 1 point2 points ago

I almost shit myself reading this.

[–]double_O_status 5 points6 points ago

I needed this today... I just pictured this ghetto black dude like, "what the FUCK? Awww hell na-blahghahahdksdjf"

[–]koolkid005 2 points3 points ago

raaaaaaaacist

[–]LittleCatDog 4 points5 points ago

The fact that Hugo is a black dude makes it all that much better.

[–]tomtom18 2 points3 points ago

Is there a subreddit for this? Really laughed a lot.

[–]sunsetrogue 9 points10 points ago

/r/kidswithdiarrheagetpickedupbymadcotsduringschoolassembliesandshitthemselves

[–]youknowthisisgg 2 points3 points ago

http://www.noobonicplague.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13112&start=0

He forgot about the part where space jam was playing in the background. check out the 8th post down.

[–]flamboyantlygaycat 6 points7 points ago

Let's face it, when 4chan produces a gem (rarely) it's the funniest thing on Reddit for quite some time.

[–]AestheticPotential 6 points7 points ago

I don't know man, I browse both Reddit and 4chan quite a bit and I have to say 4chan turns up original comedy gold a lot more frequently than Reddit does.

Unless of course you're for some reason tickled by the original content powerhouse that is /r/adviceanimals. Which many people obviously are given how frequently stuff from there makes it to the front page.

[–]C0rvette 2 points3 points ago

Holy shit. LOL

[–]xRobbStarkx 4 points5 points ago

How has there not been a picture drawn of this scene yet? I was laughing so hard reading this shit.

[–]dksprocket 3 points4 points ago

Yeah where is Shittywatercolor when you need him.

[–]jevmorgan 3 points4 points ago

It would be a fitting thing to paint, that's for sure.

[–]mojisim 1 point2 points ago

my favourite part was the poop arch

[–]jfk90787 0 points1 point ago

Funniest shit I have read in months

[–]ChilledParadox 1 point2 points ago

omg, i feel so sorry for this kid, but at the same time, im laughing so hard i can't breathe.

[–]FrontAllRandomPics 0 points1 point ago

I am at work and I laughed for 5 minutes straight while everyone was looking at me confused.

[–]FinalFlashDX 0 points1 point ago

IM IN AGONY... HELP ME

[–]AaronHolland44 4 points5 points ago

Final flash has been locked in a basement of a treacherous serial killer. After being tormented for 6 months straight he breaks free and types out the only message he can to the world, "IM IN AGONY... HELP ME" before he is recaptured by the murderous man.

[–]southern_possum 0 points1 point ago

This actually made me bust at laughing. I couldnt control myself.

[–]Herpdederperson 0 points1 point ago

This makes my cry in pity

[–]GreesyFizeek 0 points1 point ago

And that's when the shit hit the fan. And everybody else, apparently.

[–]DooDooBrownz 0 points1 point ago

i hope this is a true story. if not this guy needs to be a comedy writer

[–]1djpain 0 points1 point ago

reading this during midterm week while in the library. holding in laughter gave me a headache. still lol'd

[–]Mesquite_Skeet_Skeet 1 point2 points ago

shit colander

was the best

[–]Aweridcandian 0 points1 point ago

Me and my friend can't stop laughing at school. The entire class is like wtf!?

[–]aviking_ 0 points1 point ago

I work in SQE with a bunch of nerds and I seriously couldn't help but laugh out loud. It started out as a quiet giggle trying not to let everyone know that I was on Reddit and then half way through I could hold it in much like the story teller.

Now I have a bunch of people asking what is so funny so now I wait for the room to enjoy the story that I just read.

[–]Nousernamerage 0 points1 point ago

Dafuq?! I can't stop laughing!

[–]Harflin 0 points1 point ago

lost it at

shit colander

[–]Jrogers32 1 point2 points ago

This made me laugh harder than any post I've seen of reddit thus far thank you sir.

[–]bearscar 0 points1 point ago

I literally just LOLed all over the place

[–]gargeug 1 point2 points ago

The part with the dead silent room, with his motionless body still farting got me. I can only imagine the poor teacher's moment of bewilderment trying to figure out how to deal with this situation.

[–]ThreeHolePunch 0 points1 point ago

I didn't know the Charlotte Hornets don't exist anymore.

[–]motion40 1 point2 points ago

HAHAHAHA

[–]Reed2006 0 points1 point ago

AMA Hugo The Hornet...

[–]FeatherGrey 0 points1 point ago

This man is a great story teller.

[–]markmc72 -1 points0 points ago

That was Epic, this should also be posted in WTF.

[–]griffinhamilton 0 points1 point ago

Good too see someone besides the rest of the NBA shitting on the hornets.

[–]seanooo 0 points1 point ago

seems way too fucked up to not be real, im a believer.

[–]rev2sev 0 points1 point ago

Excellent.

[–]MSDolloff27 0 points1 point ago

This didn't get funny for me until the "can't stop farting/shitting" part, then it became hilarious.

[–]Kvnroach 0 points1 point ago

The colander reference put this story over the top, 11/10

[–]Souuuth 0 points1 point ago

Well, my day is made.

[–]raziphel 1 point2 points ago

that kid's a poop sparkler!

[–]coffeesleeve -1 points0 points ago

TIL the term shit colander.

[–]SpaceManAndy 1 point2 points ago

In kindergarden a girl pee'd herself wearing stockings. I still vividly remember her running out of the room with pee coming out the sides of her stockings like a urine sprinkler.

[–]The_Dovahkiin 0 points1 point ago

This is the first time I've actually cried from laughing.

[–]ArcticNano 0 points1 point ago

I imagined a large brown fountain, with a statue of a hornet and a small child.

[–]Not_Your_Duck 1 point2 points ago

It says somewhere in here that lol is the 2nd biggest lie, not true. I laughed out loud today, bad part is it was durring class when we were supposed to be studying.

[–]mynameisaugustwest 0 points1 point ago

WOW! This guy is a legend.

[–]TheFriendzone_ 0 points1 point ago

I just shit myself laughing, to bad it was durring a school rally when this hornet guy was flipping me.

[–]Mang0_Tang0 -1 points0 points ago

best story I have heard in awhile thank you

[–]br0connor 0 points1 point ago

Stories about people shitting themselves are always the funniest stories.

[–]extra_23 0 points1 point ago

This is one of the those few moments where I hope this isn't real; that poor kid...

Although still funny as hell!

[–]lina20 0 points1 point ago

I couldn't help bursting out laughing and i'm at work, people are staring at me and I don't even care

[–]koolkid005 -1 points0 points ago

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact

[–]hngfff 0 points1 point ago

LEGEND.

[–]Abstractpants 1 point2 points ago

Copypasta

[–]Zenodice 0 points1 point ago

I love that he passed out twice lol. Reading that was painfully hilarious

[–]mrpti 0 points1 point ago

Don't get me wrong, this is a fantastic story, but every embarassing story on 4chan seems to involve OP shitting somewhere inappropriate.

[–]TheVoiceOfRiesen 0 points1 point ago

I lol'd hard at this. It made me feel good knowing that next time I wipe out on the ice on my way to class "well...at least I'm not losing my bowels all over the Hornet mascot"

[–]folderol 0 points1 point ago

Is anyone else thinking that it's fortunate that he passed out a couple of times. Didn't have to "live through" the entire ordeal.

Now when I look at the alien flinging pie in the upper left I see a mascot flinging a kid spraying shit everywhere.

This was gold.

[–]ImaginarySoul_007 0 points1 point ago

omfg i laughed so hard i spilled water all over my, now dead, keyboard. Now im on my old sticky keyboard. totally fucking worth it though!

[–]SuperVillainPresiden 0 points1 point ago

WOW, my hat is off to you for not running away from home to avoid school the day after. Can't even begin to imagine, but funny as hell. Having to shit really bad: very uncomfortable, making the Mascot puke: talent, getting to shit on every asshole in your class:...priceless.

[–]H-Resin 0 points1 point ago

If only this had actually happened

[–]Vepper 0 points1 point ago

I lol'ed so hard my sides cramped up and I had to lay on my back for awhile. Great stuff

[–]Holdmybeerwatchthis -1 points0 points ago

[–]amatyr 1 point2 points ago

I think I just shit myself trying not to laugh to keep the whole office from knowing I'm not working, uh oh.

[–]Akira_kj 0 points1 point ago

Seems le-shit.

[–]iVellin 0 points1 point ago

I really hope that this is true. Still pretty funny if it's not though!

[–]linkrobin 0 points1 point ago

Okay, I wasn't sure about this before, but now I know.

/r/4chan is added to subscriptions.

[–]WhitefaceDankhammer 0 points1 point ago

Oh my dear lord. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Idk why you are embarrassed though; you shit on a professional mascot (a big black mascot at that) and got away with it. I'd say that's a #win.

[–]Desando 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for getting me kicked outta my Calc class for laughing uncontrollably...

[–]chrisnthat 0 points1 point ago

Are all posts on 4chan formatted like this?

[–]Beefmotron 0 points1 point ago

this is a photoshop. it didnt start with

be 14. fuck prom queen

clearly this is a counterfeit 4chan post.

[–]craxster 0 points1 point ago

Today this has won the internet.

[–]supnul 0 points1 point ago

I worse my sisters pants when i was 6 .. didnt realize till someone asked about the heart shaped butt pockets. :(

[–]smylisha_13 0 points1 point ago

I'm at work answering phones and cannot stop laughing whilst talking to a guest. Tears are definitely flowing.

[–]bubbasteamboat 0 points1 point ago

That...

...is...

...horrible.

[–]bigmac49 0 points1 point ago

I imagine a shit copter just being spun around.

[–]FatesReverend 0 points1 point ago

Ahahaha... omg. I'm cryin'

[–]ceezbakk 0 points1 point ago

I laughed harder than I have in a looong time.

[–]uchmans930 0 points1 point ago

My chest hurts from laughing!!

[–]dksprocket 1 point2 points ago

Where is Shitty_Watercolour when you need him?

[–]marsrover001 1 point2 points ago

Take all my up votes, many lulz have been had.

[–]Lakolguy 0 points1 point ago

i cried in the middle of class because of this...thank you

[–]GamerKat 0 points1 point ago

I feel so bad for that little boy. :-(

[–]MiggySawdust 0 points1 point ago

This is the funniest thing I've read in weeks! Please Lord let the black guy in the Hugo costume be a Redditor! It was probably his best story as a mascot!

[–]Awoken 1 point2 points ago

Uncontrollable laughter and I'm crying...

[–]matlick 1 point2 points ago

Did we all picture in our mind our own school gyms?

[–]gupsy 0 points1 point ago

Seriously though, who here has honestly been to the brink where any disturbance from the norm would fuck you right up? I have been there and it is a nightmare scenario the likes of which I have not faced again.

I was sitting in a chair, clenching and sweating for what seemed like an eternity, and I realized that just by standing up I was going to open the flood gates. But I had to do it, so I gripped the back of my pants at my thigh area, pulled them tight against my leg, and shuffle sprinted to the bathroom whilst shitting my pants.

It hurts to think of what that would be like with a mascot flipping you in the air at the most important stage of your social development.

[–]4-bit 0 points1 point ago

I so hope this is a true story.

That's the funnies thing I've read in a long time.

[–]Burn0Things 0 points1 point ago

I laughed so hard I teared up, Bravo!

[–]swiftimundo 0 points1 point ago

I had to stop reading this halfway through because im at work and laughing way too hard.

[–]EvilGrimace 0 points1 point ago

I would have moved to a new town/state/country

[–]prescription2 0 points1 point ago

I'm at work, I seriously had to leave my desk because i was laughing so hard lol

[–]walfredo_primavera 0 points1 point ago

You kids are gonna love our next guest, let me introduce, Hugo the Hornet! (these kids are just gonna shit when they see we got Hugo) <15 minutes later>...and a round of applause... for Hugo!

[–]pspness 1 point2 points ago

I've read this on 4Chan before, I believe.

[–]Carpe_cerevisiae 1 point2 points ago

Tubgirl's childhood.

[–]guntherpea 1 point2 points ago

that story is so sad... i felt horrible as i read it and laughed till i cried

[–]helldale3 1 point2 points ago

Great Scott this is embarrassing.

[–]justsaysblackpeople 0 points1 point ago

[–]nothing282 0 points1 point ago

[–]Mtfilmguy 1 point2 points ago

I'm reading this while on a film set and I laughed during a take. This made a shitty shooting day, way better. Thank you sir

[–]snowcobra 0 points1 point ago

[–]metwork 0 points1 point ago

lol, reveals himself as a black man

[–]iamVeridic 0 points1 point ago

Posting actual funny shit on reddit... gonna make me lose my job :D

[–]xeronak 0 points1 point ago

oh god I imagined every step of this story and I can't breathe hahaha

[–]whyunogivemegoodname 0 points1 point ago

Haven't laughed that hard in so long.

[–]Evil_Bettachi 0 points1 point ago

My first legitimate LOL in weeks, thank you OP!!

[–]aggression97 0 points1 point ago

When I read the fetal position thing I immediately thought of the binding of Isaac.

[–]Shaddo 0 points1 point ago

Holy Fuck I haven't laughed that hard in a decade. THANK YOU

[–]ragarr2 0 points1 point ago

I drew attention to myself at work from laughing so hard.

[–]Weazeldust 0 points1 point ago

People in my house think I'm crazy because of the insane laughter coming from the bathroom.

[–]Veregx 0 points1 point ago

Ha ha. I really needed that laugh.

[–]baileyjbarnes 0 points1 point ago

Your probably the reason the hornets moved to New Orleans!

[–]AliasUndercover 0 points1 point ago

Anybody else remember this one?

[–]codythomashunsberger 0 points1 point ago

Someone make a movie out of this.

[–]ChubbiestLlama 1 point2 points ago

This is absolutely the funniest thing I have ever read.

[–]Lil_Rudiger 1 point2 points ago

Where's shittywatercolor on this one?