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all 166 comments

[–]Berial 517 points518 points ago

"Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man" is quite possibly the greatest sentence ever written.

[–]Relient-J 170 points171 points ago

Could have been the God damn loch ness monster

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]RAPT0RJESUS 141 points142 points ago

Are you seriously retarded? or simply a primitive organism responding only to the most basic input stimuli?

input: Lock ness monster

output: tree fiddy

[–]playboyman007 34 points35 points ago

Damm the post was deleted.

[–]khalorei 24 points25 points ago

Damnit, I want to know what it said!

[–]MileHighBarfly 80 points81 points ago

take one fucking guess.

Stop where you are, take in a deep breath, drink a glass of water, eat a bowl of fruit loops.... now that your brain is completely nourished and stimulated, guess what the fucking comment was.

[–]veterejf 106 points107 points ago

"I need about tree fiddy"?

[–]vitorizzo 44 points45 points ago

only thing i can think of is CP

....jesus christ that came out so wrong

[–]Thizzlbafool 20 points21 points ago

If only there were context!

Are you seriously retarded? or simply a primitive organism responding only to the most basic input stimuli? input: Lock ness monster output: tree fiddy

[–]RedTempo 66 points67 points ago

I lost it at "shit colander"

[–]Aaron_is_cool/r9k/ 153 points154 points ago

Mmmmmmmm......copypasta, my favorite

[–]iiGrim/gif/ 61 points62 points ago

Tastes like shit, doesn't it?

[–]gatitosforever 206 points207 points ago

AMA request: Shit-on Hugo the Hornet

[–]Sharopo 29 points30 points ago

Shat-on?

[–]CHALLNGEACCPTD 9 points10 points ago

Shat-ner (d)

[–]inajeep 4 points5 points ago

William?

[–]ZeeHanzenShwanz 3 points4 points ago

You want to ask questions to the shit that was on Hugo the Hornet?

[–]gatitosforever 1 point2 points ago

Who doesn't...?

[–]Zipalicious 49 points50 points ago

Poster's name is accurate.

[–]bluspart 52 points53 points ago

Copypasta on 4chan becomes repost on reddit. Aaah, the circle of shit.

[–]DoubleWood 15 points16 points ago

Aaah, the circle of shit.

Aaah yes, the spinning and shitting would indeed create a circle of shit.

[–]lameWB 2 points3 points ago

It's literally a circle of shit. The food went through his body to be shat out and go into his body through the mouth again.

[–]Ash_Williams109 7 points8 points ago

Fucking anon, this copypasta can practically apply for a driver's permit.

[–]Milkman95 1 point2 points ago

Its the circle of shit, Randy, the circle of shit....

[–]potted -1 points0 points ago

Seriously, people are actually going out of their way to re-write the whole thing and submit here for karma.

Faggotry at its finest.

[–]Rnorman3 6 points7 points ago

Am I the only one who doesn't abhor reposts like the plague? (no John goodman)

I had never seen this before today, and would not have seen it without this repost (actually the repost of this repost, as I got here from link in the comments of that repost). If new people get to see it and laugh, isn't that the point of all of this? Or is the point just the invisible Internet points?

Bitching about reposts just seems like kind of a hipster mentality "well I've already seen this on the Internet, therefore you are a terrible person who should be burned at the stake."

[–]potted -1 points0 points ago

I actually wouldn't mind as much if it was the original but, it isn't. There's a reason /r/classic4chan exists.

[–]flyersfan018 -5 points-4 points ago

This copypasta is fucking older than me.

[–]ArmoredFan 179 points180 points ago

I'm crying, I'm absolutely crying. Funniest fucking thing I've read in a month.

[–]NothingsShocking 40 points41 points ago

Actually a blessing in disguise for this guy. Think about it. He's got the best story ever to tell for the rest of his life. Never will he have to worry about an icebreaker.

[–]GunRaptor 54 points55 points ago

Would you like to hear how I got these [mental] scars?

[–]Azumikkel 18 points19 points ago

Would you like to hear about the time I shat my pants?

[–]HitTheGymAndLawyerUp 11 points12 points ago

implying there is even the slightest chance this story is remotely real

[–]herrokan 9 points10 points ago

still a great story. especially if you are good at vividly imagining stuff. the shitfountain i imagined was just priceless

[–]dominicanlou 3 points4 points ago

In a graceful arc... Fucking. Poetic.

[–]Hozenzi 2 points3 points ago

and you came here expecting a legit story?

[–]CallowMethuselah 2 points3 points ago

After the second line, it was obvious where the story was going. Halfway through, it seemed very unlikely to be true.

And yet, I can't stop laughing.

[–]Aristipp 9 points10 points ago

I'm sitting here, in tears of laughter, waiting to donate blood. Woman came to ask if I'm alright. The funniest shit I ever came across, really!

[–]krackbaby 2 points3 points ago

Me too, but I'm crying with a mouthful of coffee

I was

It's on my shirt now

[–]acousticbruises 0 points1 point ago

I know right? My abs actually hurt from laughing at this.

[–]i-dont-have-a-gun 42 points43 points ago

like a colander

lol

[–]BusRider/g/ 12 points13 points ago

It kind of ruined spaghetti for me for a while.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]IronWaffled 6 points7 points ago

Copypasta

[–]axionj 15 points16 points ago

I climaxed three times

[–]gr33nm4n 5 points6 points ago

Whoa! Wait! How long has there not been a Charlotte Hornets? I stopped following them since...I guess NBA Jam.

[–]itrollulol 16 points17 points ago

I read this and laughed so hard. My pregnant roommate laughed so hard she gave birth 2 and a half months premature and the baby was even laughing.

[–]scrabaddict 19 points20 points ago

OMG laughing so hard I'm crying.

[–]illusiveab 17 points18 points ago

Yeah first good laugh in a while. Fuck these oldfags complaining about reposting.

[–]Chazz1022 2 points3 points ago

Died from laughter just imagining a kid unconscious, wakes up to see poop everywhere including his mouth, and just passes out again. I laughed for 20 minutes

[–]dr_walrus 3 points4 points ago

op is a faggot, repost of a repost of a repost just here on /r/4chan alone

[–]pratom 15 points16 points ago

11/10...read as shitting brains out. FEELSGOODMAN

[–]DizzyMau5 9 points10 points ago

Just woke the girlfriend up from laughing so hard. Do you know how hard it is to explain that I'm crying of laughter because a mascot got shit on by a kid? It is not easy. Even still, this is the best thing I have read in a long while.

[–]despaxes 3 points4 points ago

I'm crying of laughter because a mascot got shit on by a kid

Done. Explained.

[–]echo_of_silence 7 points8 points ago

Then spaghetti flew out of his pockets

[–]CalciumBicarbonate 7 points8 points ago

How original.

[–]echo_of_silence 0 points1 point ago

How original for someone on reddit to criticize the originality of a comment :)

[–]ANAL_EXPLORER_ 15 points16 points ago

8/10, would shit again

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT 3 points4 points ago

Hey, you leave his name outta this

[–]macchina 10 points11 points ago

lol relev....just kidding. get out faggot

[–]Rachard19 0 points1 point ago

So. Many. Novelty popping accounts. O.0

[–]SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT -1 points0 points ago

not a novelty yo

[–]GunRaptor 5 points6 points ago

I'm convinced this is the greatest story I've ever been told.

I can barely type I'm laughing so hard. A tear just SQUIRTED from my eye....I don't think it's ever done that.

9001/10

Will read many more times.

[–]hereforthemoney 1 point2 points ago

I know, I was just reading it thinking 'holy fuck, I'm reading something someone posted on the internet that is actually fucking funny and making me laugh for once'.

[–]Only_FaggotsReply2Me -5 points-4 points ago

LOHL WAT DA FUQ

lol the skale was out of da 10 but u gave >9000 lol W.T.FUCK. lol what da fuck

IT'S OVER FAGGOTTHOUSAND!

[–]nowlookwhatyoudid 6 points7 points ago

Repost or not, upvote for not ending in song lyrics.

[–]Sorxs 3 points4 points ago

I can't stop imagining a kid spiraling through the air with shit coming out of him. Now, whenever I see a kid, picking them up is liek the magic diarrhea button.

[–]omgnodoubt 0 points1 point ago

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read...

[–]ChickenBiscuitSwag 0 points1 point ago

This story is hilarious. If only it were true.

[–]phaedrus8128 2 points3 points ago

I assume this type of thing is the origin story for many many 4chan'ers

[–]evan111 0 points1 point ago

"neverpostsoc" stop being a faggot and post some OC

[–]ThawahCawwey 4 points5 points ago

My god. Most horrific pants-shitting story I've ever read. Bravo.

[–]Seawolf4 1 point2 points ago

godspeed OP, godspeed.

[–]commodore-69 -1 points0 points ago

I had to look up what a colander was. Then I started laughing

[–]CHALLNGEACCPTD 7 points8 points ago

What kind of backwater fuck doesn't know what a collander is? GTFO

[–]crackedrepair 0 points1 point ago

This is probably the single greatest thing ive ever rea

[–]PartMyBeefCurtains 0 points1 point ago

That was beautiful

[–]juice_box_slim 1 point2 points ago

6 drinks in. Shit my pants. Can't Händel the funnies

[–]_j_cal 0 points1 point ago

Give this man a Pulitzer.

[–]CalciumBicarbonate 0 points1 point ago

or a diaper.

[–]lamtranj 0 points1 point ago

dericious copy pasta

[–]iFartSunshine 1 point2 points ago

Sometimes this stuff makes me laugh so much that I am sad when I am done laughing, because I know it never, ever happened.

[–]rodeezy93 0 points1 point ago

[–]ItsMrIncredible -1 points0 points ago

I've never laughed so much at a 4chan post

[–]Atario 1 point2 points ago

Knew it was a fantasy tale at "all over my face and in my mouth".

[–]blackbadwolf 0 points1 point ago

Why did I decide to read this of all things while taking a poo?

[–]TheEstyles 0 points1 point ago

11/10 I'm crying here so funny

[–]gothicmaster -1 points0 points ago

tfw i read this at work and my co-workers don't know why the fuck i am laughing. and i cant tell them because they are not 4chan dwellers

[–]NueDumaz 0 points1 point ago

laughing so hard I can't breath......call amberlamps plz.....

[–]ericshaw -1 points0 points ago

I got a pain in my stomach reading this.

[–]xDividedByZer0/b/ -1 points0 points ago

11/10.

Fucking glorious.

[–]Hot_Beef_Injection -1 points0 points ago

It was at that moment I realized that Hugo the Hornet was about 8 stories tall crustacean from the Protozoic era

[–]thebabbster -1 points0 points ago

Seriously laughed my ass off at "arcing gracefully through the air"

[–]Mobius01010 -1 points0 points ago

Ummm... anyone else remember Charlotte is the biggest city in North Carolina? Man I love this shithole.

[–]RMiranda 0 points1 point ago

Internet/

[–]dcgm -1 points0 points ago

"shit colander"

[–]firesquasher -1 points0 points ago

Shit Colander... lost it

[–]rdldr1 0 points1 point ago

No wonder the Hornets moved.

[–]Lord_Fluffykins -1 points0 points ago

Actually, as a current New Orleanian, I'm really proud of you for shitting all over that Hugo fuck. He annoys the living hell out of me.

Bravo. OP not fag.

[–]fcknkllr -1 points0 points ago

You owe me a drink!!! Can't breathe now..thanks

[–]zen_nudist 1 point2 points ago

Old

[–]SassyMoron/b/ 0 points1 point ago

love this one. it's a classic.

[–]Calvinb27 0 points1 point ago

I always wondered what the real reason for the franchise's demise was

[–]srh2689 -1 points0 points ago

I literally could not stop laughing while reading this. 14/10 OP, fucking brilliant

[–]insanity408/b/ -1 points0 points ago

Was funny the first couple times I saw this, now, not so much...

[–]douggie2194 -1 points0 points ago

pasta

[–]titanicx -1 points0 points ago

[–]YouJellyFish -1 points0 points ago

I have two major problems with this. One, this is some seriously old content. I mean /r/classic4chan old.

Second, there's now way the kid could have gotten shit in his mouth from the way described. His mouth was open, yeah, but the shit would have been going away from his mouth. There is no backsplash that reaches your head from shitting.

Who on earth upvotes this shit on its 15th time around? It's /r/4chan's slut by this point.

[–]stencilizer/b/ -1 points0 points ago

[–]Amahoney77 -1 points0 points ago

Oh my god, that was the greatest thing I have ever read.

[–]thesheenmachine -1 points0 points ago

might be the funniest post ever

[–]mrP0P0 -1 points0 points ago

dear jebus I lol'd

[–]M1A1Tompson 1 point2 points ago

Props to you! I've never heard of anyone who shitted on someone and got away with it, especially a black man!

[–]JoJokerer 2 points3 points ago

nerds embarassment

Pick two.

[–]chikinpickle 1 point2 points ago

My.... sides....

[–]TimFL 1 point2 points ago

You guys post this on here once every month or what? Also can't believe the guys on there still fall for this copypasta.

[–]ohshitimincollege 1 point2 points ago

Old copypasta is old

[–]rblurthington25/pol/ 1 point2 points ago

MOTHER FUCKING REPOST

[–]AMoldyPotato -2 points-1 points ago

Oh my fucking god best 4chan story ababahabahahaha

[–]thecloudswillattack -2 points-1 points ago

Christ op!!! I fucken loled my assoff

[–]hudsen -2 points-1 points ago

I haven't laughed that hard at anything online in a while. The breathable holes haha.

[–]big-man-japan -2 points-1 points ago

Holy crap. I'm crying, I laughed too hard

[–]HE-MAN69WOO -2 points-1 points ago

This made me laugh so fucking hard you have no idea

[–]reptomin -2 points-1 points ago

Sweet Jesus of all these please let this one be true.

[–]otaku3009 -5 points-4 points ago

You don't know the meaning of repost.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]shii 1 point2 points ago

[–]Fake-Empire 0 points1 point ago

Why the fuck are all the weeaboos in the thread complaining about greentext stories? Glad I never go to fucking /jp/.

[–]overused-meme-alert 0 points1 point ago

/thread

beep

.

[–]TheAudio -2 points-1 points ago

This pasta is stale

[–]zoix -2 points-1 points ago

Fucking amazing, thanks!

[–]wethebest -2 points-1 points ago

Od as fuck. You win the shitting award

[–]SpydaKrazy -3 points-2 points ago

oh god my sides

[–]ariellerose -3 points-2 points ago

HAHAHHAHA OMGGGG I DIED WHEN I READ THIS. Literally the funniest post ever. Idk if this is SUPERRR funny or I'm just really tired. LOLLLLLL like wtf is this real?!

[–]TheEpicBiologist -5 points-4 points ago

OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER OP IS A FUCKING NIGGER

[–]ValiantTurtle19 0 points1 point ago

Haha.

[–]robogief -2 points-1 points ago

actually lol'd

[–]Ruined534 -2 points-1 points ago

Lol jesus

[–]fish4tea -2 points-1 points ago

My fucking sides.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]GreatCornolio 2 points3 points ago

implying you are using implying correctly

[–]dextercrk -3 points-2 points ago

Wow. He's right, I don't know shit about embarrassment.

[–]ryannayr140 -4 points-3 points ago

You shit your pants? I know the meaning of embarrassment a hell of a lot more than you.

[–]grecy 0 points1 point ago

I'm sitting in my office right now that usually has 100+ people in it. Its 10:42 PM and I'm the only one here babysitting some stupid server.

I literally just laughed out loud louder than I have laughed in months. Thankyou.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]GreatCornolio 25 points26 points ago

Yeah I laughed at loud and now all of le coworkers are looking at me! XD they got trolled

[–]revile221 15 points16 points ago

We all know you're 14. Quit being a bitch.

[–]JoeChieftw 14 points15 points ago

He needs to buy you a new keyboard, amirite? XD