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top 200 commentsshow all 222

[–]Squalor- 96 points97 points ago

I failed with flying colors.

[–]CIA_Informant 47 points48 points ago

And I'm just reinforcing my southern stereotypes :'(

[–]lnenad 12 points13 points ago

I'm 10000m away from your stereotype and i still failed.

[–]Thomas_Granger 10 points11 points ago

Yankee here. Failed.

[–]ShoMeUrNoobs 8 points9 points ago

Straight male here with only two dude cousins. I failed as well.

[–]Blankeyed 7 points8 points ago

So you fucked both your male cousins! Player! Haha

[–]ShoMeUrNoobs 5 points6 points ago

At the same time. With your mother.

[–]ilyashoi 3 points4 points ago

...i guess that brings up my final failure...

[–]Blankeyed 0 points1 point ago

She's dead!

[–]ShoMeUrNoobs 0 points1 point ago

Who said she was alive when it happened?

[–]ohioslayer 5 points6 points ago

I didn't really think 10km was that far a distance...

[–]guitard00d123 30 points31 points ago

George Michael?

[–]anitabelle 9 points10 points ago

Maeby?

[–]Neebat 20 points21 points ago

I could handle a hot cousin. So God gave me hot nieces. Apparently it's not ok to handle those.

[–]Heimdall2061 8 points9 points ago

Or at least, that what the fascist judge and his bullshit court orders say.

[–]CircleOfRocks 12 points13 points ago

You're also the hot cousin.

[–]starbuxed 9 points10 points ago

Second or first?

[–]Squalor- 12 points13 points ago

As the song goes:

First is the worst.

Second is wincest.

[–]skyman724 2 points3 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]jmarks7448 2 points3 points ago

Did you have your mom help you out too?

[–]Ragnorok3141 0 points1 point ago

I'm betting about 100 people came here to say that exact thing. Free karma for easy joke.

[–]darkneo86 0 points1 point ago

I wish I could fail that test. So hard.

Two hot cousins.

[–]SaraLovesScalpals2 0 points1 point ago

Chick here and failed with my chick cousin.. many times.. many positions..

[–]sterling_mallory 2 points3 points ago

Les Cousins Dangereux

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 58 points59 points ago

Okay. So, this is definitely a marketing campaign bullshit.

I checked the users who have been submitting these, and they're all submitting the same stuff.

[–]jimbosaur 11 points12 points ago

Until "she" starts hocking products, I'm going to assume that it's some comedian trying to get his/her work out there by gaming Reddit.

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 15 points16 points ago

She is selling a product: her comedy.

But anyway, it's still fucked up that she's (presumably) paying some shady service (or maybe Reddit itself) to use fake accounts to post her stuff.

[–]intertron1 1 point2 points ago

AMA request - This comedian

[–]MrConfucius 152 points153 points ago

Who is this lady? She's all over /r/funny today.

[–]LeopardKhan 172 points173 points ago

Has she hired some kind of army to constantly post her stupid Twitter updates to Reddit and upvote them?

[–]willymo 51 points52 points ago

It would seem so.

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 22 points23 points ago

Yes. I checked the users that submitted it. They've also submitted other identical content.

[–]apullin 18 points19 points ago

Clearly. This has been going on for a few days now.

Reddit does have a tendency to try and harvest content from wherever they can, so everyone can have something to "participate" with. Screencap/subtitled jokes are a commen example of this ... pretty much every scene from 30 rock has now been posted.

But, this ... this is over the top, and it's pretty clear it's some sort of "genuine participation" type of thing going on. Probably not an "army", probably just someone with a big account swarm.

[–]CJGibson 10 points11 points ago

[–]HKYK 1 point2 points ago

Literally the perfect response to this. Upvote.

[–]thats_a_risky_click 41 points42 points ago

[–]Todomanna 26 points27 points ago

Kind of funny? Sure, I can see that... post half a dozen links an hour funny? Not so much.

[–]codychro 11 points12 points ago

It scares me every damn time I see you post a link.

[–]forevabronze 6 points7 points ago

her face is kinda creepy too

[–]BentMafkFilms 7 points8 points ago

Kinda? Fully creepy

[–]AWWWYEAHHHH 6 points7 points ago

She is a comedic writer from Richmond, VA.

[–]pantysmarts 5 points6 points ago

not that comedic

[–]Imaybereptar 7 points8 points ago

Yrsh I'm pretty sick of her, if i wanted to see these, I'd go look at her twitter

[–]Goatpunching 12 points13 points ago

This is getting out of hand, I wonder who is benefiting from this.

[–]edgesrazor 5 points6 points ago

I feel like I'm following her on Twitter without actually following her on Twitter.

[–]Merfen 1 point2 points ago

I know, shes been on the front page for 2 or 3 days now, sometimes with multiple posts. Shes not that funny at all.

[–]Pebbleboy 0 points1 point ago

Don't know how to link to a podcast directly so look this up guys.

ExplicitTheSomeGuysShow #47 - Comedian Otto Petersen

Comedian Otto Petersen takes over the 4th mic, talks about working with George, comedy club owners, The Pig Roast and fried chicken. Plus 5 minute interview with Twitter's hilarious FilthyRichmondCheck Out Otto and George @PigRoast.tvOttoandGeorge.comAnd@filthyrichmond on Twitter

3/19/12

That "account" was hilarious as a blog and funny on twitter. Just before that podcast it lost something to me at least.

[–]violentacrez 6 points7 points ago

She used to be called Jocelyn Testes-Harder

[–]Danjak 2 points3 points ago

Good question - was wondering the same.

Regardless, her comments have been genuinely funny (though the cousin one is the weakest of the bunch), so good on her.

[–]metathesis 41 points42 points ago

I find the number of upvotes this post has disturbingly revealing of reddit's hidden cousin lust.

[–]narddawg 20 points21 points ago

I like the way they think

[–]skyman724 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]AkAdude 2 points3 points ago

In Saudi, you marry a cousin.

[–]wr80 1 point2 points ago

You know having a kid with your cousin has the same birth defect chance as a woman over 40 having a kid right? Good odds to me.

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 5 points6 points ago

Because apparently it's not real...

Look at all the posts about this lady. Then look at the users who submitted it, and look at their history. They all submit the same thigns.

[–]shackled_fjord 1 point2 points ago

What's not real?

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 1 point2 points ago

All the upvotes/submissions.

[–]thearmadillo 1 point2 points ago

The user who posted this one has had his account for over a year, and this is his third submission total. None of the others are from twitter. What's your point exactly?

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 12 points13 points ago

Alright, I'll explain:

This is like the fourth time (today) this lady's tweets have been posted. That looks awfully suspicious. So, I checked out the user who submitted one of the others (which has since been deleted). He looked normal, had been around 3 years (although he hadn't posted anything in more than a year). Seemed legit.

Then I saw this one, and thought "hmm... this is just too suspicious." So I checked this user. At first glance, he also seems legit. Except, one of the things he submitted (the "No, this is how you drink PBR" thing) was ALSO submitted by the first user I checked out.

They've both been around for years, but posted the same thing years ago, and now are posting the same thing again? No way that's a coincidence.

[–]duano_dude 9 points10 points ago

I dunno, I think I could use a little more testing.

[–]AllYourBase3 28 points29 points ago

Good Lord stop posting this dumb woman's twitter shit

[–]slowitdown 6 points7 points ago

Yet in some states, you can legally marry said cousin.

[–]appealtoprobability 8 points9 points ago

My Aunt, from Massachusetts, tried to make fun of Minnesota for being one of those states "where cousins get married."

It's only legal in one of those two states. Take a guess.

[–]clb92 -1 points0 points ago

Car! The answer is definitely car... Or was it 3?

[–]smokeydesperado 0 points1 point ago

No it's cats! The answer is always cats on reddit.

[–]Imundecidedlypurple 7 points8 points ago

Ironic that mine turned out to be lesbian.

[–]TrainAss 11 points12 points ago

If it's second cousins, it's OK.

[–]SaraLovesScalpals2 8 points9 points ago

lol I failed that test . 0.0

[–]camnui 4 points5 points ago

if its 3rd cousins its a lot less weird.

[–]Dcbrewlaw 12 points13 points ago

But you'd think you could have learned to restrain yourself after the first and second

[–]camnui 5 points6 points ago

giggity

[–]yafasil 2 points3 points ago

Yep, hot second cousin.

[–]Alablamo 0 points1 point ago

I think it all depends. Up in Canada, third cousins.. sure, why not. A little further south, second cousins.. well ok. Even further south, first cousins.. Yee haw! And then Georgia and Alabama, sisters.. heck, everyone's doing it!

[–]coronawithlime 3 points4 points ago

excuse me i'm from both alabama and georgia and there is no sister love going on here

[–]seeteethree 10 points11 points ago

That's right, you just have to claim to be from two places, and it's OK. "No, my sister's in Alabama!" "No, no, my sister's in Georgia!"

[–]coronawithlime 0 points1 point ago

Well my sister is in Georgia. I'm currently in Alabama.

[–]Alablamo 6 points7 points ago

you seem awfully fond of your sister

[–]coronawithlime 3 points4 points ago

I am. After my alabama wife kicked me out of the house my sister furnished my entire apartment. She is really great.

[–]Alablamo 5 points6 points ago

That's certainly nice of her, she "furnished" your "apartment"

[–]coronawithlime 0 points1 point ago

yeah. I got a 2 bedroom 2 bath place so I can get my daughter on weekends. But I had no bed, no couch, no tv, no kitchen table, no crib, no dresser, ect...and she gave me all of that stuff.

[–]jimbosaur 7 points8 points ago

Oh yeah, I bet she "gave you the furniture and other accoutrements necessary to provide a comfortable and nurturing environment for your daughter." You ol' hound-dog.

[–]VoluptuousOrange 1 point2 points ago

Surly you jest. Reddit taught me otherwise.

[–]acdcpeon 20 points21 points ago

Thought I was on twitter for a moment there. This lady is everywhere today. Is this some sort of marketing campaign?

[–]riokou 7 points8 points ago

It is. People need to stop upvoting this stuff, it really isn't that great. Come to think of it, how did it get popular in the first place? Are they using a bot?

[–]thunnus 5 points6 points ago

I wanted to fail that test so hard. Sadly, I passed.

[–]chikinpickle 5 points6 points ago

I have a morbidly obese cousin, or six.

[–]Black_Diamond 6 points7 points ago

That lady's face makes me want to punch my own.

[–]puterTDI 12 points13 points ago

I had a coworker back in college who would always go on about his girlfriend (not detailed sex stuff, just about how he was going to see her, how long they had been dating, etc).

He finally one day told us that she was his cousin.

We, of course, made fun of him ruthlessly from that point on. He finally went to our boss and complained, our boss responded with "you told them that you're dating your cousin. What did you really expect to happen?"

[–]skyman724 15 points16 points ago

Unfortunately, God gave me 3....................

WHY, GOD, WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[–]TrainAss 9 points10 points ago

So you can have 3 attempts. DUH!

[–]skyman724 6 points7 points ago

3 ongoing, torturous attempts..............seriously, I have trouble containing my boners around them.

The sad thing is that the mother of one of them, who isn't blood related to my immediate family, had sex with my dad before marrying his brother...........her daughter is too young to be his though, but still.................

ಠ_ಠ

[–]AniCator 13 points14 points ago

There's your excuse. Now go!

[–]P2000Camaro 11 points12 points ago

3? I don't think I have a cousin who ISN'T attractive.lol

Two of them will probably read this comment...

HI HEATHER AND ALEX!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]skyman724 1 point2 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]sadhound55 5 points6 points ago

I don't have a hot cousin. I MUST BE THE HOT COUSIN. Wait till the guys here about this...

[–]Mitz510 5 points6 points ago

Remember that guy who posted on an AskReddit question how he has a friend who has a really hot cousin and will post pictures of them on Facebook and people would comment stuff like "Who is that" "Wow she is pretty" and he will reply with a ";)" or something like that.

[–]Paradoxmoa 14 points15 points ago

God, that lady's face freaks me out.

Also, I'm already sick of her tweets being posted here.

[–]Daftsoul 4 points5 points ago

whelp, I failed.

[–]adg606 2 points3 points ago

Not everyone.

[–]Jaqhoff 4 points5 points ago

Luckily mine is Lesbian

[–]Arcticwind223 2 points3 points ago

But I don't have any female cousins...

[–]TAC0001 4 points5 points ago

Sometimes there's a random MILFy aunt thrown in the mix too.

[–]sgrodgers10 2 points3 points ago

Not true- I'm a male and have only male cousins. And I'm not gay... yet

[–]GMonsoon 4 points5 points ago

Or reality: there are people out there who are so screwed up in the head that they have the hots for their own family members.

[–]octocock 10 points11 points ago

Who the fuck is this lady and why is everyone posting her shit to reddit?

[–]moxiedrinker82 6 points7 points ago

A friend of mine actually said this:

"Isn't is great how God makes us sort of hate our cousins, so we're not even remotely attracted to or interested in them?"

[–]kaydub88 4 points5 points ago

Ain't that some shit. I love my cousins, they're all awesome in their own ways. I just wish some would visit more.

[–]moxiedrinker82 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, I lived with this friend for a while and met some of these cousins. They said he was a brat growing up. I think the issue here is with him, not them.

[–]dannyalleyway 2 points3 points ago

Is that Pete Holmes in a wig?

[–]r0mster 2 points3 points ago

That looks authentic.

[–]richiekk1 2 points3 points ago

i guess theres more people in alabama than i had expected

[–]MarvinTheAndroid42 2 points3 points ago

HAH! I don't have a cousin.

[–]RoshoFTMFW 2 points3 points ago

I almost had a hot step-cousin once..

[–]Dindi304 2 points3 points ago

Am I the only one who got a twitter just to follow this person?

[–]ASKSDUMBTHINGS 2 points3 points ago

I am at an unfair disadvantage, because my cousin is a model.

[–]leorising 2 points3 points ago

Sigh. I'm the hot cousin.

[–]Raziid 2 points3 points ago

I truly do not

[–]mohorta 2 points3 points ago

My mother's adopted.

-Dr Hardick

Attorney at go fuck yourself.

[–]SloppyPuppy 2 points3 points ago

Already tested my hot cousin. She was good.

[–]kikabkika 2 points3 points ago

Surprisingly bible does allow marriage between cousin.

[–]Damlong 6 points7 points ago

this definitely maeby a possibility

[–]shinyspaghettiswan 7 points8 points ago

I have no hot cousins in my family. I guess that just means I'm the hot one.

[–]LeMadnessofKingHippo 2 points3 points ago

Solid logic right there.

[–]Herdsoot 6 points7 points ago

[–]IdealizedSalt 8 points9 points ago

I'd appreciate if everyone would just join twitter and follow this person, because I think this is five of her posts that I've seen here.

[–]Loafie 1 point2 points ago

Einstein and Darwin both married their first cousins actually.

[–]BACONINGOFTEHNYANS 1 point2 points ago

But who's the hotter cousins hotter cousin?

[–]Mr_James119 1 point2 points ago

I don't have a hot cousin :(

[–]LeMadnessofKingHippo 1 point2 points ago

The only cousins I have that have been labeled "hot" were also of the same gender as me, guess I got out of that test then.

[–]Kenshin220 1 point2 points ago

According to the Bible cousins are fair game

[–]bucketofscum 3 points4 points ago

This is definitely not true of everyone. I have two cousins that I know of. Nope.

[–]memeaddictedchick 6 points7 points ago

I don't have cousins at all..

[–]jimbosaur 3 points4 points ago

Lucky you, that means you're it.

[–]bucketofscum 2 points3 points ago

Oh yeah. I guess I am the handsome devil.

[–]cafink 3 points4 points ago

The Bible doesn't exactly frown upon incest.

[–]squishinthedark 3 points4 points ago

My hot "cousin" is my adopted uncle's step daughter...still too close?

[–]Mr_Bungled 2 points3 points ago

Maybe a little fucked up, I give it a YMMV rating

[–]Darkplek 1 point2 points ago

...Did you make this in MS Paint?

Edit: Nevermind then :P It appears that twitter's advanced search is shite. Still, that doesn't in any way look like my normal Twitter font. She did apparently say it though, so... fail @ me.

[–]DELTATKG 6 points7 points ago

[–]Montanese 1 point2 points ago

shit just makes sense I guess.

[–]usabfb 2 points3 points ago

He sure as shit does. My cousin's a model. A fucking model.

[–]ZealousSlayer 2 points3 points ago

If you don't have a hot cousin, then I got news for you.

[–]YSCapital 0 points1 point ago

Who is this and why do i keep seeing her tweets?

[–]Kotaniko 1 point2 points ago

When I was 10 or 11, I remember thinking that my cousin from Arizona was pretty attractive. I think she was 17 at the time, and I haven't seen her since. No idea if she's still attractive, no desire to find out.

[–]DeLoreanMotorCars 5 points6 points ago

You get your ass on FB and find out, then report back with a pic.

[–]Kotaniko 1 point2 points ago

She and I aren't friends on facebook, and even if she was I wouldn't post pics of my cousin for Reddit to fap to.

[–]DeLoreanMotorCars 6 points7 points ago

I'll fap with the utmost respect for your cousin.

[–]webhyperion 2 points3 points ago

I think god should prevent this women from using twitter too often and post stupid shit nobody finds funny.

[–]lastrideelhs 0 points1 point ago

And if you can't find said hot cousin. You are probably it. Like the fat cousin

[–]I_FISTED_MY_GRANDMA 0 points1 point ago

He really fucked me over.

[–]shwiggy -1 points0 points ago

Are we going to put every tweet she writes into a picture?

[–]Mezolithic 1 point2 points ago

I have a hot step cousin. I'm not sure what the protocol there is, but it makes fapping an ethical dilemma.

[–]hwaltman 1 point2 points ago

Is this from the same lady that put a blunt wrap in the lunchbox and a fruit rollup in her pocket?

[–]major_pleasure 1 point2 points ago

God failed me on this one.

[–]take_this_username 1 point2 points ago

Did you 'shop' this with an ham sandwich?

[–]mondomaniatrics 1 point2 points ago

Not me. :-(

[–]zXxxxxXxxxXxxxXz 1 point2 points ago

Good thing she's pregnant already.

[–]TheDroopy 1 point2 points ago

I feel so left out. I have two cousins; one is a dude and one is lesbian.

[–]amolad 1 point2 points ago

Hah! You never saw my cousins....

[–]ZoeyDakin 1 point2 points ago

Or, Satan made you the hot cousin just to fuck with you

[–]clydefrog811 1 point2 points ago

/r/incest is what everyone is thinking

[–]Thecrazything 1 point2 points ago

Hey, that makes me a hot cousin!

[–]perhapsnotthrowaway 1 point2 points ago

Well this reminds me of a story I've been repressing for years. At a family wedding my drunk, weird cousin asked my dad in a suggestive way "Wow, who is that girl? I might talk to her." He was quickly reminded that I am his relative. Gross. So gross.

[–]aareyes12 1 point2 points ago

Hmmm doable cousins or attractive cousins.

There is a difference....

[–]PhatDude2456 1 point2 points ago

He gave me two :(

[–]paroxyst 1 point2 points ago

My family is full of hot cousins lol. The rest are underage or chubby, which could change.

Unfortunately, I'm of age and not fat, and all of my cousins are prettier than me >:/

(whine whine whine) lol

[–]Jabbatheslann 1 point2 points ago

Does... Does this mean I'm supposed to be gay?

[–]Shit_Tsunami 1 point2 points ago

I dont have one..does this make ME the hot one?

[–]MarkTheWanderer 1 point2 points ago

So i'm not the only one!

[–]NetzInTheKitchen 1 point2 points ago

Yes, I have one. Sigh...

[–]AznSensation93 1 point2 points ago

Do cousins once removed or twice removed count?

[–]daekano 1 point2 points ago

I'm the hot cousin :(

[–]poonslyr69 1 point2 points ago

well thats the 7th time its been confirmed that I'm going to hell

[–]Chrasness 1 point2 points ago

I guess I'm on hard mode because I have 2 hot cousins.

[–]robbotsdead 1 point2 points ago

...I MUST BE THE HOT COUSIN!

[–]duBiYou 1 point2 points ago

Doesnt count for adopted kids =D.... lucky bastards... -_-

[–]RLJL 1 point2 points ago

OK, everyone post your hot cousins! It's OK if other people jerk off to them!

[–]southern_cross 1 point2 points ago

C'mon, folks! All these cousin jokes (with, of course, the obligatory ones about the South), yet nobody bothers to check the actual laws concerning these matters: http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=states .

TL;DR: Cousins are perfectly legal in about half of the United States.

[–]acemasterke406 1 point2 points ago

Why would he be testing us? He allowed all those people in the Bible to have incestuous relationships with their parents and sisters.

[–]DoeBoi 1 point2 points ago

It's worst when your hot cousin is also an exhibitionist, and yes, I've seen her naked. Thanks for that reminder OP.

[–]aphreshcarrot 1 point2 points ago

Since when? I have one single cousin and he's a pothead even though he is 14.

[–]thane_of_cawdor 1 point2 points ago

Stop reposting shit from a twitter account that has more comedic value than this whole subreddit

[–]m3lston 1 point2 points ago

Maeby that's not true...

[–]billiarddaddy 1 point2 points ago

Yeah. Asshole.

[–]Insanitor37 1 point2 points ago

I don't have a hot cousin. I suddenly feel a bit more confident about myself.

[–]ledgenskill 1 point2 points ago

While people say they have failed im on the way to failing she popular i am not what the actual fuck am i doing

[–]Nile90 1 point2 points ago

Okay, there was once a poll on a Diablo II trading website about this. d2jsp.org is a massive forum with all sorts of subforums and there is a "love line" with relationship advice and such. I remember a poll asking "would you have sex with your cousin?" with the possible answers being "yes" "maybe" or "no" and it ended up being 25% yes, 25% maybe, and 50% no. It shocked me that 50% of people would likely do bang on their cousin if they were both up for it...

[–]wr80 1 point2 points ago

So you're not supposed to do stuff with you're cousin

[–]flyingpyramid 1 point2 points ago

This post makes me less embarrassed than I was a minute ago.

[–]Phoequinox 1 point2 points ago

I don't have any hot cousins. Booyah!

[–]Defcon458 1 point2 points ago

I wanted to fail this so hard a couple months back...just met her for the first time...I'm 24, she's 27 and super hot! Unfortunately, I passed.

[–]Dude_Wes 1 point2 points ago

What if I am the hot cousin?

[–]Essiethememonster 1 point2 points ago

All my cousins are girls. And I'm a girl. God wants me to be a lesbian

[–]bfinleyui -2 points-1 points ago

I have lost all faith in reddit. Thread about cousin-fucking and no arrested development references? I has disappoint.

I'll just leave this here

[–]southern_cross 1 point2 points ago

I've never seen AR, but I know the cousin thing is a running gag there. So what is this - a real wedding or just somebody's fantasy?

[–]freezerburn666 -3 points-2 points ago

are we going to see this chicks tweets every single day or what?

[–]adamsworstnightmare -1 points0 points ago

Needs more jpeg

[–]Burnedafterreading -3 points-2 points ago

Can we be finished with upvoting this lady's tweets already...