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all 126 comments

[–]TumbleDryLow 128 points129 points ago

Maybe if they'd told us that instead of calling it a "birdie" back in high school PE, more people would've played badminton.

[–]thefreq 68 points69 points ago

I played badminton back in middle school. That shit was the tits.

[–]shivers13 18 points19 points ago

Now THAT is a compliment

[–]thefreq 12 points13 points ago

Seriously, though, it was! It was one of those sports that we played that I didn't have a choice in (standard for our PE class), and it's safe to say that I, as well as most of the rest of the class, had an incredible time doing it (regardless of how well we did). If I had access to a badminton court, I would go and play in a heartbeat.

[–]online222222 4 points5 points ago

man, a couple of years ago during a free gym period, I had the most fun I've ever had in gym: playing badminton with two rackets against two other people.

[–]thefreq 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, badminton really is great. It's the perfect mix of nice, relaxing play and really intense competition.

[–]grimpoteuthis 2 points3 points ago

Badminton and tennis were the only two sports I liked in p.e. I had so much fun. Actually, I have no clue why I quit playing tennis out of school. I should go do that again.

[–]Baked_Otter 2 points3 points ago

Dodgeball, motherfucker.

[–]grimpoteuthis 2 points3 points ago

I'm a tiny chick. That was my fear every goddamn day.

[–]dimwut 0 points1 point ago

My God,I feel so badass doing that.

[–]shivers13 0 points1 point ago

I completely agree. On days where we had to run more, we were given the rest of the hour to have free time, and this was definitely the sport of choice. Even if I sucked at it, it felt pretty damn awesome to save that birdie from the falling at the last second.

[–]Godphree 1 point2 points ago

It's certainly not pants.

[–]justagrrl 1 point2 points ago

Hell yeah. I played badminton in high school and loved it. Took it again in college and loved it even more. Then I tripped and broke my ankle. I've been skeered since then to really play... I should though. I'm old and fat now and it would do me some good.

[–]Badminton 149 points150 points ago

Badminton is one of the most popular sports in the world.

[–]gbboi15 110 points111 points ago

getting a little concieted here arent we?

[–]Badminton 42 points43 points ago

I was expecting this. Have an upvote.

[–]Serial_Masturbator 27 points28 points ago

I'm an Asian that can't play badminton... I was disowned at the age of 7.

[–]Humble_Link_Guy 18 points19 points ago

[–]cpnHindsight 9 points10 points ago

I'm an Asian that can't play badminton

Disabled Asian.

[–]LeoRelkceoz 3 points4 points ago

Hence the serial masturbating

[–]FaptainAwesome 2 points3 points ago

Too busy masturbating? It's okay, I can relate

[–]Consensual_Rex 2 points3 points ago

I guess you can say you put the bad in badminton

yuk yuk yuk

[–]Ruirize 0 points1 point ago

hyuk hyuk hyuk

FTFY

[–]Left_For_Bread 2 points3 points ago

Why did I read this in the 'Allstate' voice?...sigh.

[–]TumbleDryLow 0 points1 point ago

I was basing my statement off of going to prep school in the American Midwest. It's the heartland when it comes to corn and sincerity, but not badminton (sadly).

[–]03Titanium 0 points1 point ago

From 7th to 12th grade badminton was intense and played to win. It's funny because it was one of the "girl" activities in grade school. The gym would split in half to wiffleball and badminton. Or basketball and ultimate frisbee. It was around 7th grade when it stopped becoming extremely segregated by gender and the boys found out ultimate frisbee and badminton were the shit. The girls weren't too happy at the new level of competition.

[–]Gemini_19 0 points1 point ago

They call them shuttlecocks in my school. Many giggles were had.

[–]Shuttlecock 0 points1 point ago

Tell me about it.

[–]mkunzel 27 points28 points ago

This is from the Not From Concentrate comic. His stuff is pretty good, he used to be the comic artist for UMD's newspaper.

http://www.nfccomic.com

[–]poptart2nd 2 points3 points ago

[–]brownboy13Delhiting your posts since 2012[M] 0 points1 point ago

Thanks.

[–]unsafestbird 1 point2 points ago

I used to read his comics in the Diamondback. His were the best comics.

[–]PancakeTune 0 points1 point ago

But some of the other ones they had there... [shudder]

[–]xenokilla 1 point2 points ago

thanks for posting the source, i really wish he'd get back to making comics. sigh.

[–]spectralnischay 0 points1 point ago

So many web comics.

[–]sparearmadillo 19 points20 points ago

Believe. Remember i before e except after c, and in neighbor, height, weigh and sleigh.

[–]nixons_dog 13 points14 points ago

And on weekends and holidays and all throughout May and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!

FYI, the i before e except after c rule is actually broken more often than not in the english language.

[–]ildracomcmxcv[!] 5 points6 points ago

Believe. Remember i before e except after c, and in neighbor, height, weigh and sleigh.

That's weird

[–]chr1sp 1 point2 points ago

That's because he is missing part of the rhyme. I before E except after C, or when sounding like a as neighbor or weigh, and weird is just weird. People don't know the end of the rhyme and attribute all of the irregularities to english being dumb. Now there are still irregularities, which I'm too lazy to find, but much less.

[–]zodar 1 point2 points ago

He mentions "height."

[–]ildracomcmxcv[!] 0 points1 point ago

The joke is that weird is on the list of words, but he didn't put it in there.

[–]packerbacker1221 0 points1 point ago

It's just "gh" words.

[–]YouListening 0 points1 point ago

Because it's just not right.

[–]gazzawhite 1 point2 points ago

If you had more proteins you'd understand.

[–]Battletooth 1 point2 points ago

But don't forget science. The I is before E even though it's after C.

[–]nomenMei 2 points3 points ago

Or any other words with the latin root "scio", like conscience.

[–]dont_press_ctrl-W 0 points1 point ago

Interestingly, the "i before e except after c" is statistically inaccurate.

The statistical data confirms that IE is in fact more common than EI, and that the dominance of IE lessens wehn following a C, but contrary to the rule, CIE is still more common than CEI. Examples of "CIE" words include "science," "society," "ancient" and "species." The disadvantage of the "I before E except after C" model is that it is not very accurate.

(Quoted from an article about statistical language modelling)

So a rule like "i before e" would be accurate more often than "i before e except after c".

[–]Caelcryos 4 points5 points ago

A comic about a cock and two balls.

[–]GuessWho_O 8 points9 points ago

Laughed the pair of balls..

[–]ChoxRox 3 points4 points ago

Spacedicks?

[–]EyeGetMunchies 0 points1 point ago

Like a man dick?

[–]rocknrollercoaster 4 points5 points ago

yes the name "Rocket penis," WAS taken... By Elton John ;)

[–]aggrazel 0 points1 point ago

Because he gets off in T-10 seconds?

[–]rocknrollercoaster 0 points1 point ago

no, because of the song rocket man. What kinda gaylord doesn't know every elton john song...

[–]aggrazel 0 points1 point ago

I know the song, I was making a funny. Woe is me.

[–]rocknrollercoaster 0 points1 point ago

woah!

[–]ericwithak 2 points3 points ago

I gave the tennis ball Archers voice when I read this and I was not disappointed

[–]Net-Junkey 4 points5 points ago

I don't think this cock is poor if it ever gets shuttled...

[–]Battletooth 0 points1 point ago

I wish my cock got shuttled once in a while... And I'm in a seven year relationship.

[–]poptart2nd 3 points4 points ago

i'm not entirely sure what that metaphor was meant to convey...

[–]Battletooth 0 points1 point ago

You start off going downhill right away. As soon as you hit the bottom and think things can't go any worse, BAM!

I think?

[–]mackinoncougars 2 points3 points ago

slippery slope, breaking point...someone dies, other one gets away scot-free.

[–]Battletooth 3 points4 points ago

Note to self: Do not enter relationship with mackinoncouagars.

[–]FuckingZimbu 2 points3 points ago

Actually Rocketpenis is already taken. /flex

[–]teaker 3 points4 points ago

*believe

[–]Tomoose08 1 point2 points ago

I can totally relate to the shuttlecock, my last name is Overy (yes pronounced ovary)....that never gets old for some people.

[–]Spring_Break 0 points1 point ago

Where are their pupils?! This is so anatomically incorrect!!

[–]-Shirley- 1 point2 points ago

in German it is "Federball"

i really liked to play with them, too.

[–]Kuskesmed 0 points1 point ago

Fjerbold in Danish (feather-ball)

[–]Moo3 0 points1 point ago

Same in Mandarin Chinese. Feather-ball.

[–]Raymond890 0 points1 point ago

*believe

If you're gonna take the time to make a quality comment you might as well check your spelling.

[–]schniggens 1 point2 points ago

...said the two balls.

[–]swangasm 1 point2 points ago

"but you can call me birdie!" "shut up shuttlecock!!!"

[–]njpartis 0 points1 point ago

you spelled believe wrong.

[–]Bazofwaz 0 points1 point ago

Spacedicks

[–]jobrohoho 0 points1 point ago

ahem

b-e-l-i-e-v-e

[–]ShoMeUrNoobs 0 points1 point ago

In high school I was pelted in the eye with a birdie while playing badminton in gym class. My right eye had internal bleeding and if it wasn't for the immediate medical attention, I could have lost vision in that eye. Despite the injury, everyone in school had to point out that I had taken a cock to the eye, even the freshmen.

[–]AFatBlueHobo 1 point2 points ago

I took one of these to the lip earlier today, no damage to me but those things hurt like a bitch, can't imagine how much pain you were in.

[–]ShoMeUrNoobs 1 point2 points ago

It felt like my eyeball was pressed back in my skull. Another things was I was wearing contacts so it had been pushed up towards the top of my eyeball and had some major difficulties getting it out. It was great though because I got to stay home from school for a week, with a plastic shield taped to my head.

[–]TheBanker425 0 points1 point ago

One of the first pictures that has actually made me laugh uncontrollably!

[–]Viscious_biscuit4 1 point2 points ago

Wow I've only seen this 7 other times

[–]The_Director 0 points1 point ago

I feel like the last panel was unnecessary.

[–]not_from_chattanooga 0 points1 point ago

related-->Dick van Dyke is so glad that he changed his name from "Penis Van Lesbian"

[–]dir3ctiondotcom 0 points1 point ago

This belongs in r/spacedicks

[–]DonJunbar 0 points1 point ago

says Fuzzy Dunlop!

[–]dhanson94 0 points1 point ago

My god, that was bothering the fuck out of me.

http://imgur.com/rKXZS

[–]lastrideelhs 0 points1 point ago

My response would be "no your mother wasn't complaining about my rocket penis" last night

[–]YUNoHaveMyUsername 0 points1 point ago

This had me "rolling" on the floor laughing. I was honestly "bawling!"

[–]GuitarsDoubleGuitars 1 point2 points ago

Vagina Coastguard.

[–]Jonny_Watts 0 points1 point ago

Shuttlecock Johnson

[–]BobLeBuilDerp 0 points1 point ago

I read that in Sterling Mallory's voice.

[–]dangerelton 0 points1 point ago

Yes, by my dick. ;)

[–]Marmar3000 0 points1 point ago

I thought they were called "birdies"

[–]Progman3K 0 points1 point ago

All three of them dream of being a disc

[–]CryWulf911[S] 0 points1 point ago

Woke up from a nap and I had almost 1500 Karma on this post.

So uh. Thank you I suppose.

[–]Collision21 0 points1 point ago

Dickship is also taken

[–]MrFalconGarcia 0 points1 point ago

this seems like a post for /r/Iam14andthisisfunny

[–]Narrenschifff 0 points1 point ago

A bit derivative of this bit from family guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2tVkNkOHsU

[–]slappy_nutsack 1 point2 points ago

Believe

[–]murderbum999 0 points1 point ago

He should get a personalised licence plate: SHTLCK

[–]Satafly 0 points1 point ago

I can't even remember where I first found this...4chan maybe? Twas ages ago

[–]SinisterWink 0 points1 point ago

'Rocket Penis' eh? Dibs on the band name!!!!

[–]declan_doesnt_know 0 points1 point ago

this is relevant to my interests

[–]KlopeksWithCoppers 0 points1 point ago

Noooooooo. I actually said this joke years ago and I thought I was original and funny. Apparently, I'm not a unique little snowflake.

[–]Gunner3210 0 points1 point ago

Back when I was a kid my mom always called it "cock" without knowing the more sinister meaning of the word.

I was only 9 or so at the time and I wasn't supposed to know these words, so I couldn't correct her. It was embarrassing when she said things like "Give me the cock" or "We need a new cock."

Edit: I should clarify that we are all immigrants, and back home the word "cock" meant only two things: the shuttlecock and the chicken.

[–]damarv 0 points1 point ago

Well, my favorite will always be "cockpit". Makes me smile.

[–]shnateyboy -1 points0 points ago

Repost x3

[–]Shuttlecock 1 point2 points ago

you have no idea how long I've waited for this thread.

[–]CryWulf911[S] 0 points1 point ago

Where's Rocketpenis when you need him?

[–]zeamaize 0 points1 point ago

I felt like this when meeting a guy at my work named Long Wang.

[–]Whatever_Trevor 0 points1 point ago

New Zealand's badminton team had the nickname the "black cocks"

[–]Kuri1997 0 points1 point ago

I read cracked too, talented comic writer.

[–]Taniwha_NZ -1 points0 points ago

I just don't understand why someone would bother making this. I mean, it's the lamest and most obvious joke that any 5-year-old who has played Badminton would already have thought of.

I find it almost impossible to get myself motivated to do stuff, even when I am certain my idea is original and interesting. I can't imagine why someone would think this was worth spending enough time on to illustrate.

It seems like brain damage to me.

[–]Brucenotsomighty 1 point2 points ago

And whenever somthing good is posted it gets downvoted.

[–]I_FISTED_MY_GRANDMA 0 points1 point ago

Your face is brain damage.

[–]E-rye 1 point2 points ago

I have never heard it called this before. It was either "shuttle" or "birdie". Why add a "cock" where it isn't needed?

[–]DrInMyMind 2 points3 points ago

I don't know badminton, but I assume the "cock" is do to the resemblance of a rooster tail. Not a pennis.

[–]Realworld 0 points1 point ago

Outside the US, shuttlecocks are normally made from cork, leather, and goose/duck feathers.

From wiki:

The "shuttle" part of the name was probably derived from its back-and-forth motion during the game, resembling the shuttle of a loom; the "cock" part of the name was probably derived from the resemblance of the feathers to those on a cockerel.

[–]TACOfarmerXD 0 points1 point ago

Billycock, shuttlecock

[–]Andy284 1 point2 points ago

There should be no shame in have a cock the size of the space shuttle.

[–]nomenMei 1 point2 points ago

Aye, but you'd spend two grand everytime you bought a pair of boxers.

[–]Andy284 0 points1 point ago

I'm sure someone would sponsor you.