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all 98 comments

[–]DidntClickGuy 57 points58 points ago

I do this all the time as a laugh. Someone says "it's going to be really cold on Friday, maybe even frost!" I reply, "fucking Obama."

[–]romulusnr 0 points1 point ago

This is exactly my kind of political satire. This is also exactly why half the time I get mis-identified as a conservative.

[–]TitoTheMidget 121 points122 points ago

I follow a religion that says to turn the other cheek so when someone doesn't believe the same as me I PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE. Love Jesus bro.

[–]thalescosta 29 points30 points ago

Ok, that's enough. Look at what Obama turned reddit into tho.

[–]sundogdayze 0 points1 point ago

punch

[–]MattioHimself16 3 points4 points ago

I hate people like that. I go to church and shit, but believe what you want, not my business.

[–]zbo900 71 points72 points ago

God damn I hate ignorant Christians

[–]romulusnr 1 point2 points ago

but you repeat yourself.

[–]pslee88 47 points48 points ago

punching him in the face is exactly what jesus wouldve done

[–]randomrealitycheck 18 points19 points ago

Absolutely. It's in the Bible.

[–]reali-tglitch 30 points31 points ago

"And Jesus said, 'If someone is to skip my father's name in anything he was included in originally, thou shalt deliver a divine beating of a single fist to their face." -Acts (of violence), 1:12

[–]The-Stranger 15 points16 points ago

Pretty good try, but god wasn't in the pledge originally.

[–]romulusnr 1 point2 points ago

Like that would fucking matter to them anyway.

[–]randomrealitycheck -1 points0 points ago

Tis a thing of beauty. I wept as I upvoted thee.

[–]ZannX 0 points1 point ago

"Under god" was not originally part of the pledge of allegiance.

[–]relawld -1 points0 points ago

"12 Then they returned to Jerusalem from the hill called the Mount of Olives, a Sabbath day's walk from the city."

http://www.biblestudytools.com/acts/passage.aspx?q=acts+1:12-14

[–]reali-tglitch 0 points1 point ago

I was not legitimately quoting anything. I was parodying.

(I am also terrible at detecting sarcasm, if that's what you are getting at.)

[–]romulusnr 0 points1 point ago

And the Lord spaketh, saying: "Blessed are those who can understand sarcasm and satire, for theirs is the internet." Rdt 10:6

[–]pumper911 -2 points-1 points ago

How can he? His arms are nailed to a cross..

..sorry.

[–]GunshyJedi 20 points21 points ago

As a christian my palm is squarely over my face. Most of us hate this kind of behavior just as much as the non-religious.

[–]mallardtheduck 9 points10 points ago

Agreed. Christians worship a God who submitted to be murdered by those who disagreed with Him, not one who punched them in the face.

[–]RemTar 0 points1 point ago

Dude. Don't be a dick.

EDIT: misread, please excuse me, i'm tired ;_;

[–]GunshyJedi 0 points1 point ago

This is the truth, unfortunately one that has slipped out of memory for many Christians.

[–]valleyshrew 0 points1 point ago

If Christianity required you to turn the other cheek to violence, no Christian country would be able to survive. Fortunately Jesus also said other things in the bible such as that every man should own a sword and bring mine enemies hither and slay them before me.

Also Jesus was hardly murdered, it's the very foundational belief of Christianity that he sacrificed himself to cleanse the sins of humanity. It's not rational at all for a Christian country to allow themselves to be murdered, nor is it a good thing to be a pacifist. There is the Christian just war theory.

[–]GunshyJedi 1 point2 points ago

I agree with what you're saying, and I'm not a strict pacifist who doesn't believe in any war. However in OP's post, there was no justifiable reason to hit the other kid, especially just because he didn't believe in God.

[–]dangerousphoenix 25 points26 points ago

I skip under God every time because this country was founded on the principles of religious freedom. Come at me bro!

[–]dermo529 15 points16 points ago

It was founded on the principle of religious freedom, not freedom from religion, PUNCH!

(btw this post was meant as a joke, I know what the constitution says)

[–]Iyoten 0 points1 point ago

Sadly, there are some who think that way.

[–]hairless_kiwi 11 points12 points ago

wow how christian of you to punch someone in the face.....

[–]The-Stranger 3 points4 points ago

I know right, he should of beheaded him instead, like they do in the bible.

*Edit-spelling

[–]Veteran4Peace 0 points1 point ago

You're thinking of the Q'uran.

[–]Narnian_Factor 1 point2 points ago

Tell Me where in the the Bible Christians are commanded to behead people.

[–]The-Stranger 1 point2 points ago

I was being sarcastic about the beheading. BUT, he should of killed the kid; 13:1 If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth theea sign or a wonder,

13:2 And the sign or the wonder come to pass, whereof he spake unto thee, saying, Let us go after other gods, which thou hast not known, and let us serve them;

13:3 Thou shalt not hearken unto the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams: for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

13:4 Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.

13:5 And that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be putto death; because he hath spoken to turn you away from the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed you out of the house of bondage, to thrust thee out of the way which the LORD thy God commanded theeto walk in.So shalt thou put the evil away from the midst of thee.

13:6 If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;

13:7 Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;

13:8 Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:

13:9 But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.

13:10 And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 13.

[–]Narnian_Factor 0 points1 point ago

You do realize that is in the Old Testament right? Even though Christians read the Old Testament still there are extremely few who follow the rules listed. It was part of the old covenant.

[–]The-Stranger 0 points1 point ago

There are NONE who follow these rules.

[–]xilpaxim 0 points1 point ago

Someone forgot to enable their sarcasm/joke detector this morning apparently.

[–]hairless_kiwi 1 point2 points ago

and then sent him to live in eternal fire and brimstone.

[–]EchoFiveTwo 8 points9 points ago

Would this not be considered a hate crime?

[–]Penetrecia 6 points7 points ago

Good point. If this in fact a real facebook post, this kid may have reason to pursue legal action based on more than just assault.

[–]BrokeTheInterweb 13 points14 points ago

If we don't punch them in the face, how will they know that Jesus is our lord and savior?

[–]Treedom_Lighter 25 points26 points ago

That dude deserved to be punched in the face. He attacked OP's religious freedom by not saying anything at all.

[–]randomrealitycheck 8 points9 points ago

What else could he do? This is a war on religion and someone has to fight back!

[–]zoom56 6 points7 points ago

Am I the only one here that gets sarcasm?

[–]depressiown 5 points6 points ago

Nope, I got it too.

[–]Veteran4Peace 2 points3 points ago

That bastard is probably waging a War on Christmas by not buying a bunch of cheap, plastic shit from Wal-Mart.

What a punk.

[–]romulusnr 1 point2 points ago

God damn commie, Murika is a Christian nation and we have the freedom to be Christian so we better do it.

[–]Treedom_Lighter 1 point2 points ago

Thank you, romulusnr, and thanks Urban Dictionary for teaching me yet another new word. Love it.

[–]oristhisjustfantasea 5 points6 points ago

How very Christ-like of him.

I mean, "get bent, asshole" people like this give religion a bad name.

[–]The-Stranger -3 points-2 points ago

Yes they do, as if religion didn't do that enough on its own.

[–]oristhisjustfantasea 0 points1 point ago

I'm more bothered by the Abrahamic factions myself.

[–]MyNameIsNotErin 3 points4 points ago

The funny thing is, I seriously don't even care about the suspended puncher. Guy was a douche, punched someone in the face.

It's his friend who thinks SOMEHOW that punching someone for not believing the same way you do and getting suspended for it is all Obama's fault. That's the part that makes me want to laugh and cry.

[–]Hewgag 4 points5 points ago

"That's very Christian; believe what I say or I'll hurt you." - Brian Griffin

[–]W00ster 4 points5 points ago

Pledge of allegiance or the American Hitler oath is a disgusting thing to begin with, who the fuck demands allegiance to a fucking country? Insane!

[–]romulusnr 0 points1 point ago

Country? Country is an afterthought. Step one is allegiance to a piece of fabric. Country comes later.

[–]Mi220ry 6 points7 points ago

Punched an atheist in the face... And WE'RE the spawns of satan. Right.

[–]amazinnn 5 points6 points ago

Although I doubt the veracity of this facebook screenshot, if it is in fact true it makes me very upset. Punching someone in the face is simply not the Christian thing to do.

[–]sarahoninternet 2 points3 points ago

Obama, man! If it weren't for him, I'd be punching jerks in the face on the regular.

[–]Jolu- 3 points4 points ago

This is the Christian equivalent of Muslims burning Embassies. Same Intention, just a smaller scale. If Christian Fundamentalists weren't so lazy, they'd burn stuff aswell. Its the same problem, just a different Name.

[–]goldman60 3 points4 points ago

Tell that to the people that blow up abortion clinics. And the crusades.

[–]vexios 3 points4 points ago

this is why Christians have a bad name

[–]jrackow -1 points0 points ago

Because someone conspires to post something that's likely untrue on Facebook.

[–]Narnian_Factor 0 points1 point ago

It only takes a few rotten apples to spoil the bunch, eh?

[–]Veteran4Peace 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, a few million rotten apples over the last two thousand years have really made Christianity look bad eh?

[–]Narnian_Factor -3 points-2 points ago

Million? I think you may be exaggerating just a tinge there buddy.

[–]Veteran4Peace 0 points1 point ago

Seriously? You don't think there have been at the very least a million violent Christians over the lifespan of the religion? I'm being generous by low-balling it so much.

[–]vexios 0 points1 point ago

I agree with you... It's amazing how many people are out there saying that they are Christian and teach love when it's a very very massive group of hypocrites

[–]meltdownup 2 points3 points ago

I gonna call bullshit on jesus boy punching anyone.

[–]msstitcher 0 points1 point ago

People are dumb!

[–]Shadowsdogs 0 points1 point ago

I don't say "under God" either, even in Catholic school, does that mean I deserve to be punched in the face?

[–]BBK2008 1 point2 points ago

Ship his redneck ass to a Muslim country where they behead him for not living Allah. That's real love of god.

[–]ayesdeeef -1 points0 points ago

sooooo glad I'm not like this anymore

[–]therealdavidvalley 0 points1 point ago

As a Catholic, many people forget that the First Amendment protects my right to believe and someone's right not to believe. I can worship my religion because other people have the freedom to worship what they want or don't want. Not only that, "one nation under God" does not mean "one nation under my religion." It means one nation that came together from many to be one people.

[–]idosillythings 0 points1 point ago

Man, and they say us Muslims are violent.

I feel like I'm just asking for punishment with this comment, but, I find it funny so I'll take what's coming to me.

[–]unknownman19 0 points1 point ago

Shit like this religious people... Follow our damned teachings, you are making the rest of us look bad!

[–]zakattack85 0 points1 point ago

Sonofabitch. I work all these years to convince people the correct way to spell Zak with with a K at the end and this asshole makes the front page for being a douche. Zach, Zack and Zac are still ridiculous ways to spell that name.

[–]well_hello_there_you 0 points1 point ago

Yes. Keep your violence too. Hey no.. Keep them both to yourself...

[–]Xurandor -2 points-1 points ago

Please don't make this into another /r/athiesm or /r/politics circlejerk..

[–]troyv21 0 points1 point ago

growing up in the bible belt, when i did this i was considered a smug smart ass and received quite a few threats.

[–]ogSPLICE 0 points1 point ago

Obamas 4 MORE YEARS! still cant figure out what normal sane person would want Romney in office, that's like getting that blind deaf girl to chauffeur you around..what was her name..Anne Frank?

[–]StiffSox 0 points1 point ago

I am sure that "Grant" took into account what Jesus would do whilst punching the other kid in the face.

[–]jody_dee 1 point2 points ago

I am certain that the reason I am home sick with a cold today is because of fucking Obama. Motherfucking germy socialist.

[–]ThorIsMyRealName 0 points1 point ago

I honestly don't think the names of these idiots should be blocked out on the screenshots - if only so we can avoid them in the real world.

[–]tokenwalrus 1 point2 points ago

"I punched him right in his face, for Jesus!"
"You punched him for Jesus?"
"That's right!"

[–]cabbadabbadoo 0 points1 point ago

Fucking douches!!!

[–]Red_Woody 0 points1 point ago

That status is like /r/atheism on opposite day.

[–]vernscustoms 0 points1 point ago

Wow by punching someone in the face because they don't agree with your views you might as well be as low as the extremist Muslim. Anyone who feels they should do something because someone else don't believe in what you believe in is just as big a tool as the president himself. People like you make me sick to my core. Fucking causing violence for something you can't even scientifically prove. Doesn't YOUR god teach peace and love?? Doesn't he teach to turn the other cheek? Lets say this fairy tale is true, Jesus would godly bitchslap you in the face and have a godly facepalm because that's not what he wanted. God doesn't need to be defended. If he is real he is all mighty and can handle himself. He doesn't need neanderthals like this to cause hurt and violence in his name.