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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]spark0 17 points18 points ago

When people ask how you lost it, they are usually asking how you did you find the inspiration and the determination to go through it and stick with it. As a fat person who asks this, this is what I mean when I ask how did you do it, not methods, I know the methods.

[–]allankcrain 142 points143 points ago

I've lost a bunch of weight over the past year and people are always "Wow, what's your secret?"

They're always disappointed when I reply "Eat less; exercise more"

[–]terp02andrew 13 points14 points ago

I think it's perspective too. Eating right is the best thing you could do for yourself. Eating right gets you much closer to maintenance than trying to 'out-exercise' your calorie intake. This very thought alone changed my thought-process about fast-food/fried food. It's like "no, I would not rather have to add another 2-days of working out to offset that meal." Heck, even if I did add those days of working out, I'm at a point where I don't want to put that kind of food in my body.

I'm not relying on a daily log, but I do always check labels/nutrition info online. Takes all of 30s to do before I head out of the house.

[–]lithiumburrito 77 points78 points ago

My family did this to me right after I lost weight. They were pretty impressed that I was able to lose a bit over 50 pounds, and asked how I did it. Well...I ate healthy. That was it. Just two straight years of not abusing my body.

I'm very, very anti-trans fat. Every Christmas we have a huge breakfast after we open presents--usually around 1 PM or so. Two years ago I discovered that each individual hash brown has 8 grams of trans far. EIGHT. They got pissed off at me when I said that no, I will no longer be partaking in hash browns, and offered to buy the plain shredded potatoes and cook them for myself (or the whole family!) next year. "You've eaten them every year for the past twenty two years and now you're too good for them?" I was fat when I was a kid, I got thin in high school via anorexia, and got fat again after college due to alcohol and food abuse. So fuck you if I don't want to eat your poison potato slivers.

Well, that felt good to get out.

Edit: How did no one point out that I had originally said "I will no longer be partaking in hash browns any longer." I'm dumb. Fixed.

[–]False_Nutmeg 46 points47 points ago

I share your family frustration! The whole, "but you already lost the weight, you don't have to eat healthy anymore" comments become grating pretty quick.

[–]gamermusclevideos 15 points16 points ago

Obviously you should only eat what you want to eat and you will be the only person to know if you can trust yourself to only eat "bad" foods minimally.

But in some ways I think having one or two days of the year as "eat bad food day" is not a bad idea.

Though I find when I exercise or eat well in general I start to find fatty foods or foods you know will make a negative impact on your goals quite repulsive.

[–]lithiumburrito 17 points18 points ago

I just have my limits, and even if they're nonsensical to my family they make perfect sense to me. I just weigh the pros and the cons--honestly, the hash browns are OK, but they're not mind-blowing; basically, they're not worth it. Such is a lot of my mom's cooking--the crappy alfredo sauce made with cream doesn't even begin to fix the huge, dry chicken breast it's swimming in.

Basically...I'll eat unhealthful foods if I think they're worth it, but most of the time they're not. My family doesn't get it.

[–]MentalOverload 4 points5 points ago

Since no one pointed out your error before, I might as well let you know that you just said the alfredo is swimming in chicken breast.

[–]lithiumburrito 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, that one's just poor pronoun use. Or maybe there's just an absurd amount of chicken breast and I was being artful with my words? Yeah, that's it. I was painting a picture, just not the picture you expected.

(But in all seriousness, thanks. I'm going to leave it intact, but I appreciate it.)

[–]MentalOverload 2 points3 points ago

Or maybe there's just an absurd amount of chicken breast

This made me laugh! I'm going to pretend that it's what you meant. And no problem!

[–]option_i 4 points5 points ago

I have one day a month when I eat whatever the Fuck I want, then back to business.

[–]goodsam1 3 points4 points ago

I used to think that trans fats were not so bad... once I found that they were created in the 80's. I was like, there should be more testing on this sort of shit.

[–]lithiumburrito 2 points3 points ago

This may or may be true, but here's what I learned about fats--

Unsaturated fats make your good cholesterol go up and the bad go down.

Saturated fats make your bad cholesterol go up and doesn't affect your good cholesterol.

Trans fats make your bad cholesterol go up and your good cholesterol go down. Terrifying. Maybe false, though.

[–]captainblammo 8 points9 points ago

You can't eat poorly 1 meal out of the year for tradition and family's sake?

[–]lithiumburrito 17 points18 points ago

I don't abstain from the entire meal, just the hash browns.

And I do eat poorly at times, but it has to be worth it. Soggy, greasy hash browns aren't worth it, even for tradition and family's sake.

[–]Duke_of_New_York 20 points21 points ago

This can't be said enough. If you're gonna be shitty, make sure it's worth it.

[–]ThisIsNotAFunnyName 0 points1 point ago

But if it really means something to your family, even if it's such a tiny thing like eating those hash browns, isn't that worth it?

[–]Duke_of_New_York 7 points8 points ago

nah

[–]brandalini 7 points8 points ago

Exactly, save your cheat meals for food that you actually WANT to eat!

[–]trbngr 2 points3 points ago

Where did all the trans fat come from? Isn't hash browns essentially just fried shredded potatoes?

[–]lithiumburrito 6 points7 points ago

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.

I think they're actually pre-fried and then you just heat them up in the microwave or on a griddle. Apparently part of the pre-frying process involves partially hydrogenated oils.

[–]trbngr 3 points4 points ago

The American obesity problem is becoming more and more understandable.

[–]lithiumburrito 2 points3 points ago

To be fair to my family, none of us are (or ever have been) obese. Even when I gained all my weight I was fat, but not huge. But yeah, some of the food here is just...despicable.

[–]FishTacos 2 points3 points ago

If you make them homemade they will have 0 trans fat.

[–]lithiumburrito 2 points3 points ago

Yeah but that involves shredding potatoes. You can buy frozen, pre-shredded potatoes that have 0g of fat altogether. Lazy, yes, but I'm just being realistic.

[–]chiropter 13 points14 points ago

Call me crazy, but I think what people want to hear is how you managed hunger and still be a functioning human being. Not a truism.

[–]IhateToronto 11 points12 points ago

My answer: Waking up at 3:15 to get to bootcamp at 5:30 before work, so I don't try to talk myself out of exercising when I get home.

[–]allankcrain 11 points12 points ago

A similar thing worked for me. Got a membership at the gym. I found that it wasn't too hard to get myself to go to the gym in the morning (well, unless I'd stayed out really late the previous night), and it wasn't hard to get myself to go exercise once I'd gotten there, so I effectively split the motivational burden of exercise in half. Made it a lot more manageable.

And as for eating less, it was a combination of stress, loneliness, laziness, and poverty. Easy!

[–]IhateToronto 2 points3 points ago

yeah, it's so much harder to workout at the end of the day....

[–]Init_4_the_downvotes 7 points8 points ago

Most people like me just dont know what to eat. I have lost weight here in there but I have no clue on what types of foods I should be eating, I am a college student having to live on a budget so I generally just by cheap food. Also I have visited the subreddits here but they are all about people who lost weight and never their diets or the types of exercises. I actually cant run more than 15 min because of my bad knees but everyone just says run more fatass eat less. Well that doesnt help me.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

I'm sorry you've encountered so many vicious, spiteful people like the upthread poster, I hope you have better luck with your weightloss plans in the future.

Swimming is a really good option if it's available to you, I have bad knees too and swimming helped both with losing weight and improving my knees. It can be hard if you're self-conscious about your body but it's worth it to get past that.

[–]markycapone 3 points4 points ago

well, I'm kind of in the same boat. my diet is still evolving as I learn more about nutrition. basically just eat lean meats (if your not a vegetarian) and vegetables for meals. fruits for snacks. other good snacks include yogurt (greek for no fat/high protein) nuts, string cheese. there's even deserts that are ok, I found popsicles that are only 50 calories and are made out of real fruit.

If you're on a budget (like myself) I buy a lot of pre cooked chicken and beef. cook them up in some peppers and throw some hot sauce on it. chicken is your friend. high protein very low calories. basically you want to eat less calories than you use in a day.

running for 15 minutes is great. but don't hurt yourself. if you have a gym membership, try an eliptical machine, or a bike. if those are too harsh on your knee, you can try swimming. or walk. walking is good excercise. If you're adding weight training, make sure to do complex movements. such as squats, deadlifts, and benchpresses. complex movements are way more beneficial than isolation moves ie bicep curls. (complex means many moving multiple joints, and using multiple muscle groups at once. isolation means 1 joint moving, isolating 1 muscle or group.) your body doesn't work in isolation, the best results, and actual strength will come from using your body as it was intended to be used. also, you will spend less time working out. a pullup for example will work most of your back, your traps, and your biceps and shoulders. weighted lunges will work every muscle in your legs at once, and make you hate your life for a couple days after, but it is 1 excercise that will take you 5 minutes. as opposed to spending 30 minutes isolating each muscle.

the most important thing to remember is, anything is better than nothing. going for a 15 minute run or a 30 minute walk is far better than not doing anything because you are overwhelmed.

[–]allankcrain 2 points3 points ago

  1. It's 2012, so you probably own a smartphone. Download an app to track your weight and your food. I use LoseIt. Configure it.
  2. Look at the back of packages of food. Note there is a calorie count. That is how many calories the food contains.
  3. When you eat something, record the calorie count of the food in the app from step 1
  4. Try to ensure that the amount of calories you eat is less than the calories burned by your base metabolic rate and any exercise you do in the day.

You don't have to run. 90% of the exercising I do is just walking for thirty minutes a day. You don't have to know "what to eat", you can pretty much just reduce it to calories consumed - calories burned.

The big thing is just to track what you're eating. Even if you have to make wild guesstimates on the calorie count, still record it. Get into the habit. That alone will keep you in a weight-loss mindset and help you lose weight.

[–]drewbdoo 5 points6 points ago

I lost mine on Keto, so it was fun for a while saying "Hot wings, cheese sticks and bacon cheeseburgers with a fried egg on top, hold the bun."

Now though, I just say cocaine and walk away.

[–]Triette 7 points8 points ago

Exactly, they want some magical secret. They don't want to hear that they have to work for it.

[–]ReadyThor 2 points3 points ago

Actually there is a way to lose weight that doesn't involve any diet or exercise.

Extreme distress.

[–]yousirnaime 2 points3 points ago

And Meth

[–]SanchoDeLaRuse 14 points15 points ago

"I gave sacrifice to Hermes and Tantalus."

[–]Schlorbian 277 points278 points ago

It's like when you cut your hair, and people ask "Did you cut your hair?"

"Naw, man, it just grows inward sometimes, it's hard to explain."

[–]MentalOverload 201 points202 points ago

Either that, or they're asking so that they can give you a compliment. Crazy, I know.

...but I still chuckled at your comeback. Best I've heard other than the other overused one.

[–]i_can_paint_that 44 points45 points ago

The fuck is a compliment?

[–]DemonicAmoeba 62 points63 points ago

It's something which can be said repeatedly in exchange for intercourse.

[–]i_can_paint_that 41 points42 points ago

Oh. So it's kinda like money?

[–]DemonicAmoeba 26 points27 points ago

Or cocaine, yes.

[–]icouldbewrongbut 5 points6 points ago

I like money and sex. Hey, lets go to Starbucks!

[–]PeabnutBubber 5 points6 points ago

You look amazing DemonicAmoeba, have you been working out?

[–]Way_too_poor 17 points18 points ago

Okay, fella. I've had enough of this. DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT PAINT SHIT?!

[–]ruled_by_fear 20 points21 points ago

He doesn't.

But he can.

[–]i_can_paint_that 8 points9 points ago

ARE YOU WAY TOO POOR?

[–]Way_too_poor 6 points7 points ago

Do you always answer questions with another one of your own?

[–]Way_too_poor 10 points11 points ago

I DON'T NEED YOUR STINKIN LEMON! I'll just leave my 1 doll hair in the tip jar so you can buy some REAL paint you great big phony.

[–]i_can_paint_that 7 points8 points ago

I've got colored pencils at my house, if that would loosen your sphincter.

[–]the_girl 77 points78 points ago

My favorite thing to say when people ask, "Did you get a hair cut?" is "No, I got em ALL cut." Har haaarrrr

[–]I_Key_Cars 9 points10 points ago

My great great grandpa used to tell that joke too.

[–]Breathing_Balls 19 points20 points ago

Even.........downstairs?

[–]_Toranaga_ 37 points38 points ago

Especially downstairs.

[–]metropolisprime 17 points18 points ago

I read your username as Topanga. And immediately went into a Boy Meets World fantasy. Mmmm. Topanga.

[–]_Toranaga_ 2 points3 points ago

[–]SweetTeef 4 points5 points ago

She goes to my school. That's right folks. The real Topanga has graced my presence while I was learning stuff.

[–]the_girl 4 points5 points ago

You know it.

[–]Phyics_Son 1 point2 points ago

girl, you so funny! Hold on, while i give you a z-snap. mm-mm-mm

[–]makopolo2001 3 points4 points ago

This is also my reply when someone asks if I have a boner.

[–]puravida1024 2 points3 points ago

It shrank in the wash.

[–]Yunlokzi 3 points4 points ago

To be fair, because this happened to my boss recently, a coworker told her how much she loved her new hair cut. All she did was style it differently. So, y'know, some people ask just to be sure.

[–]heymrk 23 points24 points ago

Teacher here. The teacher across the hall from me is unbelievably fat and incredibly hyper religious. I busted my ass through diet and exercise and lost a bunch of weight over the summer. At the first faculty meeting before school started, she waddled up to me and said, "Mr. K, how did you lose so much weight?"

I looked right at her and without hesitation, I whispered in her ear, saying, "I sold my soul to the devil."

She proceeded to freak the fuck out and has not spoken to me since then.

EDIT: She goes out of her way to sit across the room from me at faculty meetings. Waddles back into her classroom when I get close and hardly even looks at me. It's hilarious. I don't even believe in the devil.

[–]dasrhombus 7 points8 points ago

Even if this is a lie, you are awesome.

[–]heymrk 3 points4 points ago

All true.

[–]twforeman 2 points3 points ago

Pure gold.

[–]Birdslapper 70 points71 points ago

People like that always say it like they've tried everything and they've exhausted ALL their efforts trying to lose weight and get fit.

[–]MaxSoftcore 59 points60 points ago

I've tried every fad diet for over a week and every miracle cure and super-food and nothing works!!

[–]i_can_paint_that 30 points31 points ago

I drank diet coke!

[–]DrBeardface2 21 points22 points ago

not to be a hater but if you are trying to cut calories this can be a fantastic plan, people have no clue how much calories they drink. I mean its not going to give you a six pack, but I guarantee that someone with weight problems will drop a few pounds if they give up sugary drinks

edit: I know this is a joke I'm just putting this here as to encourage people making hard decisions, just because people make jokes about it doesn't mean its a bad idea

[–]SofaProfessor 2 points3 points ago

I clicked on countless internet ads!

[–]Sepulchural 34 points35 points ago

My singer (female, 5'9") literally eats about 1400 to 1500 calories of food a day, does about an hour a day on a stationary bicycle and she also goes to boxing training two to three times a week. She stays at around 200 but to get any lower she has to reduce her calories to a point where she starts to feel like she might faint (or unable to feint when doing boxing training har har). She has no cravings or bad habits, has never desired to overeat. She is an extreme example but they do exist. By the way, I've known her for 24 years, this isn't an idle observation on my part.

Admittedly she is VERY strong for a girl by the way. All the girls in her family are.

[–]ediciusNJ 11 points12 points ago

I'm no doctor, but it could be a thyroid issue too.

[–]jimbo831 25 points26 points ago

Has she had her hormone levels checked. It could be a physical problem that medicine might help. She also could be cheating on her diet. If you are burning more calories in a day than you eat, you will lose weight, it is very simple.

So either this woman is eating more calories than she says, or her body is burning less calories than it should, and that should be addressed by her doctor.

[–]Sepulchural 14 points15 points ago

She is on medicine to regulate her hormones and specifically she has a thyroid medicine.

No, every female in her (fairly big) family is shaped and sized like her, and one of them runs like 30 miles per week (but she eats a lot lol). They are all big girls. I probably should have mentioned they are all half Samoan.

[–]audacian 4 points5 points ago

She might have metabolic syndrome from eating so little.

[–]AslanMaskhadov 6 points7 points ago

Bullshit.

Most people eat in secret.

[–]Sepulchural 10 points11 points ago

As much as I love my singer like a sister to me, I have to face the facts that she might be kidding us and herself on this, as you say. But she has made great progress . She went from 300 to 200, for that I applaud her. She did this over about four years. I think her target weight is same as mine (185) [edit: same as the weight I hope to get down to as well, I'm 220 atm]. She is 5'9" and pretty muscular (all the girls in her family are) and all joking aside, she is big-boned and a very big girl. She's part Samoan if that helps give you an idea. I'm a dude and not exactly weak, but I swear she can out dead lift me.

[–]silvrsable 10 points11 points ago

What do you mean by "your singer." Is she like.. the singer of your band? Or have you enslaved a singer for your personal entertainment?

[–]Farts_Smell 5 points6 points ago

What a weird slave to have.

"Holland, 1945! Now!"

starts singing

[–]cdavis7m 5 points6 points ago

This is physically impossible. Let me explain.

She's eating 1,500 calories a day but at 5'9" and 200lbs she's burning at least 1,700-1,800 a day. And she's burning 1,500 calories on the stationary bike each week. She should be at a calories deficit of around 3,000 calories a week, which is almost a pound. She must not be counting all her calories.

My advice for her? Eat more lean protein which is very filling (tuna, chicken, lean beef) and never snack or drink soda. Also, more time on the bike wouldn't hurt.

If all you eat is Chicken/Tuna, rice, and vegetables it is almost impossible for a person to over eat calories.

[–]Sepulchural 5 points6 points ago

I'll have to ask her. It's possible that she is still losing weight, I haven't asked her if she is. Edit: she said it was a real bear to get to 200, it's possibly just my assumption that she has not gotten past it, I haven't seen her in four weeks.

Her food is delivered to her in specific quantities. She pays like $300 a month for this. I'll see if I can get hold of her today and ask her what the name of the program is. They also periodically do tests on her.

[–]skelooth 28 points29 points ago

Calorie breakdown, energy consumption, and "metabolic functions" are regulated by a complicated system of glands. Calories vs weight are a very poor indicator of metabolic function.

In other words, get off your high horse. You don't know "how it works" beyond bodybuilding.com broscience, because REAL scientists don't even know "how it works" yet.

[–]thelittlestsquid 5 points6 points ago

Thank you so much for this.

[–]SmokinSickStylish 5 points6 points ago

hahahaha.... oh, wow.... <wipes tears>, nothing has ever been said as often as this should be said on fitness related websites and subreddits. Can I buy you a drink?

[–]skelooth 10 points11 points ago

Yes, yes you may. I'll have a water :)

But yeah, broscience is a little surreal. On one hand you have droves of self proclaimed "experts" who are either life long athletes or weight loss success stories who think they know everything, then on the other hand you have real medical researchers who are the first to admit that our working knowledge of nutrition is still extremely primitive compared to other sciences.

[–]the-d-man 7 points8 points ago

I recently lost about 40 lbs just from making better lifestyle choices. I wasn't noticeably overweight before so when the weight came off, my co workers really noticed. I found it funny that the fat ones immediately assumed I was sick with cancer or something. Like its totally impossible to just eat right and exercise.

[–]Birdslapper 2 points3 points ago

good work man that's some amazing progress. I have out of shape friends that I tell EXACTLY what to do and they never get around to doing it

[–]MaxSoftcore 3 points4 points ago

I've been through that when I lost 40 pounds, and then I went through it the other way when I started lifting weights and eating a lot and bulked up 30 pounds, but with muscle this time. People started asking if I was on steroids.

The lesson is: People just can't believe it's possible to achieve anything through hard work.

[–]Jessereddit 11 points12 points ago

Is that Tranformers?

[–]stniesen 2 points3 points ago

Looks like Eagle Eye to me.

[–]SilverXaxis 11 points12 points ago

No, it's Even Stevens.

[–]Jessereddit 11 points12 points ago

Shia Laboof, though, yes?

[–]MattJ016 11 points12 points ago

Yep, it's him from when he was on SNL.

[–]BloominFunyun 14 points15 points ago

It's not rocket surgery. Proper diet and consistent exercise. The hard part is keeping it up. I've got 25 more pounds to go to hit my goal weight (175lbs) and my biggest concern is keeping up proper eating habits and exercise once I get there.

[–]phasmy 7 points8 points ago

I see your degree in rocket surgery proved useful here.

[–]IhateToronto 4 points5 points ago

That's my cycle too, once you "get there", you then take a week off, then another week, and another....

I just completed my goal of a Tough Mudder after training for 6 months and I sincerely had to look myself in the mirror and say, "Don't you dare get lazy again."

[–]alltomata 94 points95 points ago

Or instead of being a total fuckhead you could thank the coworker and give him / her some tips.

[–]sambojomo 22 points23 points ago

Eat less, move more.

[–]Arquis001 11 points12 points ago

Eat less better, move more.

[–]vitlrfti 6 points7 points ago

Calories are calories, bub.

[–]markycapone 15 points16 points ago

yes, but for the same amount of calories you could eat 8 chicken breasts or one Big Mac meal.

EDIT: just did the math, and you can eat 12.5 chicken breasts, for the amount of 1 large big mac meal with a coke.

[–]zomgwtfbbq 45 points46 points ago

Meh, if you've ever tried doing this for real you know it's a waste of time. After a while you get tired of explaining to people what they have to do because they never want to do it. Why do you think there is a continuous flow of new and expensive fad diets / workout plans? Because they all somehow manage to convince people that they can get in shape while doing almost nothing and eating like a bloody elephant. The fact is, it takes some work and some self-discipline and no one wants to hear about that.

[–]Lellux 29 points30 points ago

I disagree. I used one of those fancy ab machines 5 minutes a month, and I went from this:

Before

To this: After

[–]HW_Plainview 11 points12 points ago

Bro your progress is amazing.

[–]Sabastiaan 14 points15 points ago

This. Wanna know the real story? It's boring.

I ate at a caloric deficit, bringing my calories to 1500 a day, and lost 40 pounds over the summer. I did this by dieting and lifting weights. Then I bulked (increased calories to put on weight, muscle+fat). Then I cut (lost a bit of fat so I could finally see my abs).

[–]Triette 13 points14 points ago

Work out, eat healthy. Done.

[–]dr_dickhead 1 point2 points ago

It's called working out and eating less calories. How fuckin hard is that for you to grasp?

[–]buckystars -2 points-1 points ago

This. OP is a dick.

[–]CDchrysalis 14 points15 points ago

People that don't do their own research, don't do.

OP is a realist.

[–]Stoli604 9 points10 points ago

yea, how dare he not reveal his secret to weight loss, eat less.

[–]leedorham 28 points29 points ago

The other day an enormotron that works in the office with me was bragging about how she found out she did not have to pay back her student loans because of her 'disability' (she's super fat, like holy shit fat). Apparently that is one of the only ways out of student loan debt.
An hour later I walked by her desk and she was eating a giant cookie and what appeared to be a sandwich made from a pig that was fed only ranch dressing.
I understand certain people have genetic predisposition to weight gain, but I've yet to meet someone who lives a healthy, responsible lifestyle and weighs so much they need a hoveround.

[–]sambojomo 1 point2 points ago

I work in a restaurant, there are certainly trends that I notice among certain groups.

[–]Steadman 9 points10 points ago

Don't be an asshole, people are genuinely ignorant. They don't understand the science of it and truly believe they need to starve themselves. If you instruct them on simple diet techniques they too can save their own lives.

[–]wildlyoscillate 3 points4 points ago

The unicorn horn glitter twinkle is perfectly timed, almost like...

[–]IhateToronto 3 points4 points ago

I'm a school bus driver and 98% of them are GIGANTIC. I went hardcore in January to complete Tough Mudder last month. My body has completely changed and frankly, I look great.

The question I get: Why do you do all of that work?

[–]dog_hair_dinner 11 points12 points ago

You're kind of being a douchebag. Weight loss is hard as fuck for a normal person, but some people who struggle and don't know that they're struggling because of a physical problem i.e. hormonal issues, medication side effects, etc. can be walking around confused as to why what they're doing, which might work for someone else i.e. you is not working for them. Shitty comments and assumptions from a judgemental asshole riding on his high horse don't help anyone. Don't assume every fat person abuses their body just because you did.

[–]thekindred 5 points6 points ago

It is the extremely rare and random person like you, on Reddit, that manages to keep me coming back.

[–]canquilt 2 points3 points ago

Sure, it's easy to lose weight when all you eat for dinner is dog hair...

[–]JankBoy 5 points6 points ago

I think that's Doug Henning. He was the shit from what I understand. David Blaine of his day...

[–]9212 3 points4 points ago

It's an impersonation of Doug.

He was more like the Jim Henson of magic.

[–]s0much2say 0 points1 point ago

deleted

[–]bored_man_child 2 points3 points ago

I still think it's Shia Lebouf and these people are all crazy.

[–]Drakonisch 6 points7 points ago

It is Shia. He's doing a parody of Doug Henning on SNL.

[–]Code_For_Food 3 points4 points ago

http://imgur.com/Jy9LA

It is, and he was, but no, he wasn't the David Blaine of his day. David Blaine is a hack.

[–]Colempe 4 points5 points ago

For his final trick, he turns into Geena Davis.

[–]caryhartline 3 points4 points ago

I'm not sure if this is in other countries, but it seems like Americans are always trying to find a work-around to eating well and exercising. There are no secrets. I'm pretty sure that if fast food chains and vending machines closed across America for one year; our obesity epidemic would be no more.

[–]ProximaC 8 points9 points ago

Is that a GIF of a man being a condescending asshole?

[–]Chester_McDougle 160 points161 points ago

you know, this "fat coworker" was genuinely interested in your weight loss and subtly complimenting you on how you looked. and you...you goddamn prick. wise guy, arrogant prick, not only use an un-funny gif to lie about how how you reacted to this completely standard real world scenario. You in your sick perverted head feel superior to your coworker because he is just a fat idiot to you. Next time smile, thank him, and maybe even offer him some advice instead of goin on reddit and trolling the shit out of this poor bastard. I hate you you goddamn nerd. toughguy you faggot. lol he "busted his ass at the gym"

[–]chefmcduck 26 points27 points ago

Clark Griswold just posted on Reddit. Here is a Tylenol.

[–]SonsOfLiberty86 6 points7 points ago

It's a beaut, Clark.

[–]GrooveArmada 26 points27 points ago

What the fuck is this?

[–]bfogarty27 8 points9 points ago

and there are really that many people that upvoted it? I can't imagine who the people were who nodded their heads in approval and clicked...

[–]DatCheshireCat 10 points11 points ago

it's true...because in real life it definitely didn't go down like that. this is reddit, where projected fantasies come alive and are then circlejerked for sweet, precious karma. that dude above just hasn't realized how reddit works yet, but i applaud his bravado and honesty.

[–]UserNumber42 54 points55 points ago

Uh... he lost weight like every person in the history of everything lost weight. He ate better and worked out. Your response is far more douchy than the OP's silly joke.

[–]mrpopenfresh 7 points8 points ago

To be fair you can lose weight by walking 6 hours a day like you can lose weight by becoming an amateur boxer or whatever. Maybe he was asking about activities.

[–]Horong 29 points30 points ago

Everyone knows this, but think of it from OP's fat co-worker's perspective. Having witness a fellow fatso lose all this weight, the fat co-worker may be more inclined to believe OP's advice, rather than Bruce McMusclemilk.

[–]UserNumber42 13 points14 points ago

I'm someone who recently lost 40 pounds. And it's amazing the excuses and 'worries' people create. It's not hard and it's not complicated. It's simply a matter of desire*. If that co-worker wanted to lose weight, he/she would have started by now. You can't do it for anyone or anything else, you have to do it for yourself. That person isn't ready yet.

  • Before I get a ton of people yelling me, I'll admit that there are edge cases and people who are so far gone that they actually need a lot of help, this is a tiny minority. For most people, eating well and excising is all it takes.

[–]FOmar151 7 points8 points ago

People don't believe that it isn't complicated. It isn't, but they don't believe it. Hearing it from someone they know who did it might convince them.

[–]ReverendDizzle 3 points4 points ago

And it's amazing the excuses and 'worries' people create.

This is because they're trying to maintain a homeostatic balance in their immediate environment.

Just about everyone who has ever adopted a healthier lifestyle has had to deal with bullshit from all the people around them. Those people want everyone in their environment to be like them. It's OK to be obese if everyone else is, right? It's OK to not exercise if everyone else in your family/at work/on the block/whatever is also going home and sitting their obese asses down for 4 hours of TV every night, right?

Anyone who comes along and is like "Oh hey! I stopped shoveling junk food in my mouth by the pound and started working out... and look what happened!" is rocking the boat. The standard defense against that is tell them that it will backfire, encourage them to start eating the bad food again, and otherwise consciously or unconsciously sabotage them.

I'll give you an example. I've been on a ketogenic "diet" for some time now (I put diet in quotes because even though it's a dietary plan it doesn't really feel like it... it feels like awesome). Despite the fact that I've lost a ton of weight, put on a ton of muscle, have tons of energy, my cholesterol and blood pressure dropped, and I am clearly happier and healthier than I was before I started... people still feel the need to tell me all about how they think it's a bad idea, how I'm killing myself with a high-fat/low-carb diet, etc. etc. Usually they're telling me these things while plowing through a cupcake or shoving pretzels in their mouth like they're trying to win the Diabetes Race.

It comes down to the fact that they want their environment to stay the same. If I lose weight, get healthier, and look great... they no longer have the "but everyone around me is this way" security blanket.

[–]carlfish 1 point2 points ago

I'm someone who recently lost 40 pounds.

This is kind of like being smug about quitting smoking the day after your "last" cigarette. More than 80% of people who lose weight get it back, often with interest, within two years.

Sure, you're in the flush of "anyone can do it" right now, but that doesn't change the fact that you had that extra 40lbs to begin with. It was there for a reason. That reason hasn't gone away, you've just instituted a few temporary behaviours to suspend its existence.

And you feel that gives you the right to dispense the glorious wisdom of your achievement before you've actually done the hard part.

[–]UserNumber42 6 points7 points ago

It's been off for over a year. When you're 30, a year ago is 'recently'. I exercise 5 days a week and eat healthy, it's not coming back unless I choose to stop living healthy. It's that easy.

That reason hasn't gone away, you've just instituted a few temporary behaviours to suspend its existence.

Yes it has gone away. Who are you? The reason, like tha vast majority of people, was because I ate too much and didn't exercise. Again, it's not complicated.

And you feel that gives you the right to dispense the glorious wisdom of your achievement before you've actually done the hard part.

You sound angry. It's simply a choice. Suffer the pain of restraint or suffer the pain of regret.

[–]ratjea 4 points5 points ago

The normal "success" metric for weight loss is five years. One year is great; keep it up — but to be honest you aren't yet in a position to lecture or preen.

Sincere kudos on your accomplishment.

[–]heatherdazy 1 point2 points ago

Bruce McMusclemilk might be the funniest thing I've seen on Reddit.

[–]nagsnyder 20 points21 points ago

Can someone not make a joke anymore? I doubt this even actually occurred; if it makes you laugh, laugh. If not, don't be a dick when OP is simply trying to make us laugh with something that he probably thought up on the toilet.

[–]newloaf 21 points22 points ago

Wow, dial it down a notch yo. I'm sure the OP didn't freak the fuck out (like you just did) and reduce his coworker to a sniveling, quivering, suicidal upside-down pudding cake. It's just a joke, fat ass.

[–]zublits 28 points29 points ago

Let me guess, you're fat?

[–]Delvil 7 points8 points ago

Er, by his comment I would guess he is not fat, in fact more likely he is a guy who goes to the gym regularly.

Why? The part where he says

lol he "busted his ass at the gym"

To me, this sets the true tone for the entirety of his comment, and is pretty much the sole reason I didn't just make an "ick" face at what he said. You "busted your ass" huh? You went to the gym for a couple months dude, lol get over yourself.

[–]GrooveArmada 14 points15 points ago

Definitely a porker.

[–]Triette 17 points18 points ago

Or maybe they should stop asking stupid questions. Diet and exercise isn't a secret. I'm tired of people asking me how I stay fit, or have lost weight and when I say I work out and eat right, I usually get the same "oh, I'm not gonna do that" reply. There is no magic bullet, I work hard and I shouldn't have to play nice with people who are too lazy to do the same. I know not all people are lazy and some truly have "weight issues" that goes beyond diet and exercise, but for most of the people I know who are fat, that's not the case. Lazy people piss me off. /rant

[–]SeaLegs 16 points17 points ago

If you're smart enough to assume weight loss is attributed to diet and exercise, you should be smart enough to understand the question being asked probably is looking for more than "caloric deficit".

I mean, a question like this could just be a conversational opener into diet techniques, workout regimens, keto, HIIT, etc.

The issue is that the formerly fat ass OP suddenly feel superior because of his/her weight loss and assumes the coworker is asking the question in the stupidest sense. OP may be fit, but is still socially retarded.

[–]HW_Plainview 7 points8 points ago

There are many different ways to lose weight though. Possible answers could include- I started running 5 days a week, I joined a rowing team, I found a workout buddy who keeps me honest, I took up crossfit yadda yadda yadda.

OP sounds like a douchenozzle..

Edit: Fuck, I just looked at the person who I defendeds comment history. Please downvote me.

[–]WolfOne 0 points1 point ago

obliged

[–]marishtar 2 points3 points ago

Yes. You know more about the context than the OP.

[–]sambojomo 8 points9 points ago

Whoa, calm down there chubs. Have a snack cake or something.

[–]Dutchforce 3 points4 points ago

You're being a much bigger douche than OP. You sound like OP personally offended you or something

[–]boxcar1 11 points12 points ago

Downvoted for that homophobic bullshit at the end there. Asshole.

[–]1Avion1 13 points14 points ago

Seriously, that's what earned the downvote? Not the retarded lump of vitriol that preceded it?

[–]scruffy01 -1 points0 points ago

Yep, these faggots are really butthurt about the word faggot.

[–]chefmcduck 0 points1 point ago

ISN'T HE REFERRING TO A PILE OF WOOD?!

[–]bejayel 1 point2 points ago

You must be fat.

The question "How did you lose so much weight" is a stupid one. You lose weight by not being a lazy fuck who watches tv and drinks coke all day. It's not exactly rocket science.

When you ask me stupid questions, you get stupid answers. OP is implying that the question is stupid, thus the answer is equally as stupid. There is no "feeling superior" going on.

[–]bobbieluvsya 1 point2 points ago

The thing is, it's not that stupid. They could have meant specific tips, good gyms in the area, whatever. This goes double considering they work together, and thus probably share the same sort of schedule and physical exertion on the job- if it's the sort of thing where you get called in a day in advance, for example, a meeting every Tuesday evening with a personal trainer could be out of the question.

[–]thekindred 5 points6 points ago

Truly adult and mature of you. Now that you finally got "fit" you feel like you are above them and have the right to treat them like shit. I doubt it would be that exasperatingly difficult to simply share with them what you did exactly so that maybe they might be inspired and motivated to follow in your foot steps to better themselves.

[–]Mother_of_Three 9 points10 points ago

Calories in < calories out

Boom weight loss magic.

[–]CalebisReal 0 points1 point ago

Is that Shia Lebouef?!

[–]Questmuncher332 3 points4 points ago

Yes, that is him in his natural environment. He was born to do comedy like Even Stevens, not the bull shit he does now.

[–]CampCariboo 0 points1 point ago

When people comment and say I've lost weight I usually don't like how they comment cause it's non of their business so I lie and say ohhhh have I ? I don't know I don't have a scale I DO HAVE A SCALE :)

[–]akcom 2 points3 points ago

You post a before + after pic to /r/fitness + your routine!

[–]royboh 2 points3 points ago

They're not asking how you did it, they're asking how you mustered up the willpower to do it.

[–]AwkwardGypsy 2 points3 points ago

I dont get why people complain that they are fat an try 100s of diets for 1 week and complain why it doesnt work.eat less and healthyer,excercise more repeat 100 time CONGRATULATIONS you lost weight

[–]wtfmanquestionmark 2 points3 points ago

At my last job there was a lady who was easily 300-400 pounds of tender lady meat. We sat in a group area and would always talk about random shit and she would always talk about her diet and exercise plan. Then everyday she would come back from lunch with a fucking Whopper, large fries and a tub or coke.

I finally asked her what her routine was and she said, "I walk to the end of my street and back twice."

I declined to say anything vocally but I was shouting at her.

[–]MrRykler 4 points5 points ago

ITT: fat people hating on OP vs. people who can laugh at a joke.

[–]andrewsmd87 1 point2 points ago

hahaha, I hate that. I always get, not everyone can be as skinny as you. I just smile and think, actually everyone can, just stop being a lazy fuck and workout.

[–]Alymsin 2 points3 points ago

Sorry, never seen the skit before, but it looks as if he is saying either a few things.

  • Bastard
  • Fascist
  • Mashing
  • Bashing
  • idk, it could be a few others of course

[–]NugL0ve 12 points13 points ago

Magic.

[–]dan678 1 point2 points ago

Magic

[–]IhateToronto 2 points3 points ago

He's playing Doug Henning, a massive magician in the 70's

[–]elfinsuave 3 points4 points ago

is that shai lebouf?

[–]James_Hacker 1 point2 points ago

What she actually means is "How did you do that, for so long, without killing yourself."

[–]imfinite -2 points-1 points ago

This is fucking rude as hell.

[–]CDchrysalis 4 points5 points ago

It becomes your go-to when precisely 100% of the people you tell either don't believe you (no really, what pills did you take?) or make excuses (I just don't have the time you have! ~fat lady with no kids and a buttload of excuses).

You put effort into educating people and they fail, and get mad at YOU for failing. "I swear I did everything you said" No you didn't.

Or you tell them, and they argue with you!!! "Oh, that can't possibly work!" Um. Wut?

Yes. I'm now rude as fucking hell if people ask me. I'll take my sanity over hurting their puny fucking feelers.

[–]mooose 1 point2 points ago

I must have this shirt!

[–]Turb0b00st 0 points1 point ago

What skit is this from?

[–]nagsnyder 0 points1 point ago

Blake?

[–]dagnart -1 points0 points ago

I can hear him speaking, even though I don't recognize the clip.

[–]imisssaku 1 point2 points ago

this gif is really getting around lately.

[–]ShitCtrlZCtrlZ 1 point2 points ago

Spanish Shia Labeouf?

[–]geekgroupie42 0 points1 point ago

it could have been cancer

[–]MTK67 0 points1 point ago

Actually, he lost all that weight by personally hunting all his food.

[–]Misha_Vozduh 0 points1 point ago

Just say it's good genetics and eat a pizza while he watches.

[–]lusciouslou 1 point2 points ago

I thought he was saying, "pasta."

[–]BrokenYozeff 0 points1 point ago

Your titles made it easy to notice 2 links on the front page... jealous.