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top 200 commentsshow all 210

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]bigsz 67 points68 points ago

What it sounds like is that you two crawl around like worms at night...

[–]Seth_Gecko 26 points27 points ago

Just write it down, this really isn't about you....

[–]calicojones 18 points19 points ago

Horrible thing. I'm all worked up now. I feel bad, I feel like maybe... I should have some more wine in a can.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]cweaver 4 points5 points ago

He's a full-on-rapist.

[–]TooLebowski 0 points1 point ago

I misread your name as bob_newhart and read it in his voice. still works.

[–]iAMtheJoe 0 points1 point ago

*mittons

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Sybarith 9 points10 points ago

Is this fun for you?

[–]LobotomizeMe 2 points3 points ago

Troll level 99999

[–]Alex_S_Harris 2 points3 points ago

That's over 9000....IMPOSSIBLE!

[–]GordonMcFreeman 4 points5 points ago

You know what? This account actually makes me laugh.

[–]asongofclimatechange 1 point2 points ago

One day, Reddit will be completely inhabited by karma bots, just going from post to post, long after the last man has gone from the Earth. Has anyone happened to find a thread of mostly machines replying to one another?

[–]viper9172 -1 points0 points ago

Brave.

[–]ToobaDooba 2 points3 points ago

Not anymore!

[–]HeroOfCanton 2 points3 points ago

I want to know what he said. :(

[–]bigsz 2 points3 points ago

He said "Why don't we play Nightcrawlers anymore, Frank?"

It's an It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia quote if you didn't already know that.

[–]assadsucksd 18 points19 points ago

We need to do an intervention on your illiteracy.

[–]bigsz 20 points21 points ago

Illiteracy? You know... what does that word even mean?!

[–]IncredibleFalk1 8 points9 points ago

We're gonna get all up in your face and point out your flaws!

[–]bigsz 5 points6 points ago

A roast?! I've always wanted to be roasted!

[–]atreydrew 5 points6 points ago

let me just light up this spliff

[–]Ebelglorg 3 points4 points ago

Who would make a game about just nightcrawler?

[–]TooLebowski 1 point2 points ago

obviously you're not a golfer.

[–]Arthemedus 0 points1 point ago

Now where's the GIF with the guy playing Football(american) and blinks to score the touchdown?

[–]random_potatoes 0 points1 point ago

wat

[–]Arthemedus 2 points3 points ago

It's a GIF, a guy is playing Football and someone comes up to tackle(?) him, and he nightcrawler blinks (I play Dota 2/LoL/WC3 that's the term I know) away to score a touch down.

Ninja EDIT: Found it with some google-fu

[–]random_potatoes 0 points1 point ago

Wow, that is excellent. I wonder how they made that?

[–]Arthemedus 0 points1 point ago

Well it wouldn't be that hard to isolate the frames of the gif at that moment, also helping that the moment he disappears the background his green(so probably using a green screen type thing to pull the edit off), he didn't cross any lines, so they'd just have to cut him out for a few frames and add the effect with him coming back in.

Then again I have next to no experience with video/photo editing so I have no clue of the actual difficulty.

[–]sweetberrywine 0 points1 point ago

BAMFs not blinks

[–]The_Real_Slack 112 points113 points ago

Nightcrawler is my favorite from the X-men. That's it. I just wanted people to know.

[–]AccipiterF1 43 points44 points ago

bamf

[–]trentlott 19 points20 points ago

POMF

[–]diggum 12 points13 points ago

WUPHF!

[–]neon_kid 2 points3 points ago

hnnnnnnngggggggg

[–]Siethron 1 point2 points ago

orgasm noises

[–]lilTyrion 2 points3 points ago

haaa haa...fiiiire guy!

[–]JonTheBon 1 point2 points ago

Then two years worth glopped in.

[–]spgtothemax 0 points1 point ago

mmmuuurrrppphhh mmmuuurrrppphhh!!!

[–]kirun 3 points4 points ago

=3

[–]A_Musical_Reply 0 points1 point ago

[–]Lixtec 1 point2 points ago

I have meet my people.

[–]runtheplacered 7 points8 points ago

** SPOILERS **

Spoilers coming.

Yes, X-men comic spoilers are here:

RIP Nightcrawler

[–]CodenameDeadpool 13 points14 points ago

Only in one dimension.

Thank you for the edit of previous comment, sir*

[–]runtheplacered 6 points7 points ago

I edited my response, sorry!

And what do you mean only in one dimension? I was referring to the canon dimension. Obviously AoA Nightcrawler is still kicking, but that's not our Christian, lovable Nightcrawler we grew up knowing.

[–]CodenameDeadpool 3 points4 points ago

Much better. True. I just tend to look at things as if the entire multiverse is all connected. I really do like me some super-dark Nightcrawler, though. He's a fucking killer.

[–]runtheplacered 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, he's pretty great.

Continuation of a spoilerific conversation

About that spoiler, I was thinking about why I felt no urge to preface it with a spoiler tag or anything and I realized it's because it's so ingrained into me that super heroes die, they come back, they die, they come back. But no, you're right. That needed a spoiler as although it isn't a thing that just happened, it's still fresh enough where some people might be going through it right now. So yeah, good call. Thanks again for that. Would hate to ruin that storyline for anyone.

[–]CodenameDeadpool 2 points3 points ago

Haha. No problemo. I meant no offense. I just felt a sense of urgency.

[–]xMooCowx 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, he's just dead for right now. That's the thing about American comic books, the authors change. And the new author might have liked that guy you killed off. No one stays dead.

[–]red_2_standing_by 1 point2 points ago

It happened like 2 years ago. Who is this being spoiled for? Non comic book fans?

[–]CodenameDeadpool 5 points6 points ago

Yes. Everyone's gotta start somewhere. More and more people start reading them everyday.

[–]runtheplacered 2 points3 points ago

To add to that, it's a spoiler of a pretty important story in X-men canon. When people ask, "So what comics should I read to catch up with the X-men", House of M/Decimation is generally on that list.

[–]CodenameDeadpool 2 points3 points ago

Correct. As it should be.

[–]teamramrod456 1 point2 points ago

spoiler tag without the hyphen: [text here]-(/spoiler)

[–]FancyMoustache 0 points1 point ago

Yes, but wasn't it a comic book death? Or is it permanent?

[–]runtheplacered 1 point2 points ago

Who's to say? So far it's been permanent. But I'm sure he'll be back at some point.

[–]bluepunchbuggy 1 point2 points ago

This is the Marvel universe we're talking about. Some version or form of him is going to come back. For god's sake, he's not Uncle Ben.

[–]The_Real_Slack 0 points1 point ago

But he still lives in our hearts.....

Damn, I totally didn't know that though. Bummer.

[–]IAmA_god_AMA 1 point2 points ago

You'll be sad to know, then, that he...uh...

Never mind. Yeah he's the coolest.

[–]WonkaKnowsBest 1 point2 points ago

i remember back in the 90s he was my favorite to play on the big 4 player arcade games. I don't remember exactly what game it was but damn i wish i could play it again.

[–]Ebelglorg -4 points-3 points ago

WOLVERINE WOULD KICK HIS LITTLE BLUE ASS.

[–]Zondraxor 11 points12 points ago

If he could catch him. All things considered, I'd say Iceman is my favorite of the X-men. He is one chill dude.

[–]runtheplacered 3 points4 points ago

He's always been my favorite. I always thought he should basically be one of the most powerful mutants in existence when facing off against anything organic (in particular). I guess Marvel agreed because then they went ahead and made him an omega level mutant.

[–]Julian1224 -2 points-1 points ago

"chill" haha, i see what you did there

[–]derry-air 0 points1 point ago

But he wouldn't, because they're buddies!

[–]Ebelglorg 1 point2 points ago

If he had to, Wolverine wouldn't think twice, as for Mister pacifist Night Crawler...

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 41 points42 points ago

[–]question_all_the_thi 29 points30 points ago

For those wondering, that's a picture by Argentinian photographer Walter Astrada of a riot in Madagascar in 2009.

Source.

[–]startaco 4 points5 points ago

and here I was thinking Madagascar was just a big jungle.. not much logic in that

[–]Montgomrie 0 points1 point ago

I always thought of it as a giant-ass rock covered in these mothers.

[–]AsianMiller 1 point2 points ago

there was a day when this would be the top comment.

[–]herpderpdoo 0 points1 point ago

okay, now whats the other reference

[–]NeNuR_19 32 points33 points ago

DO THE JINGLE! DO THE JINGLE! Like a good neighbor, state farm is there!

[–]trentlott 29 points30 points ago

WITHAMNESTYINTERNATIONAL!

[–]random_potatoes 102 points103 points ago

[–]Sybarith 29 points30 points ago

That one single white line on the right hand side following them to the sky...

[–]pirate_doug 13 points14 points ago

... It's a rope.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE FOLKS!

[–]ArchangelleOPisAfag 7 points8 points ago

Are you a wizard?

[–]redshirttt 2 points3 points ago

This ending, I like it.

[–]nehpets96 1 point2 points ago

I.. what... Okay.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Tendie 16 points17 points ago

Why didn't you post...

...

um. Nevermind.

[–]emr1028 32 points33 points ago

Tony 2012

[–]Mr-Tiggo-Bitties 6 points7 points ago

Never Forget :'(

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]othankevan 8 points9 points ago

"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!"

[–]q77e 5 points6 points ago

withawayoutofhere

[–]BenFreakinFranklin 9 points10 points ago

Doesn't nightcrawler stay in stasis in some netherworld for 10 years whenever he teleports?

[–]ScorchtheAssasin 6 points7 points ago

Continue..

[–]The_Real_Slack 11 points12 points ago

This lore is interesting to me. Please continue.

[–]ruderabbit 44 points45 points ago

Not 10 years, but he does have to pass through Hell, yes.

This is why he rarely teleports people, and when he does they are either:

A) Enemies.

2) Wolverine.

[–]TheNotoriousFAP 51 points52 points ago

A) and 2) are pretty good options.

[–]ruderabbit 4 points5 points ago

Thanks. I try.

[–]Siethron 1 point2 points ago

This way they are not mutually exclusive.

[–]SergeantSkittles 9 points10 points ago

Where was this addressed - the comics? I seem to recall some animated show where they built this machine or something that would allow them to travel to that hell-area...basically the space in between. And there were monsters there. Or something.

[–]Zondraxor 6 points7 points ago

X-men: Evolution. His jumps were slowing down so he could see the hell he was going through, so they used a machine to study it, IIRC.

[–]SergeantSkittles 4 points5 points ago

Ahhh, yeahhhh....

The series ran for a total of four seasons (52 episodes) from November 2000 until October 2003

which would have made me somewhere between 9 and 12 watching it. My little brother and I used to stay up late behind our parents' backs to watch it. Nostalgia...

[–]spikesonice 0 points1 point ago

It's on Netflix right now, I believe.

[–]trentlott 7 points8 points ago

Can he just leave them in hell?

Seems pretty cut-and-dry: teleport, let go, finish jump.

[–]ruderabbit 4 points5 points ago

Not sure.

I'd get pretty awkward bumping into all your old foes every time you BAMF'd after a while, though.

[–]trentlott 0 points1 point ago

Hell's a pretty big place.

And maybe it's, like, burning them to death? Who knows the dynamics of corporeal existence in hell.

[–]runtheplacered 0 points1 point ago

pass through the Brimstone Dimension

http://marvel.wikia.com/Brimstone_Dimension

[–]Johnofthewest 1 point2 points ago

I have no idea how long but I do know he goes through some sort of hell dimension which is where the puff of smoke comes from.

I had no idea it had been fleshed out more than that.

[–]Frostbyteee 51 points52 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Shut up, Tony. 34coms 1053pts 3mos funny
Shut the fuck up Tony. 130coms 1244pts 7mos funny
I'm with Tony 50coms 661pts 1yr funny
"Do you give a fuck?" "No, do you?" "No." 116coms 861pts 1yr pics

source: karmadecay

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 50 points51 points ago

And he still hasn't shut the fuck up

[–]trentlott 0 points1 point ago

It's able to get around the fact that text is added. I'm supah impressed.

[–]morrisimo 0 points1 point ago

Bahaha, with the same top comment in almost every post.

[–]EdithKeelerMustDie -1 points0 points ago

I've never laughed at a post I had seen before until this one. This is still funny the second time around

[–]StanimaJack -2 points-1 points ago

Is his name really Tony or just commitment to the repost?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

The image has Tony written on it.

[–]StanimaJack -2 points-1 points ago

Just realized the silliness of my comment. Procede to downvote if you'd like.

[–]kayrynjoy 5 points6 points ago

No. Really its Kony.

[–]upwithwhich 2 points3 points ago

Anyone else surprised they didn't make his name Tyrone?

[–]ThrowA2343 5 points6 points ago

Pleasantly surprised, yes.

[–]upwithwhich 1 point2 points ago

Agreed.

[–]Mimble_Wimble 1 point2 points ago

Honestly, I think that's about 90% of the "humor."

[–]PricklySweat 3 points4 points ago

My name is Tony and i approve this message.

[–]enderdio 5 points6 points ago

It looked it it was finally the end of the line for the Hazar boys.

[–]GenericOnlineName 6 points7 points ago

Will they escape? Will the riot police take over? What will happen? Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion!

[–]Streeb-Greebling 1 point2 points ago

Thank you for putting the punchline in the title.

[–]grimguitar 1 point2 points ago

I'd rather be Wolverine, because fuck the world; you're the goddamn Wolverine!

[–]rwbombc 0 points1 point ago

I don't know Wolverine can't get drunk or high, that's a rough tradeoff.

[–]Storytellher 1 point2 points ago

As someone named Tony. I may need to shut up

[–]vagabondflower 0 points1 point ago

I'd rather be Shadowcat. Imagine the mindscrew that would be.

[–]Fockbox1 0 points1 point ago

Your agent do the jingle

[–]itsme_tony 1 point2 points ago

Tony has a point in my humble opinion.

[–]sometimesijustdont 0 points1 point ago

Just stick a carrot in your ass to distract them.

[–]Justedd_233 0 points1 point ago

If he was Wolverine he could snikt his way out.

[–]nurseJACK 1 point2 points ago

TONY YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!

[–]neverelax 0 points1 point ago

I am the walrus.

[–]32whocares101 0 points1 point ago

Where is the Underminer when you need it!

[–]Brougham 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else see the shape of the dumpster and think he was talking about a sand crawler?

[–]TThor 0 points1 point ago

I really prefer the other verson: "Quick! Do the jingle!" "Like a good neigbor, State Farm is there!"

[–]lizardwizardboy97 0 points1 point ago

tooooooooony shut up!!!!!!!!!!

[–]OtherGeorgeDubya 0 points1 point ago

I saw the title and expected an Iron Man related picture. I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw it was in relation to a different Marvel property.

[–]TooLazyForThisWorld 0 points1 point ago

This was in my last exam lol

[–]jazznwhiskey 0 points1 point ago

Tony, you're out of your element!

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 1 point2 points ago

You know you're having an interesting day when you log on to reddit and the front page tells you, personally, to shut the fuck up.

[–]keirani 0 points1 point ago

What's the story behind the picture?

[–]Joshk80k 0 points1 point ago

That dumpster looks like a sandcrawler!

[–]PdubsNWO 0 points1 point ago

Save this and post it tomorrow. I bet you will get more karma.

Seriously how does one of the most viewed pics on reddit still make the frontpage all the time?

[–]S_Pbr__M 0 points1 point ago

like a good neighbor state-farm is there.

[–]hereforthemoney 0 points1 point ago

That's another fine mess you got us into...

[–]obvious_stroll 0 points1 point ago

Where are the water hoses? Everyone know black people are scared of flying water. Just look at history.

[–]DC_24 0 points1 point ago

Nightcrawler? What they really need is State Farm Insurance.

[–]RuelasEscobar 0 points1 point ago

At first I thought Tony Stark wanted to be Nightcrawler.

[–]anonymau5 0 points1 point ago

Stuff like this really shits up this subreddit

[–]IncredibleFalk1 0 points1 point ago

I had this saved to my phone since like 2010. I thought about posting it, but I didn't. Fuck me, right?

[–]lilacbear 1 point2 points ago

I thought the title said Shut the fuck up Kony.

[–]Defengar 1 point2 points ago

This is a repost of literally the first picture I ever saw on reddit.

[–]yasemann 0 points1 point ago

yep, that seems like a pretty typical Tony.

[–]Demoted_Axel 0 points1 point ago

Poor Tyrone.

Never got it together.

[–]BarbecueHernandez 0 points1 point ago

is it just me or is this image not really all that funny

[–]MasterNyx 0 points1 point ago

And here I was expecting a picture talking shit about Tony Stark.

[–]ekaceerf 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who downvotes anything in /r/funny that has the last line as the title?

[–]CoryJude 0 points1 point ago

Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is THERE with...

[–]Tonytarium 1 point2 points ago

I approve.

[–]Logan1235 1 point2 points ago

His name is 2 body parts

[–]ilikedroids 1 point2 points ago

He gets his wish.

But it's the powers of Nightcrawler from the comics and teleporting anyone else causes him extreme pain.

Nerded this thread up.

[–]ToSnoopy-NotToSnoopy 1 point2 points ago

My finances name is Tony. He's currently sleeping. As soon as he wakes up, this will be in his face. Thank You random citizen, for completing my day.

[–]Tiop 0 points1 point ago

Shut the fuck up Donnie you're out of your element.

[–]SirBenjamin 0 points1 point ago

LOL REPOST BUT STILL AWESOME!

[–]H7M 0 points1 point ago

Hey! That's mine. You thieving a-hole!

[–]Midnightzero 0 points1 point ago

or take out all those guns

[–]kdogg69 0 points1 point ago

Photo is from Madagascar. Walter Astrada. http://www.walterastrada.com/#a=0&at=0&mi=2&pt=1&pi=10000&s=1&p=2

NSFL

[–]Velareyn -1 points0 points ago

fuck reposts in the ass

[–]popcorncolonel 0 points1 point ago

Nightcrawler?

[–]wtfismodesty 0 points1 point ago

Lol'd

[–]Razorwire_Dave 0 points1 point ago

This is what the end of Season 2 of the Game of Thrones is like in the middle eastern version.

[–]AMBsFather 0 points1 point ago

Correction it should be more like:

"Shut the fuck up James"

[–]Kusaba -1 points0 points ago

Too bad op is a big ol phony!!

[–]seembees 0 points1 point ago

I think this all the time. I really want to be able to teleport

[–]scigs6 0 points1 point ago

"So anyway, back to our conversation. Who do you think would win in a fight. Mighty Mouse or Superman"......

[–]o0oTony123o0o 0 points1 point ago

OK I WILL SHUT UP!!!

[–]closetstonerdad 0 points1 point ago

Too funny

[–]Chriamon 1 point2 points ago

I'm surprised it hasn't been said yet, but "If I were*"

[–]nocsyn 3 points4 points ago

SHUT THE FUCK UP TONY

[–]IronDrone 0 points1 point ago

How does all these reposts get so..much... KARMA?

[–]Im_Gay_SoWhat 3 points4 points ago

Why does it affect your life if some random has imaginary internet points?

[–]borntorunathon 0 points1 point ago

How does all these reposts

ಠ_ಠ

It's because people don't check for reposts before they upvote. Just like they don't check their grammar before they post.

[–]IronDrone 0 points1 point ago

Ah. Point taken, stranger.

[–]leoatneca 0 points1 point ago

If I were

[–]dongsman 1 point2 points ago

"MY NAME IS KURT WAGNER BUT IN THE MUNICH CIRCUS THEY CALL ME THE INCREDIBLE NIGHTCRAWLER"

"Shut up Kurt.."

[–]khdutton 0 points1 point ago

Someone may need this. No shame.

[–]Bananinator 0 points1 point ago

You made a typo. Correct link.

[–]2hot2sexy4u -2 points-1 points ago

"tony" ruined it. downvote

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Nocturne501 3 points4 points ago

Dude, what the fuck are you saying?

[–]ftpriore 2 points3 points ago

what

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 0 points1 point ago

When I was fucking your mother last night I kept bottoming out.

It was weird, you know?

So, she reaches down, and pulls out this GIGANTIC ball of what looked like fluff.

Turns out, she's been keeping this in there for months so you don't find it!

It's your christmas present.

[–]Dr_Eastman 0 points1 point ago

Why the hell are you spamming this bullshit? This is spam and you're not going to sway anyone. I hate Redditors that spew and spam this political bullshit where it is not wanted.

Edit: This is the spammer

Edit2: He deleted everything. Fucking weird.

[–]user870 1 point2 points ago

What did it say?

[–]Dr_Eastman 0 points1 point ago

How liberals are bad.

[–]MozzarellaSquirrel 1 point2 points ago

there doesn't seem to be anything here

[–]Dr_Eastman 0 points1 point ago

Looks like all his hard work failed.

[–]Jblackbelt -2 points-1 points ago

Hey Tony What? Shut up

[–]Cynikal818 0 points1 point ago

well if you look at the hypothesis then we all know the regalia is just making up for the matter in which we lost time so fast foward back across and light years ahead light is just sight not smell like your asshole but hearing noises of farts which are just expelled waste for your palatial molesty uncle who votes republican on the political debate which just means you have to spend a night outside with the wolves who have fur fur is warmth, a mothers love your uncle see?