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WTF

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all 42 comments

[–]thejohnstocktons 5 points6 points ago

One night i had to pee real bad so i stumbled out of bed and went to the bathroom. As i walked in, i felt something run onto my foot and started to wrap around my big toe. I proceeded to throw a super sweet kick as i turned on the light (as i was walking in i had my hand on the light switch) , and to my surprise I saw a centipede flying about 4 feet in the air. I proceeded to shit my pants as i looked for the nearest (heaviest) object I could find. I found a book on a small table and smashed that fucker back to the dark pits of hell's anus where it came from. Here's the aftermath: http://i.imgur.com/EmGGC.jpg

[–]bennycabrillo 4 points5 points ago

imagine the tingle on your genitals

[–]sapunec7854 2 points3 points ago

imagine waking up to your balls itching and feeling it lodge itself tightly between your sack and asshole as you scratch them

[–]anikas88 2 points3 points ago

silky smooooth

[–]SoloIsTheRightWay 2 points3 points ago

Why I still go on this site, I don't know.

[–]DerangedPigfucker 1 point2 points ago

ಠ__ಠ

[–]xplodingboy07 4 points5 points ago

[–]fresnosmokey 3 points4 points ago

Aren't those things poisonous?

[–]FUCKING_BUG_EXPERT 3 points4 points ago

What kind of joy do you get out of handling a centipede?? The rush that accompanies possibly being bitten? Having to scramble to catch it, if it decides to make a break for it?

Or maybe the sensation of its several dozen legs each lightly poking you as it travels up your arm? If that alone boner-inducing to a weirdo centipede handler, I don't know how it's worth the risk; searching for an escaped Scolopendra is like feeling for an armed bear trap in a dark room, with your wiener. Once you find it, what will ensue will likely be very unpleasant.

I owned a Scolopendra heros castaneiceps which was appropriately named Red-Headed Bastard Child. It wasn't smear-the-wall-with-shit crazy like like my 10" Scolopendra subspinipes, but in no way would I ever voluntarily handle either of them. Once in a while, very rarely, I would hold a docile tarantula to show friends or family. But the centipedes? They stayed in their fucking tanks, always.

[–]koshdim 3 points4 points ago

I would run in supersonic speed shitting Empire State Buildings on my way out of there

[–]GrukfromtheGrok 2 points3 points ago

Can it be a rule to warn you about centipedes in the title?

Thanks.

....fucking vile creatures

[–]ScreamingAloudInside 2 points3 points ago

Better on you than in you.

[–]redraven 5 points6 points ago

That thing is actually poisonous. Also I remember a hilarious thread about how one of these things lodged itself in front of a redditor's home door and would not leave.

Ok, it might not have been hilarious for the poor guy but..

[–]TI-83 7 points8 points ago

Venomous.

[–]JonnehxD 0 points1 point ago

uhh.. lysol + lighter. Solves the problem for most bug issues I have.

[–]eKtoR 0 points1 point ago

Fucking no. Why am I fucking here?

[–]jpjay 1 point2 points ago

Looking at this just gives me the creeps! Eww

[–]Zomgski -1 points0 points ago

Inb4 NOPE!

[–]durry342 0 points1 point ago

Centipedes are generally placid unless provoked. They are only slightly vonomous, if bitten its like having a fire under your skin at bite site for a few days and usually not fatal.

[–]GobertRardner 1 point2 points ago

[–]Omerov 0 points1 point ago

I have 7 of these, they are amazing creatures! The mechanics of the body is awesome

[–]Nullon 0 points1 point ago

I have legitimate myriapodophobia. Fuck my life ;_;

[–]s0c1alc0d3r 0 points1 point ago

NOPEEEEEEEEEEE (.jpg)

[–]Dalisca 0 points1 point ago

Those things are poisonous, so nope.

[–]sisambr8 1 point2 points ago

Nope!!!!!

[–]Veothrosh 1 point2 points ago

Of course i would, i love bugs, spiders, snakes, they're all so cool!

[–]ursacrucible -4 points-3 points ago

I screamed like a girl for about five seconds. Pretty sure I woke up the baby. Fuck you, Reddit.

[–]andshewas_45 -2 points-1 points ago

Nope. Nope. Nope. Just cut my arm off.. Cut it clean but cut it OFF!!!

[–]Lothens -3 points-2 points ago

Because some people aren't terrified of things hundreds of times smaller than themselves. Those people are called normal, rational people.

[–]Tactic11 1 point2 points ago

It's venomous...