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top 200 commentsshow all 426

[–]SaturdaysKids 1112 points1113 points ago

Girl talking about how she likes to give oral sex? See you on the front page in an hour. Then I'll see you on the front page being made fun of in 2 hours.

[–]ChawieWewick 273 points274 points ago

Accurate.

[–]AChildCalledClit 155 points156 points ago

I am just happy I got to see the inside of her mouth, which kinda looks like a bedroom

[–]Turk182 112 points113 points ago

She's going to need the extra room with 2 grown men in her mouth.

[–]aceoftrachs 26 points27 points ago

I just hope she holds off for a few days. That activity can cause a condition called dry socket.

[–]A_Mouse_In_Da_House 13 points14 points ago

I got quite the opposite. Minor infection of the upper right socket.

That oh so lovely feeling of pressure being released followed by the horid taste of pus and blood.

[–]mathias777 8 points9 points ago

You get used to the taste though.

[–]seishi 1 point2 points ago

I think the lower socket is the one you should watch out for.

[–]hawaiiandoohickey 4 points5 points ago

i must say her bedroom is dirty. with plenty of wood in it already.

[–]ziplokk 39 points40 points ago

Oh! She was talking about giving head! I was wondering what being straight has to do with getting wisdom teeth out. I had been thinking, "Homosexuals can eat alot of food too.."

[–]Hotjazzsax 47 points48 points ago

god this comment made me disgusted with myself and reddit. good job saturdayskids

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 27 points28 points ago

We're all disgusting. DISGUSTING!

[–]biggestboypants 10 points11 points ago

I only upvoted you because of how DISGUSTING your name is. Well done sir.

[–]Lizardizzle 4 points5 points ago

And to think we were contacted and allowed to ask the US PRESIDENT questions.

[–]z00monick 3 points4 points ago

I have you tagged as "Wants to open a laser tag arena," not sure why, but good luck.

[–]sgtpppr 7 points8 points ago

You just saved me half a day of sitting on reddit with a perfect summation.

[–]Swayz 4 points5 points ago

If a man removed some teeth to lick better pussy, he would get made fun of too.

[–]bobafoote 2 points3 points ago

2 hours? More like 20 minutes.

[–]braomius 2 points3 points ago

As a male I for one cringe at some girl trying to jam my penis into a wisdom tooth crevice while the other teeth smash up against it.

[–]Zrk2 0 points1 point ago

Came here-

No, that was about it.

[–]james_strange 0 points1 point ago

is your name a play on the skoidats song saturday skins?

[–]hgeno193 196 points197 points ago

Also as a straight female who got her wisdom teeth removed, there's no more room in there than before...

[–]samisbond 71 points72 points ago

Does she brush her teeth with his dick?

[–]Jrodkin 29 points30 points ago

Obviously the toothbrush was too big.

[–]Threedawg 12 points13 points ago

Apply cold water to the burned area.

[–]Thepunk28 28 points29 points ago

Yeah I don't get this. You shouldn't be shoving it behind your teeth in the back of your mouth.

[–]TiLeMaNiA 6 points7 points ago

you've obviously never enjoyed a REAL Blow Job. The deeper past the teeth, the better.

[–]Daggerskull 13 points14 points ago

Are your wisdom teeth in the back of your throat?

[–]brown_felt_hat 12 points13 points ago

Uh why do you think she got them removed man

[–]SofaCommander 12 points13 points ago

I was wondering about that. Not that I've been with a ton of women, but the few I have been with have never really given me the impression that removing their wisdom teeth would improve fellatio at all.

[–]brazen 25 points26 points ago

Maybe those were the only teeth she had left?

[–]SofaCommander 6 points7 points ago

I hope the r/gonewild requesters read that.

[–]echo4 4 points5 points ago

Yeah. For real. I got mine out 3 weeks ago. Wisdom teeth are closer to your jaw bone, underneath your gums.. they're not fully formed, chillin' up there with the rest of your molars. They push the roots of the formed teeth around, which is why most people need them removed in the first place.

[–]Morality_Police -1 points0 points ago

I'm wondering what kind of penis she's sucking that a) is long enough to reach the back of her teeth b) is small enough that the removal of a few teeth changes giving blowjobs.

[–]Gemini83 1 point2 points ago

You can open your jaw wider in some cases.

[–]anusclot 176 points177 points ago

Seriously. I'm going in to get all 4 wisdom teeth out in a few hours and the last thing on my mind is giving my boyfriend a blowjob.

[–]jelster 135 points136 points ago

Judging by your name, I'd say anal is the first.

[–]anusclot 161 points162 points ago

Nothing says "put stuff in my butt" like oral surgery.

[–]aceoftrachs 143 points144 points ago

With all the cotton in your mouth it's more like "pfut sftuff in ma buttf".

[–]Rocket92 6 points7 points ago

I said this aloud trying to imitate having many marshmallows in my mouth. I couldn't win either way.

[–]Touchhole 16 points17 points ago

That made me spit iced coffee on a transcript I was ready, thanks a lot.

[–]stokd 3 points4 points ago

Worst time to be sharing an office with somebody...dammit.

[–]Nick20002 26 points27 points ago

aaaaand my day is made

[–]Tawfiq7 15 points16 points ago

Oral surgeon here. I can confirm this.

[–]DevinTheGreatish 3 points4 points ago

I have you tagged as "Is a good guy" ... Apparently you're a good surgeon?

[–]merv243 7 points8 points ago

[–]UILHOK 1 point2 points ago

Aint that the tooth!

[–]Willyjwade 1 point2 points ago

I'm not sure why but this statement spoke to me in a way you could never imagine. This statement has changed my life so drastically that I am now going to leave the comfort of my home and commit crimes in a far away land in the hope that one day I can return home and be the hero my city deserves.

[–]cdude 13 points14 points ago

they should tell you not to suck on things, really, no sucking

again, absolutely no sucking

[–]aceoftrachs 57 points58 points ago

Apparently my wife misheard those instructions as "forever".

[–]daschande 0 points1 point ago

[–]ShaxAjax 6 points7 points ago

I believe I was explicitly told not to do this after my surgery. Not that they phrased it with blowjobs, just "don't suck on anything."

[–]monstercake 7 points8 points ago

It's so that you don't disturb the clots that are forming. If they get dislodged it can cause dry socket which I hear is incredibly painful.

[–]Platypus81 0 points1 point ago

I certainly wasn't told this when I had my wisdom teeth removed. I'm male though. Maybe they only warn women.

[–]Zelik 5 points6 points ago

Right, because only women use straws.

[–]Wood-angel 8 points9 points ago

Ibuprofen before the anesthetic wears off. It works

[–]aceoftrachs 30 points31 points ago

I can't fit my penis into a bottle of ibuprofen.

[–]Warpedme 8 points9 points ago

They do make family sized bottles.

[–]aceoftrachs 5 points6 points ago

Unfortunately, Mother Nature made an econo-sized penis.

[–]candre23 2 points3 points ago

I feel so sorry for you.

[–]anusclot 2 points3 points ago

Thank you, but I don't think I can choke down the ibuprofen without any water. I would REALLY like some water right now, btw. I'm actually pretty scared about the whole general anesthesia thing.

[–]Dyamalos 3 points4 points ago

No, he means after you are out of surgery.

Though if you react to the knockout gas like I did in seventh grade you'll sleep for a day and a half.

Hope you don't get dry socket like I did either.

[–]pianobadger 2 points3 points ago

Don't worry, if your oral surgeon is good you may be perfectly fine afterwards like I was. I didn't even take the pain meds, just came home and played smash bros. with a friend.

[–]sashimi_taco 0 points1 point ago

It's not that bad. I went to sleep for mine.

[–]Japanistan 0 points1 point ago

Lots of blood afterwards..

[–]gettindickered 0 points1 point ago

You'll be fine. When I got mine out it wasn't bad at all. I was scared shitless of it, but I ha some buddies over that night and was even talking fine. Next day wasn't bad either, keep with the pain meds and stay hydrated. Good luck :)

[–]Deshi_Basara 4 points5 points ago

Nail on the head there. My Dad decided to "take care" of me after. Dad logic: "Oh I'm going to get your pain meds.......better do a full grocery shop as long as I'm out." Worst nurse ever along with the worst migraine ever. Went to Mom's the next day.

[–]110011001100 3 points4 points ago

It doesnt hurt THAT much

Just a mild ache in the background as long as you keep ice on it

[–]aceoftrachs 6 points7 points ago

Is this just general blow job advice?

[–]DTX120 1 point2 points ago

Best use of this gif I have seen.

[–]ab26 201 points202 points ago

If your wisdom teeth imped your ability to perform oral sex, you're doing something horrifically wrong.

[–]judehoffman 5 points6 points ago

She needs the back ones to chew a little.

[–]MajorMin 42 points43 points ago

[–]branawesome 12 points13 points ago

Huh.

[–]derekdanger 5 points6 points ago

[–]TimTheEskimo 14 points15 points ago

Well that's enough internet for me today

[–]takemedrunkimhomeKEG 3 points4 points ago

I'm so frightened. I..don't..I don't know what I just saw..

[–]goober3 4 points5 points ago

...source?

[–]Karl_Marx_ 3 points4 points ago

OP, can you please respond to this? You may need some lessons.

I for one will volunteer to insert.

[–]tekno45 17 points18 points ago

More like, SO MUCH LESS PAIN I CAN ENJOY LIFE AGAIN.

[–]MrGoodbytes 22 points23 points ago

He says, "Oh, now?!" ... what does she respond with?

[–]Shmexy 54 points55 points ago

She's talking about swabbing the suspect's mouth for DNA, he thinks it's a blowjob.

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 13 points14 points ago

Baby I've got a swab right here, and you're suspect number one.

[–]quietlight 0 points1 point ago

My guess is something like "Ugh... its a toothbrush" but she ends it with an E sound.

[–]DrEmilioLazardo 12 points13 points ago

It's from Dexter. She's telling him to swab the suspects mouth for DNA. He thinks she's hinting at fellatio.

[–]Lahaim 4 points5 points ago

Everyone has already answered more or less, but the E sound comes from "sweep".. as in DNA sweep.

[–]my_nan_is_boss 28 points29 points ago

I watched that clip for a while.

[–]Serial_Masturbator 12 points13 points ago

6.9/10. I have a thing for pencils and plaid shirts.

[–]Inappro_Pro 10 points11 points ago

ahh the 6.9: a 69 with a period in the middle of it

[–]judehoffman 14 points15 points ago

Worst type of 69.

[–]Konsalik 6 points7 points ago

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 4 points5 points ago

I've got a plaid patterned pencil that would set you off like the fourth of july.

[–]gethereddout 0 points1 point ago

What is the last part about.. he says right now? And then she says what?

[–]miked4o7 0 points1 point ago

what is this from, and what's the context of the scene?

[–]playingpants 2 points3 points ago

Dexter

[–]pungellin 42 points43 points ago

Please let your mouth heal first.

Want to know what's worse than an STI? An STI in your gums.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 52 points53 points ago

[–]toclafane 19 points20 points ago

Risky click right there.

[–]mtwhitneyclimb 5 points6 points ago

oh the perils of reddit.

[–]jazzyball 7 points8 points ago

I gave head the Sunday after a Wednesday 3 tooth extraction (one horizontally impacted) Was not my proudest moment. Dissolvable stitches everywhere. Pretty sure it was a horrific experience for both of us.

[–]TheBlueButton 18 points19 points ago

As a gay man, if removing your wisdom teeth made you give better head, you are doing it wrong.

[–]PatrickChewing 3 points4 points ago

As a straight man that's received plenty of bad head, maybe this is why

[–]jhutchi2 9 points10 points ago

Really? When I got my wisdom teeth out my mouth actually seemed smaller. I still feel like I can't open my mouth all the way anymore

[–]Harvey-Specter 8 points9 points ago

After getting mine out I now have a double-jointed jaw. I have regular mouth opening abilities, but then I have another level of mouth opening, like unhinging my jaw like a fucking python or something. I make double big macs my bitch.

[–]takemedrunkimhomeKEG 0 points1 point ago

Same here! I thought it was just me!

[–]King_Ignatz 8 points9 points ago

I find it kinda weird how excited Redditors get about other people receiving blowjobs. I mean, being happy for them is fine, but this is getting a little creepy.

[–]Siaonara 45 points46 points ago

[–]EquinsuOcha 31 points32 points ago

If your back teeth were involved, you were doing it wrong to begin with.

[–]TheDroopy 9 points10 points ago

Her wisdom teeth are on her tongue

[–]Gemini83 5 points6 points ago

In some cases, you can open your mouth wider after removing your wisdom teeth.

[–]TheMocoMan 54 points55 points ago

[–]trev2010 5 points6 points ago

One of my favorite gif's of all time.

[–]Oatcutter 14 points15 points ago

Awww yeah. There's nothing like getting a blowjob and hitting that sweet toothless spot in the back corner of the cheek...

Is my fiancée just doing things wrong, or is that actually a thing that can be done? I'm a big fan of the blowjob, but I'm sceptical of the bio-mechanics here.

[–]Oatcutter 10 points11 points ago

I've been trying with a bottle of 'Ting' I have on my desk, and I can't seem to get anything going in that area without hitting teeth. But I'm limited in both jaw space and fellatio experience. I also can't get too intimate with glass bottles anymore since that last talk with HR.

Anyone else want to give it a try and report back? I found I had to really keep my mouth open very wide, but if it was too wide, the tendon in my cheek would go tight and the bottle would slide and hit a molar.

[–]GargamelCuntSnarf 2 points3 points ago

I fucking love Ting.

[–]Hazy_V 8 points9 points ago

Are you serious? Stop poorly referencing cocksucking just to get to the front page. Show some respect for the institution.

[–]BBrow 7 points8 points ago

what the hell are you doing with a penis in the spot where wisdom teeth used to be?!

[–]ISwearThisIsOriginal 3 points4 points ago

[–]Rear4ssault 3 points4 points ago

[–]Rasta_Man69 3 points4 points ago

If you're a male, and you say you're a straight female..what does that make you??

[–]javiiibear 9 points10 points ago

The internet.

[–]BigMadDrongo 2 points3 points ago

A liar?

[–]savvydooda 7 points8 points ago

I'm sorry, but if you're using your teeth when giving a blow job you are either an amateur or you're into some really weird fetish.

[–]I_am_not_angry 58 points59 points ago

WHAT THE FUCK REDDIT.. this post is 1 hours old and NO ONE has asked an admitted female redditer who just made an oral sex joke to post in /r/gonewild ?!?!?!

I don't even know you anymore.

[–]captainbirchbark 32 points33 points ago

Maybe people are finally getting the idea that every woman on the internet doesn't exist solely for your viewing pleasure.

[–]paranode 56 points57 points ago

NO

[–]RarneyBubble 16 points17 points ago

NO

[–]Empexis 9 points10 points ago

Nah, that'll never happen. This is the internet we're talking about!

[–]HgUuGiGtIaEr 5 points6 points ago

It appears you are indeed angry.

[–]I_am_not_angry 2 points3 points ago

Just upset at being let down.

[–]DoctorArcane 2 points3 points ago

They're waiting for the swelling to go down.

[–]Cursor_Disco 1 point2 points ago

Remove your Uvula and your recreational activities will be enjoyed even more...

[–]MySuperLove 5 points6 points ago

I'm a gay guy who got his wisdom teeth out and in my humble opinion, you're a lying bitch looking for karma.

Wisdom teeth don't affect head-giving.

[–]nomanoid 1 point2 points ago

Slow fap... I mean, clap!

[–]RiZe_of_Gingers 0 points1 point ago

How exactly does that-oh... Oooohhhhhh.

[–]smitty_wjmj 1 point2 points ago

Upvotes for being promiscuous, followed by down votes for being promiscuous

[–]Moops7 2 points3 points ago

No, no. Your vagina was already like that before you got your wisdom teeth out.

[–]I_Pee_Sitting_Up 2 points3 points ago

So you're going to give BJ's along the jawline? That can't be good for the foreskin.

[–]NotAsRudeAsYou 0 points1 point ago

Ha! I have an appointment to have my wisdom teeth taken out in t minus 60 minutes. Soooo very afraid. This helped :)

[–]yaztheblack 4 points5 points ago

Don't worry, buddy, modern anaesthetics are bloody amazing. I've had a couple of root canals in the past few years, and all I felt was about as much pain as being pinched hard on the arm once, briefly.

Good luck! You don't need it, but more luck can never hurt :)

[–]anoano 4 points5 points ago

So I wonder how many penis pictures are waiting for the OP in her inbox. If I know reddit it has to be approaching 1,000 by now.

[–]yaztheblack 11 points12 points ago

Okay. Fine. I'll say it.

... "Over 9000!"

Condemn me if you will, but there are procedures that must be followed!

[–]TiLeMaNiA 8 points9 points ago

upvote for procedural accuracy.

[–]cronos844 1 point2 points ago

I don't see what's so fun... Oh... ooh... I see

[–]Sexy_Offender 0 points1 point ago

I always assumed it was the back of the mouth causing discomfort. TIL.

[–]Fangheart 0 points1 point ago

My face went from |: to D: after realizing what you meant.. took me a second

[–]_Born_To_Be_Mild_ 0 points1 point ago

As somebody reading this while suffering wisdom teeth pain, at 31, I envy you.

[–]LtlAnalDwlngButtMnky -1 points0 points ago

So much love

[–]darthdecoy 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, yeah, yeah, wiener activity.

[–]alz1307 1 point2 points ago

As a straight male I appreciate what you've done for my kind.

[–]mjmgran -1 points0 points ago

This took me more time than it should have to understand... I'm not a clever man.

[–]BakedGood 2 points3 points ago

So what you're saying is that a blowjob from you before would have included a substantial amount of wisdom teeth.

[–]Qwist 0 points1 point ago

[–]Cubetacular 1 point2 points ago

95% of all guys who read this just clicked on your account to see you posted in /r/gonewild.

[–]NomadThree -1 points0 points ago

CT?

[–]TeCuervo -1 points0 points ago

What does your sexual orie... ooooooohh.

[–]Christendom -1 points0 points ago

what exactly does this have to do with being a straight girl?

[–]ChecksForGoneWild -1 points0 points ago

Nope

[–]Cujo_Lives -1 points0 points ago

This makes no sense at all. Dumb.

[–]abstract_misuse -1 points0 points ago

Same thought when I had my braces taken out.

[–]meowkittycat7 -1 points0 points ago

A piece of advice for you: wait for the stitches to heal. For the love of god, wait.

[–]frankiex -1 points0 points ago

Have you tried double oral yet?

[–]rakuenCallisto -1 points0 points ago

I get it. You mean dick sucking.

[–]eonbluepredestined -1 points0 points ago

Took me a minute to understand you. From one female to another, good one;)

[–]mrscrankshaft -1 points0 points ago

At first I was like...what does this have to do with her being a straight fem----- OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

[–]nastynasti -1 points0 points ago

I can help with those activities

[–]Sancer -1 points0 points ago

What? You had that space there before... What are you even talking about.

[–]shaloham -1 points0 points ago

Title tells about a girl who enjoys giving oral sex. Isn't this literally karma whoring?

[–]Bprodz 1 point2 points ago

Teeth and blow jobs DO NOT mix well. This can only be a good thing. ps This is the reason why I love the odd GILF

[–]CheekyMunky 0 points1 point ago

hay gurl

[–]topcat512 0 points1 point ago

ugh thats fucking disgusting, bitch put a warning sticker on yo ass so fellas know to stay the hell away.

[–]lbr218 0 points1 point ago

I laughed out loud. I do not say that unless I did.

[–]Ollie84 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, suck all the dicks, whore! So much space for herpes!

[–]jennah101 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for reminding me that I have to get mine pulled in 3 weeks... ALL OF THEM... And I brush my teeth everyday!

[–]cycophuk 0 points1 point ago

Who the fuck sticks a dick back where the wisdom teeth were? You must be pretty bad at bjs if you think that is appropriate.

[–]somestrangewashers -1 points0 points ago

As a gay male, this is how many fucks I give: 0

[–]undertakerdan13 0 points1 point ago

Me Gusta

[–]FUCITADEL 0 points1 point ago

Atta girl.

[–]OldJimmy 0 points1 point ago

[–]fartsinscubasuit 0 points1 point ago

Pics or it doesn't matter.

[–]DeliciousSaurKraut 0 points1 point ago

Upvote moar!

[–]HI_Handbasket 0 points1 point ago

Talk to me when you get your tonsils out.

[–]SmileLikeLaura 0 points1 point ago

I said that exact same thing when I had my tonsils out

[–]I_cut_my_own_jib 0 points1 point ago

Dibs.

[–]KSommer710 0 points1 point ago

To save everyone the trouble, she has not posted to r/gonewild

[–]KillerBYTE 0 points1 point ago

atta girl

[–]stupendousdragon 0 points1 point ago

What does her being straight have to do with anything?

[–]TransplantedNYer 0 points1 point ago

Blojobs?

[–]pyro1985 0 points1 point ago

As a straight male, i've been looking for a woman like you for a long time.

[–]reverend234 0 points1 point ago

I like how you think.

[–]Inktastic 0 points1 point ago

As a straight girl who just got her wisdom teeth out, you are crazy. All I feel is OWWWWW.

...activities can come later though...

[–]Unsecured_wifi 0 points1 point ago

I can't stop laughing

[–]crayonofdeath 0 points1 point ago

Get you tonsils out, then we'll talk about activities.

[–]trollinh 0 points1 point ago

Whore

[–]dickfitswell 0 points1 point ago

What does that mean?